The Alternate Beginning Juxtaposition
by becuzitswrong
Summary: A different beginning with a more confident Leonard who refuses to back down to Kurt when asked to retrieve a certain girl's television. How will things proceed from this altered beginning?
1. Chapter One—Meetings

**The Alternate Beginning Juxtaposition**

by becuzitswrong

**Disclaimer:** The Big Bang Theory does not belong to me. I am merely using it for fun.

**Summary:** A different beginning with a more confident Leonard who refuses to back down to Kurt when asked to retrieve a certain girl's television. How things proceed from this different beginning.

**Author's Note:** If you are looking for pain and angst, go elsewhere. My take on a happier, healthier Penny/Leonard with circumstances that push them together. Doesn't mean there won't be any tension, just not exactly the same as the show.

**Chapter One—Meetings**

"New neighbor?" Leonard asked as he stared at the blonde goddess across the hall visible through her open door.

Sheldon shrugged, "Must be. Since we've never seen her before. And she definitely isn't the 300 lb transvestite who used to live there."

Leonard couldn't take his eyes off the girl. Slender, but not too slender. Definitely shapely. Blonde hair, past shoulder length, parted in the middle to frame a gorgeous face that looked perfect for the smile that graced her pink lips. Eyes that were a glorious vibrant green that almost seemed to glow. Delicate nose. Short jean shorts perfectly showed off legs that were perfectly proportioned, tan, and toned. Above her shorts, a hint of her flat stomach was visible beneath a cute yellow top. All in all, one of the most beautiful girls he'd ever seen. And completely out of his league.

With a goofy smile, Leonard suggested, "We should go over and say hi."

Sheldon, who had been scrutinizing his face all the while Leonard had been doing the same to Penny, shook his head. "Oh no. Not again."

Leonard dragged his eyes away from the vision and glared at his roommate. "Oh no, not again, what?"

"She's never going to have coitus with you."

Leonard flushed slightly in embarrassment. "She might."

"Leonard, look at you. Then look at her. Then look at you again. Even as poor an understanding of social interactions as I have, I do at least understand that you don't have an ice cube's chance in hell of achieving coitus with that girl." Sheldon's face took on a contemplative look. "Funny saying that. Ice cube's chance in hell. Actually, if you provide a temperature for Hell and specified the size of the ice cube, you could calculate that chance. I was going to do it, but my mother says it would make Baby Jesus cry."

Leonard decided then and there that he was going to figure out a way to be with his beautiful blonde neighbor. And to start out, he decided he needed to be confident. To put himself out there. "Our babies are going to both brilliant and beautiful."

Sheldon didn't miss a beat as he responded dryly, "Not to mention, imaginary."

Leonard wanted to bang his head against the hallway wall, pretty much like he wanted to do after every conversation with Sheldon, but refrained not only because it hurt, but because he sometimes threw up when he did that. If he was to have that ice cube's chance, he was going to have to be at least a little different. A little more assured.

It wasn't as if he was actually that shy with women. He could talk to girls. Unfortunately, he tended to ramble on about physics and physics experiments because he didn't have anything else that really interested him. Well, other than comic books and science fiction, both of which most women would be even less interested in. Those were two things he had already learned not to talk about. Mostly.

'Come on, Leonard, you're a freaking genius,' he told himself silently. Even if he didn't have an eidetic memory like Sheldon, he was within fourteen IQ points of his crazy roommate. And if you accounted for the variance in the subtests and factored in Sheldon's memory which allowed him to remember every last bit of information he'd ever read, trivial and otherwise, it was possible that Leonard's IQ was actually higher than Sheldon's. After all, he understood every single weird and crazy thing that Sheldon had spewed out under the pretense it was String Theory for the last several years that they'd been roommates. So it wasn't as if Sheldon could stump him.

In addition, his own work was exemplary, allowing him to duplicate the results of dozens of other experimental physicists world-wide in the last five years, Leonard had also completed three completely original experiments that had either proved or disproved the linked hypothesis on String Theory and other ideas. He was getting a nationally reputation and would likely be tenured by his early thirties, ahead of any of his friends or peers. Including Sheldon. So why did talking to one blonde girl, who looked to be a few years younger than him, fill him with such trepidation?

Maybe it was because he'd never been hit quite so hard by an attraction for anyone else. No woman he'd ever met had engendered such an instant attraction. And there had been a few. Joyce Kim had actually pursued him when she'd been trying to get him into bed to pry secrets from him about his research. The sex had been scorching, but Leonard hadn't given up any information by the time she'd been recalled back to North Korea, apparently for lack of results. Oddly, all of his friends seemed to think that he never actually had sex with her. With exasperated amusement, Leonard wondered exactly why they thought he might have given her information if he wasn't getting any. Dr Elizabeth Gaston, the PHD in French literature he'd dated for three months while she was over here giving out a series of lectures had been extremely attractive and had taught him more about sex than every other partner he'd had combined. Yet, while Leonard had been attracted to her, talking to her hadn't really been even hard. He'd just been himself.

In the last three years since taking the position at CalTech, there had also been three other women with whom he'd had sexual relationships. Additionally, he could have had a few more if he'd wanted, especially Leslie Winkle, a colleague in the Experimental Physics Department who had indicated her interest in a purely physical relationship with him on more than one occasion. The others had been graduate students of other professors who had expressed an interest. Hell, he'd even forgotten to include his friend, Raj's sister, Priya, with whom he had one hell of a week long fling with when she'd come over to America to visit her brother. Priya had definitely benefited from Elizabeth's tutelage. Leonard winced as he remembered her biting his pillow to muffle her screams as she came. And Sheldon's resulting knocking on the door asking him if he was killing someone in there. And to keep it down if he was.

Leonard had driven Raj mad with trying to find out who his sister was seeing and apparently Priya as well, because apparently she had enjoyed the sex so much she'd been trying to get back over ever since. She'd emailed as much as well as wanting to make sure that the two of them were on the same page if she get back over to America. But it had felt a bit too much like betrayal to do that to Raj, and to be honest, Priya wasn't that great in the sack, tending to stay on her back and expect him to do all the work. So Leonard had pretty much brushed her off.

Leonard wondered if it was because he didn't talk about the women like Howard did that his friends thought he was practically a virgin. He was far from a stud, but he wasn't completely incapable of talking to a woman. He'd certainly helped enough female "friends" with their homework both in high school and college. If he couldn't talk to women, he wouldn't have been able to do that. Although, sadly, one harsh truth about himself was that there was a direct correlation to how much he was attracted to a woman to how difficult it was to talk to her.

Leonard realized that in his reverie, he'd missed several things that Sheldon had said, as well as attracting the attention of his new, beautiful, blonde neighbor. Meeting her eyes and ignoring the near physical force of her attention, Leonard deliberately strode forward and greeted her with a strong, "Hi!" And he wasn't sweating. Noooo, not at all. Hell, at least he hadn't said "Hiho."

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Penny finished opening up the umpteenth box when her attention was attracted by something from outside her apartment. She was being stared at.

Being an extremely attractive girl, having more than her fair share of attention wasn't anything new. It had led to innumerable free drinks whenever she went out, as well as other benefits. Hell, she had dresses that had gotten her out of jury duty, speeding tickets, and paying cover at innumerable bars in town. But there were drawbacks to being attractive. Like when the guy staring was ugly. Or wouldn't take no for an answer. Or stalked her. Or tried to grope her in public. Or take pictures of her to... Penny stopped thinking about it before she got squicked. So being attractive wasn't always a parade in the sun.

Still, overall, Penny wasn't unhappy with her lot in life. Although she wouldn't mind getting a bit less attention at the Cheesecake Factory. Penny got a lot of looks there, despite the relatively unflattering uniforms she had to wear there. Unfortunately, lots of attention didn't always translate to higher tips, especially with couples or groups that included women. Anyway, when she got home to the sanctum of her apartment, the last thing she wanted was to be leered and or stared at by some horny guy.

Looking up, Penny caught the guys in the act. There were two. The taller stared at her with a cool, distant look in his face that made her wonder if he'd even noticed she was a girl. It was a bit unnerving. The other guy, short, probably no taller than her, was looking at her with an expression that looked like it belonged in church. Almost worshiping. Under that gentle stare, Penny actually felt her cheeks heat. It was one of the weirdest sensations she'd ever felt.

Just as she was about to say something, the shorter guy walked on into her apartment and greeted her, "Hi!"

He was immediately followed by his taller companion, who also said, "Hi."

Penny responded with her own greeting, "Hi!" She felt a little weird mimicking the two guys, but it went right along with how awkward she felt at being stared at. "Errr..."

The shorter guy seemed to get the message that he needed to carry the conversation as he smiled and said, "I'm Leonard, and this is Sheldon. We're your neighbors. We live across the hall."

Penny felt herself relax. Okay, having the neighbors stare at her for a moment as they were checking out the new neighbor was a lot better than having random guys staring at her. They were probably just curious about who was moving in across the hall. Smiling, Penny responded, "I'm Penny. I'm your new neighbor. I just moved in."

Sheldon chose that moment to weird her out again. "That's obvious. Most of your stuff is still in boxes. And you're not a 300 lb transvestite."

Penny felt her jaw drop at the words. Sheldon was so matter-of-fact despite the freakiness that he'd just spouted that she was taken aback. She looked back at Leonard as if to say, 'Is he serious?'

Leonard caught her eye and smiled ruefully. "His name was Louie and was very pleasant, but seeing someone that big in a pink evening gown was eye opening to say the least."

Penny couldn't help herself and laughed. Okay, he was funny. And cute. Taking a closer look at Leonard, Penny saw that he was actually just a tiny bit shorter than she was with sparkling brown eyes behind his glasses. He had short, curly brown hair. He wasn't Mr Muscles, but despite his height, looked to be in shape with a solid physique. Sheldon, on the other hand, was over six feet tall, probably weighed less than Leonard, and resembled a giant preying mantis. Shaking off the imagery, Penny realized that she'd missed whatever Sheldon had just asked her. "Umm... what?"

Sheldon shook his head in disapproval. "I don't know about this girl, Leonard. She has the attention span of a gnat. Can we go now?"

Penny felt a bit insulted. She was about to respond when his roommate saved her the trouble. Leonard's tone was a bit sharp as he scolded, "Sheldon, what have we discussed about social interaction?"

Sheldon looked irritated and chagrined as he replied, "To avoid personal observations to anyone until I get to know them over at least two visits."

Leonard nodded. "Exactly. So what do you say?"

Sheldon hung his head and mumbled, "Sorry."

Penny bit back a smile of amusement and decided to get a bit of her own back. "He's a bit special, isn't he?"

She barely avoided grinning as Leonard rolled his eyes while Sheldon looked up swiftly, giving her a glare. Playfully, Penny glared back, before smiling. Leonard smiled back as he responded, "You have no idea. Hey, you want some coffee?"

Penny exchanged a commiserating smile with Leonard over his roommate. She also found she couldn't say no an invitation for coffee. "Thanks so much. Mine is still packed and I am definitely suffering from the a lack of caffeine."

Leonard smiled and waved her to follow, saying, "I completely understand. I keep a full pot on pretty much all of the time. And if I'm not drinking coffee, it's Red Bull."

Sheldon chose to reply to this as the three of them walked into the opposite apartment. "And Diet Coke. And Diet Dr Pepper. And..."

Leonard waved him off. "We get it, Sheldon."

Penny, meanwhile, had stopped by the couch and was staring at one of those white, erasable boards that was covered with exotic looking equations with symbols for which she didn't have even the faintest understanding. Holy crap! She was just realizing that the two of them must be incredibly smart when Sheldon again interjected.

"Oh, so you've seen my board." He sounded both proud and dismissive.

Penny was tongue tied. "What's it mean?"

Sheldon pontificated, "Just some random math speculating about the existence of dark matter with a little string theory doodling around the edges."

Involuntarily, Penny was impressed. "You must be one of those 'beautiful mind' guys." She glanced questioning at Leonard, who gave a little nod towards something over her shoulder. Turning around, she saw another board with equally baffling formulas and symbols on it. Taking a step closer, she stare at the board, still unable to make heads or tails of what was on it. It was more than a little bit intimidating, however.

"So, is this your board, Leonard?"

He shrugged in a self-deprecating kind of way. "Yeah, just some scribbles from work."

Having finished filling a cup and adding milk and sugar, Leonard held it out to her with a "Here you go, Penny."

Automatically, Penny took the cup of coffee from Leonard, inhaling the odor before taking a large sip. The flavor filled her mouth and as she swallowed, Penny could almost feel the caffeine working its way down her limbs. Lovely, plenty of sugar although she wasn't familiar with whatever type of milk was in it. Odd, but not bad. "Oh my God, that was amazing! I hadn't realized just how much I was missing it."

she glanced up to see Leonard smiling at her in amusement. Penny gave him a faintly flirty smile in return, and asked, "So what do you boys do?"

Sheldon jumped in. "Do? We do all kinds of things. I don't understand the question."

There was a mix of exasperation and affection as Leonard interjected, "Penny means what we do for a living, Sheldon. We're both physicists, Penny. We work at Caltech."

Sheldon immediately became upset. "Physicists? Physicists? You might as well call us 'scientists', Leonard. I, Dr Sheldon Cooper, B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D., Sc.D., am a theoretical physicists specializing in M Theory, which you might know from its more commonly name of 'String' Theory, at Caltech. Physicist, indeed!"

Penny's "Wow" seemed to ameliorate his feelings and she turned her eyes to Leonard, who shrugged and announced in a theatrical voice, "Dr Leonard Hofstadler, Ph.D. I'm an experimental physicist at Caltech." He went back to normal as he continued, "I work on a lot of different things, proving and disproving various theorems and hypotheses using a variety of different experimental methods, although most recently I have been working with high output lasers to study the soft component of cosmic radiation at sea-level. As well as taking a look at the proving the existence of dark matter."

Penny felt her jaw drop. "Wow." It was all she could think of to say. Then she blurted out her occupation. "I work at the Cheesecake Factory as a waitress." Oh dear God, she couldn't believe she'd just blurted it out like that. To a smart guy who probably thought she was an airhead now. It would have been at least a little cooler if she'd mentioned that she was actually an actress and only waited tables waiting for her big break.

However, there wasn't even the faintest hint of derision in Leonard's eyes as he nodded. "Sounds like a tough job. I bussed tables back when I was sixteen to earn money to buy my first car and it sucked. Probably the hardest work I've ever done. And from what I saw of the waitresses, they worked twice as hard."

Sheldon interjected, "I didn't know you were a busboy, Leonard. Cleaning up people's messes. You know, that's not that different from what you do now, actually. The 'busboy' for experimental physics."

Penny actually felt more than a little irritated. Sheldon seemed to lack even the slightest filter when it came to speaking, coupled with an arrogance that was incredibly unattractive. But attacking his friend like that in front of a virtual stranger was a completely 'dick' move that made her want to go all 'Nebraska' on his ass. Luckily Leonard seemed to take it all in stride. "Yeah, yeah, Sheldon. Without the work of experimental physicists, there wouldn't be any reason for theoretical physicists to exist. You postulate, we prove or disprove. So you can zip it."

With a look of supreme irritation, Sheldon huffed, then sat down and began messing with his computer, seemingly set to ignore them both. Leonard gave her a quick wink and Penny actually smiled, unable to help liking how he didn't allow his roommate to get him down. She did want to clarify something that she'd said earlier. In a low tone, she told him, "I am currently working as a waitress, but I am also working towards my big break as an actress. I love acting."

Leonard made an interested noise and asked, "So tell us more about you."

Penny got a bit more perky as she said, "Okay. Well, I'm originally from Nebraska. And I'm a Sagittarius." She heard Sheldon make a pained sound from where he sat by his computer, but after nothing further, Penny continued, "Oh, and I'm a vegetarian. Well, except for the occasional steak. I love steak!"

Leonard grinned at her enthusiasm and said, "So do I. Although I do try to eat healthy. Well, except for the occasional burger and pizza. I stay processed-food-free except for those."

Penny had finished the coffee and couldn't stand the feeling of extreme stickiness that coated her. Not having water, hot or otherwise, sucked. As she handed over the cup to Leonard, Penny couldn't help a groan of disgust from being ejected, "Ugh."

Leonard paused in setting the cups in the sink and asked, "Anything wrong?"

Penny threw up her hands in disgust and explained, "I don't have any water in the apartment. Not even cold, let alone hot. And I need a shower now. Like immediately. I'm all sticky from moving." She pulled her shirt away from the skin of her stomach to demonstrate, wincing as it stuck back against her.

Like an angel, Leonard shrugged and said, "You can take a shower here, Penny."

"Really?"

"Seriously?"

Both Penny and Sheldon spoke at the same time. Leonard gave Sheldon a look that made him turn back around and mutter, "Oh sure, take a shower. Don't worry about the shower schedule."

Penny mouthed the words 'shower schedule' at Leonard who shrugged and mouthed back, 'Don't ask.' Aloud, he said, "Come on. The bathroom's here." He led her to the bathroom, which for a couple of guys, was fanatically clean. Actually, Penny thought, it was fanatically clean compared to any bathroom she'd ever used. Everything absolutely gleamed and it was perfectly organized.

Leonard opened a cabinet and grabbed her a big, soft, fluffy towel which he placed on the vanity. He gestured towards the shampoo and said, "Feel free to use the Star Wars shampoo or body wash, but stay away from the stuff with the United Federation of Planets logo it. That's Sheldon's and he'd freak out if you used it." With that and a quick smile, he closed the door behind him, leaving Penny alone.

Star Wars body wash? Penny smiled in bemusement. She briefly debated locking the door, but didn't bother as she didn't want them to think that she didn't trust them. Plus, Leonard had been nothing but nice to her since they met. And Sheldon didn't seem interested in sex. At least with women, anyway. Penny wondered if he batted for the other team as she put her clothes on top of the vanity. Glancing in the mirror to check out her reflection, Penny was reassured by the image that stared back at her. Leonard, at least, definitely didn't bat for the other team. While he had been sweet and polite and funny, Penny didn't have the faintest illusion that he hadn't noticed she was a girl.

Not that Leonard had leered at her. Or talked to her chest, despite her relatively low cut shirt that exposed a bit of cleavage. Or stared at her legs and ass. However, while his eyes had focused intently on hers most of the time, they had, on occasion, followed her lips a few times as she spoke. And his pupils were dilated. Penny smiled at the realization that even a guy as smart as Leonard was attracted to her.

After undressing, Penny stepped into the tub and tried to turn on the shower. After struggling with it for nearly five minutes, she wanted to scream. Am I stupid, she wondered? Finally, she gave up, realizing that she was going to have to ask for help. Penny glanced down at her naked body. She grinned at the imagined look on Leonard's face if she walked out of the bathroom in her birthday suit. He'd probably have a heart attack. She wondered how how many, if any, girls the poor guy had dated. Then shook her head, dismissing the petty thought. Penny grabbed the towel Leonard had laid out for her and wrapped it around herself. She opened the door and just as she was about to step out, heard voices. And not just Leonard and Sheldon's. One was a bit high pitched while the other had an accent which she didn't immediately recognize.

While Penny didn't mind having Leonard see her in a towel (she was actually kind of looking forward to it), she wasn't really into having a entire group of horny guys staring at her. So instead of stepping out, Penny stayed just inside of the bathroom and called out through the partially open door, "Leonard! Can you help me?"

All of the conversation taking place stopped. Then Penny heard the high pitched voice distinctly say, "You mean there really is a girl taking a shower in there?"

She could almost see Leonard rolling his eyes as he sarcastically commanded, "Down, boy, down."

A moment later, Leonard knocked on the door without coming in. Penny replied, "Come on in, Leonard."

He stepped slowly into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. His eyes widened as they took in the sight of Penny in her towel, which she was holding precariously closed just above her breasts. His eyes darted down to her cleavage a couple of times but heroically tried to continuously look her in the eyes. Penny suppressed a smile as he nearly stuttered, "W-what's going on?"

Penny deliberately shrugged, smirking as Leonard's eyes darted to her chest for a moment when things went into motion there. "I can't get the shower to turn on."

Leonard looked relieved at a problem he could easily address. "It does that sometimes. Here, let me show you."

Wondering if he thought she was going to shower here again anytime soon, Penny nevertheless carefully watched as he showed her how to jiggle the faucet so that the shower would turn on.

"Thanks, Leonard."

Penny stepped into the shower, but called out to Leonard to prevent him from leaving. "Leonard?"

Before he answered, Penny had opened the towel then tossed it over the shower curtain. There was a strained note in Leonard's voice as he answered her, "Whasup?"

Penny smiled at the confirmation of her power over even smart guys and grabbed some body wash, smelling it. Enjoying the rich fruity scent, she asked, "Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Ah... sure."

Penny poured body wash over the loofah she found hanging and began to scrub herself off, relaxing as the hot water pounded her tension away. "You can say no if you want."

"I'll probably say yes."

Penny couldn't help but grin as she heard the strain in Leonard's voice, a heady mix of arousal and shock. She really hadn't planned to ask anyone for help with getting her TV since forgetting it at Kurt's, but the last thing that she wanted to do was deal with him. While far from the worst break up she'd ever heard of, it was the worst break up that Penny had ever experienced herself. She'd lived with Kurt ever since coming to LA at age 18, over three years, and it had been incredibly hard to leave him, both financially and socially. She already missed the sex and she had only been out of there less than a week, although they hadn't been together together for over a month.

"Err... Penny? What favor did you need?"

Giggling slightly at leaving Leonard hanging while she washed herself intimately, Penny said, "Why don't you sit down for a moment and I'll explain."

Leonard's voice went up an octave as he questioned, "Sit down? Here?"

Penny turned the hot water up just a little and nearly moaned as the heat beat into her neck, loosening tension there. "Sure, sit on the toilet and I'll tell you about it."

"O-o-okay."

Penny took a moment to wash her legs, then launched into the background of her request. "I just broke up with my boyfriend and moved out. But I forgot my TV. I would just go back and get it, but I am trying to avoid the drama of seeing him again so soon. Maybe in a few months it won't be a big deal, but the last thing I can deal with now is him."

"I understand."

Penny moaned as the hot water worked out a particularly painful knot on her neck. Then she realized that there was no way that Leonard hadn't heard the sound she'd just made. She wondered if he thought she was doing 'that' while showering in his bathroom. "So, what do you think?"

"I-I-I'll d-do it."

"Thanks, sweetie. You'd probably better step out because I'm just about done showering. And you wouldn't want me to take advantage of you."

Leonard's muttered, "Sure, we wouldn't that" brought a grin to Penny's face as he closed the door firmly behind him. Humming, she finished showering and dried off.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard walked out of the bathroom to dead silence from his friends. Raj and Howard were staring at him in shock. Sheldon was typing away at his laptop, ignoring the world around him. "What's up, guys?"

Raj grinned. "Nothing with me, but according to Sheldon you have a beautiful blossom of femininity hidden away in your bathroom."

At this point, Howard stepped in, "From where you just emerged after the shower started up more than fifteen minutes ago. So what's going on? Coed showers? Peep shows? Coed shower peep shows?"

Leonard frowned. "I doubt that Sheldon said that Penny is a 'beautiful blossom of femininity'."

Sheldon snorted. "Of course not. I merely stated that Penny meets the Western standards of beauty with blonde hair, low body fat, and a breast to waist to hip ratio that is considered aesthetically pleasing. I never compared her to a flower of any kind."

Howard smirked, "So hot blonde in the shower. What were you doing with her for so long?"

Leonard shook his head. "She just needed me to show her how to get the shower started."

Sheldon nodded in commiseration. "Ahh, the notorious shower handle jiggle. Understandable."

Leonard nodded back. "Exactly."

Raj shook a finger at him, brushing his other hand over them in a 'shame on you' gesture. "That was maybe the first minute. Dude, you were in there for 15 minutes. Give us the 411."

Howard leered. "Was there washing? I bet there was washing. Of the back? Of the front? Naughty parts? Tell me it was naughty part washing."

From over his shoulder, Leonard heard Penny say, "What's going on, guys?"

He spun to see the girl about whom they'd just been talking standing at the step from the hallway to the living room. Nope, he hadn't even slightly misremembered just how gorgeous she was. Penny glowed in the late afternoon light that entered their apartment, her skin radiant and golden. Strands of damp blonde hair clung to her neck in an erotic embrace. Leonard was also about ninety-nine percent sure that she wasn't wearing a bra anymore as just the faintest shadows of rosy nipples were visible through Penny's yellow shirt. And he could see it peeking from out of her pocket. "Nothing. Nothing at all. Just a couple of friends came over. Err... this is Raj," gesturing at Raj, "and this is Howard."

Leonard was about to do the same gesture towards Howard, when Howard stepped up and took Penny's hand. "Enchante, mademoiselle. Howard Wallowitz at your disposal. It is pleasure to make your acquaintance. I trust that you had a good shower. You know, I could say that to you in Mandarin. If you like Mandarin."

Leonard nearly winced as Penny, clearly uncomfortable, pulled her hand out Howard's hand and said, "Nice to meet you. Penny. And my shower was fine, wasn't it, Leonard?"

Okay, maybe not that uncomfortable, as she flashed Leonard a quick, wicked grin before her expression faded into a knowing smile. He felt himself blushing, which made Penny's smile deepen. "Oh, yeah. It was fine. Definitely fine."

Penny sauntered out the door after saying, "Nice to meet you all. Come by later, Leonard, and I'll give you the details for that favor."

And then she was gone before Leonard could ask her to stay for dinner. As the sounds of her door closing echoed in the room, Howard turned to Leonard and said, "You lucky bastard!"

Yeah, lucky, Leonard thought. Now I just have to get her TV back from her boyfriend and somehow figure out how to make sure she notices me as a guy. He wondered how hard that was going to be?

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***


	2. Chapter Two—War is Hell

Chapter Two—War is Hell

Penny walked up the last flight of stairs to her apartment. God she was so tired. It had been a long, long day. First, she'd gotten up early to finish unpacking. Then she'd worked a double shift at the Cheesecake Factory. Then she'd had to fix a flat tire. It was after 11:00 PM and all Penny could think of was sleep.

Putting her key into her lock, Penny opened her door. Walking in, she put down her purse and jacket on the couch. She made it all the way to her refrigerator, after a glass of wine, when she realized that something was different. Her apartment, when she left it that morning, was typically messy. Not a complete disaster, at least in her opinion, but still, a bit messy. Okay, it was _extremely_ messy. But she was going to clean it up. On her next day off. Maybe.

Now her apartment was completely clean and organized. Everything was in place. Her kitchen was completely organized. All of her nick nacks in the living room were perfectly placed. Everything was dusted, polished, and spotless. There wasn't a single piece of clothing anywhere in the living room. Penny walked angrily to her bedroom to find it in the same spotless condition. What the fuck?

Storming back into the living room, Penny stopped. On her TV stand was the TV that she'd asked Leonard to get for her. The sight of it blunted the worst of her anger. Penny had given Leonard a key to her apartment the night before when he'd come over to get Kurt's address. He'd told her that he would go by after work on Friday (today) to get it for her. Which he apparently had. And cleaned her apartment. Which was more than a little creepy.

Anger sufficiently renewed, Penny threw open her door and stormed over to Leonard's apartment. She hammered on the door with enough force to shake it in its frame. After a moment, Leonard appeared.

Penny growled, "How dare you do that to my apartment? I am so- OH MY GOD!"

Horrified she stared at Leonard's face, which was sporting a huge black eye. Additionally, his jaw looked swollen and was completely black and blue as well. He clung to the door as if it was the only thing keeping him upright. He tried to smile, but ended up wincing instead, "Hey, Penny."

Penny pushed her way into his apartment and immediately grabbed Leonard's elbow, and half pulled him and half carried him to the couch. Setting him down there, Penny settled in next to him. Taking a deep breath, she asked, "Oh, sweetie, what happened to you?"

A voice from her left answered her. "I can tell you what happened to Leonard. Your ex-boyfriend. Kurt, isn't it? Kurt decided to use Leonard as a pinata, only without the stick and the candy-filled goodness."

Worried, Penny saw how Leonard seemed to cradle his ribs. "It's not just your face, is it?"

Sheldon continued, "His face. His stomach. His ribs. His kidneys. It was like a high speed car wreck without the air bags."

"Sheldon, shut up. Penny, I'm fine. Really." Leonard wheezed as he said the last bit, making Penny flinch. She looked at Sheldon for more information, which he didn't seem to mind doing.

"If by fine, you mean, nothing's broken, that we know of, then okay, you're fine and dandy."

Penny felt her eyes prick with tears. "Did Kurt..."

Leonard merely nodded. Penny lightly traced a bruise on his jaw, making Leonard flinch. "But, why? I never thought he would do something like this, or I never would have asked you."

Leonard tried to shrug, but failed. He said, "It's my fault."

Penny winced as Sheldon spoke again. "If by your fault, you mean you refused to back down when Kurt threatened to beat you unconscious, then yes, it's your fault. I admit, it was brave even by the standards of Captain Malcolm Reynolds. However, in hindsight, it was a completely lacking in anything resembling survival instinct. I recommend you completely re-examine your flight or flight response so that next time something similar happens, you use flight."

"Sheldon!" Leonard winced as he shouted.

"Fine. But I told you so." Sheldon walked over to his desk, but continued to stare at her.

Penny's eyes stung with unshed tears. "Oh, sweetie. Can I get you anything? Ice? Painkillers? Have you been to the hospital?"

Leonard wouldn't meet her eyes as he said, "Not yet, no. I wouldn't mind some more ice, though."

"You haven't been to the hospital? Why not?"

"I theorize he wouldn't go to the hospital because of some deal that he and Kurt made."

Penny stared at Sheldon. He was now glaring at her like it was her fault that Leonard was hurt. Which it probably was. She was responsible for Leonard looking like he'd been beaten nearly to death. "Tell me everything, Sheldon."

Leonard protested, "Don't you dare, Sheldon."

"Sir, I dare quite a bit. And Penny here needs to understand the whys and wherefores of what she unleashed with her 'favor'."

Penny chewed her lower lip and nodded. "Tell me, Sheldon."

Sheldon jerkily sat down in the armchair next to the couch, shifting uncomfortably while staring at the spot that Leonard sat upon. Next came a several facial twists and jerks, mystifying Penny. She wondered if he had epilepsy like that guy who came into the Cheesecake Factory last month. Finally, he started, "After leaving work today, Leonard informed me that he was going to swing by and pick up something from a friend of yours on the way home. I questioned him as it was Friday and Fridays are Chinese food and vintage game night. But Leonard assured me that we had plenty of time. So we arrived at Kurt's apartment building, following some children inside. After locating the apartment, Leonard proceeded to knock on Kurt's door. The Australopithecus that opened the door towered over us both, but Leonard persevered in his pursuit of the favor. Even after Kurt shut the door in his face, he persevered. Even when Kurt stole our pants, he persevered. It was at this point, that Kurt seemed to lose his tolerance for Leonard's boyish charm and proceeded to knock him to the ground. When Leonard got up and repeated the request, Kurt went bat-poop crazy and beat Leonard into guacamole. I had to get Leonard's inhaler out as he lay on the floor semi-conscious because he was wheezing so bad. After I gave him a charge, Leonard gestured for Kurt to kneel down and talk to him. Kurt knelt down, put his ear to Leonard's mouth, got back up, grabbed the disputed TV, followed us back to the apartment, carried it upstairs, then into your apartment, and finally left. I helped Leonard into our apartment. I got him ice. And painkillers. That's the story."

Penny had felt herself get more and more choked up as the story proceeded. Leonard had stood up to Kurt? Kurt? Kurt who so tall and broad shouldered that he made her feel tiny in comparison? Kurt who lifted weights six days a week? Penny felt a tear slide down her cheek and quickly brushed it away, focused on Leonard. She needed to get him some more ice. And maybe some ice cream to eat as it wouldn't hurt his jaw as much as solid food.

Sheldon spoke again, "Leonard, what did you say to him that made him stop beating you like the proverbial drum and actually aid us in our endeavors?"

Leonard didn't say anything. He looked almost ashamed. Penny touched his hair, gently stroking it away from his face. It looked like the only place that didn't hurt him. "What did you say to Kurt, sweetie?"

Leonard closed his eyes. "I told him that if he didn't get the damn TV right then and take it back to your house, I was calling the police and would have them book him for aggravated assault and grievous bodily harm. I told him that I would also sue his ass into poverty. I told him he had ten seconds to decided before I called 911. I also told him that if he did everything I asked, I would avoid the hospital since they would file an assault report with the Pasadena Police."

Penny closed her eyes in sympathy. How could Leonard be so incredibly brave? First taking the beating and not backing down. Then when he'd been so badly hurt, threaten the guy who had done it and force him to do the right thing.

"Leonard, I have never had as much respect for you as I do now. I have always thought of you as inferior, your work substandard. A classic 'anything-you-can-do-I-can-do-better' type of thing. But I could never have done that. I salute you my friend. I salute you."

Furious, Penny rounded on Sheldon. "Will you stop? Stop belittling him! Stop putting him down!"

Sheldon looked taken aback. "I wasn't-"

"Stop it!"

Penny felt a tug on her uniform shirt. She looked down and met Leonard's gaze. "It's okay. Sheldon doesn't mean anything by it. He was actually being complimentary." Turning his gaze to Sheldon, Leonard said, "Thanks for that, Sheldon."

"You're welcome, Leonard. Well, since it is past my bedtime, and the person most responsible for your injuries is now here and can take care of you, I'll bid you adieu." With that, Sheldon turned, and headed off to his bedroom.

Penny felt herself deflate, Sheldon's words hitting her like stones. She was responsible for Leonard laying here, beaten and bloodied. She could no longer control her tears, and they poured down her cheeks. More than anything she wanted to run back to her apartment, but she couldn't desert Leonard. He really did need someone to take care of him.

She was pulled out of her reverie by his voice. "You okay?"

Sniffling hard, Penny shook her head. "No, but that doesn't matter. I am so sorry, Leonard. I shouldn't' have asked you to go to Kurt's. It's all my fault that you're laying there. That you got hurt. I'm so s-sorry."

By this point, she was sobbing. Penny felt the hand come up and grab her head, pulling her down. Tears still pouring, she was settled against a warm chest where she cried for what felt like hours. Finally, though, Penny managed to pull herself together. Lifting her head where it rested on Leonard's shoulder, she asked, "I didn't' hurt you anymore just now, did I?"

"Not too much. And it wasn't your fault." Leonard's hand stroked through Penny's hair as he spoke. "I'm the one who chose to go over there. I'm the one who pushed Kurt when he was being a dick. And I kept pushing him and pushing him even when I knew what he was going to do. So it wasn't your fault, it was mine."

Penny didn't feel any better. But she wasn't going to fight with Leonard over whose fault it was. After a moment, she asked, "Leonard?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you keep pushing Kurt? Especially when you saw how he was going to respond?"

"Penny, I- I don't know. I guess I'm just tired of being pushed around by jocks and muscle-heads. I got picked on and beat up all during school. It was something almost every day. It seemed like I was always backing down from physical confrontations. My dad called it taking the 'higher road'. My mom called it pseudo-sexual survival flight response. In my heart, I called it being a coward. When Kurt pushed me, all I could see was how many times I had been pushed around. And I decided that today I was drawing a line in the sand. I was done with backing down, even if it meant I got hurt."

Penny could feel Leonard's fingers continue to stroke through her hair. After a moment, she asked, "Is that the only reason?"

She could feel the half laugh, half cough that erupted from Leonard at her question. After a moment, he admitted, "Well, I might have been trying to impress this girl with my macho-ness."

Penny smiled against his shirt. "Really? Who was this girl you were trying to impress? I hope that she was hot."

Leonard's fingers lightly threaded through her hair, brushing it back from her face. "Smoking hot girl. Total fox. As Howard would say, a shiksa goddess."

Penny raised her head and looked down at Leonard's bruised face. Despite how much he must hurt, he was smiling. "Really?"

His hand moved down from her hair to cup her cheek. "Really."

Staring into Leonard's eyes, Penny felt an irresistible impulse. Leaning in, she lightly touched her lips to Leonard's, softly caressing them with her own. Slowly, she deepened the kiss, her tongue lightly pushing into his mouth, and touching his own. Penny felt heat ignite low down in her belly, and deepened the kiss further, her mouth moving on his. However, his groan of pain was like a splash of cold water on her and she quickly stopped, horrified at having hurt him.

"Oh my God, are you okay?"

Leonard smiled. "I wish I taken something stronger because I didn't want you to stop kissing me."

Penny frowned at him, simultaneously pleased and upset. "I was hurting you. No more kissing until you're feeling better."

Leonard's slow smile at her words made Penny rethink exactly what she'd said. At her blush, he agreed, "We'll wait to kiss more when I feel better."

Penny mildly scolded, "That's not what I said, but we'll see."

She sat up and looked him over. Leonard was still fully dressed in the same clothes he'd worn to Kurt's place. They looked bloody and uncomfortable. He needed to get out of his clothes, take a hot shower, put on some Bengay, then some comfortable sweats.

"We need to take care of you. First a shower, then some Bengay, maybe some more ice, then put you to bed."

Leonard's eyes lit up. "Really? I don't know if I can do all of that alone, nurse."

"Settle down, perv. I'll help you. With some of it. Not the shower." Penny added the last as Leonard was looking fairly turned on by the idea of her 'helping' him with his needs.

"Let's start by getting you up."

Penny stood up and leaned forward to pull Leonard to his feet. Anything playful about his expression faded as he tried to get up. It took three tries before they were successful in getting him to his feet. Leonard groaned in pain when Penny tried to lift his arm over her shoulder. She had to settle for putting her arm around his waist and carefully guiding him towards the bathroom.

Once there, Penny ran into another problem. Leonard couldn't undress himself. She ended up having to strip him of his clothes, carefully moving him as little as possible as she slowly peeling one article off at a time. Finally, it was just Leonard and his boxers. Penny carefully sat him on the toilet seat and said, "I'm not taking these off. I don't think either of us are ready for that. Okay?"

Leonard nodded shakily. Penny got the shower going, the water as hot as she thought he could stand, then helped him inside. Finally she pulled the shower curtain shut and sat down on the same toilet seat, fight back tears again. Leonard had so many bruises that his bruises had bruises. He looked completely wrecked. And it scared her to death. The only thing keeping her going was that he needed her so badly. Otherwise, she would be a complete mess, sobbing her eyes out.

"Leonard? How are you feeling?"

His voice was low as he responded. "Better. The hot water feels ten times better."

Thank God, Penny thought. "Okay. I'm going to get you some dry boxers out of your dresser. I'll be right back."

Penny made a quick trip to Leonard's room. She smiled at the oddball variety of boxers in a variety of different colors and designs, many of a superhero theme. Penny grabbed some that had some guy holding a blue and white shield with a star on it, while wearing a matching uniform. They were of some extremely soft material and hopefully wouldn't hurt him. Hurrying back to the bathroom, she found Leonard sitting on the toilet seat, mostly dry, with a towel wrapped strategically around him. He looked a little less stiff, but even more tired. And his bruises were really starting to show.

Penny showed Leonard the boxers she'd picked out. "Here you go, sweetie. Can you put those on?"

Leonard looked doubtful, but nodded in affirmation. Worrying her lip, Penny decided to help him as much as she could. Kneeling down in front on Leonard, she made sure his feet were through the legs of the boxers, then pulled them up as much as possible with the towel in the way. "Can you do the rest, sweetie? I'm just going to turn my back. If you need help, let me know."

Turning around, Penny heard Leonard stumble to his feet. After a second, he said, "Okay, they're on."

Turning back, Penny saw that they were mostly on. She tugged on them a little, straightening the waistband and legs, then turned bright red as they bulged out in front. Okay, someone's happy to see me, she thought. Deciding to ignore it so as not to embarrass Leonard even further, Penny merely put her arm back around him and led him to his bedroom. She managed to get him down on his back, then settled on his bed. Leonard closed his eyes and shivered. Penny chewed her lower lip a moment in consideration, then said, "I'll be right back with something. Just stay right there and don't move. Okay?"

"Okay."

Penny broke the land speed record as she raced back to her apartment. Running into her bedroom, Penny yanked off her uniform in 30 seconds, along with her bra and panties. Pulling on clean underwear, she also put on some sleep shorts and a skimpy white tank top before running into the bathroom and grabbing a mostly full tube of Bengay. She often used it after long shifts left her legs achy and hurting. And Leonard certainly needed it more than she did. As Penny turned to leave, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the bathroom mirror. The outfit she had on might just be a little skimpy. But Penny wasn't exactly shy and more to the point, figured that the last thing Leonard was going to be worried about was what she was (or wasn't) wearing.

Stepping back out, Penny grabbed her keys, locked up the apartment, and hurried back across the hall. Hurrying towards Leonard's room, Penny knocked once, then went on in. He hadn't moved from where she'd left him. He opened bleary eyes and squinted at her when she came in. "Penny?"

"It's me. Wow, you are blind without your glasses."

"Little bit. Can I go to sleep now?"

"In a moment, sweetie. First, let's get you slathered up with this stuff. Okay?"

"Okay."

Penny knew there was no way the thick gel wasn't going to be cold so she didn't bother trying to warm it up in her hands before applying it. Instead, she immediately began rubbing it on Leonard starting at his chest. She took her time, trying to both be thorough while not pressing too hard on him. Despite her care, Leonard clearly had to bite back groans of pain. Still, by the time that she had finished with his torso and legs, he was feeling a bit better. Now she just had to tuck him into bed.

That was easier said than done, but finally Penny got Leonard underneath his covers. He'd started shivering about halfway through the massage and he was still shivering badly even now. Penny didn't even try to analyze her motivation as she carefully slid into bed next to Leonard, cuddling against him, allowing her body to warm him.

Leonard's breathing had long since slid into sleep before Penny allowed herself to fully relax against him. Despite the amount of Bengay that she'd had one her own hands, her wrists and arms ached from the effort she'd put into Leonard's massage. But that wasn't what kept her awake. No, it wasn't physical aches that made it hard for her to sleep. Nothing physical at all.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard felt himself waking up, but tried to hold onto sleep. Despite his best efforts, an intense pressure in his bladder pulled him to full wakefulness. Damn, but he was hurting. Really, really hurting. What the hell was wrong with him?

Knowledge slowly percolated back into his brain as he remembered the events of the day before. Kurt. Getting the crap beat out of him. Penny.

Despite everything, Leonard couldn't remember getting to bed. Did he have amnesia from a head blow? Maybe, because he was pressed up against something warm and soft. That smelled like cheesecake. Weird.

Then Leonard realized what or rather who, was laying next to him in bed, cuddled completely into his arms. Penny. Opening his eyes, he studied the blurry, blonde crown of her head as it lay on his shoulder facing towards him. Leonard could hear the faint snores and snorts she made as she breathed. Even Penny's snores were cute, he thought in bemusement. Then Leonard became aware of other parts of Penny that were pressed up against him. Two other parts that moved with her breathing. Soft. So very, very soft.

Penny was warm and every inch of her that touched him felt soft and wonderful. Leonard shifted slightly as he hardened involuntarily, then froze as Penny moved one thigh over his waist, trapping his erection against the cradle of her thighs. More than anything he was trying not to move, not wanting her to wake up and call him a pervert or worse.

Because he was remembering the kiss on the couch and the repartee after. Penny had talked about kissing him after he healed up and the last thing Leonard wanted to do was to derail that potential kiss. Although he wouldn't mind kissing her now. Despite his aches and pains, Leonard wanted to kiss the woman sleeping next to him. Kiss her and more. But for now, he needed to be patient.

Leonard's patience was rewarded as after a few more minutes, Penny rolled over onto her back, freeing him from her arms and legs. Leonard wasted no time in dragging himself (with glacial swiftness) out of bed and to the bathroom. It was all he could do to walk and it took him the better part of five minutes to get to the bathroom. Humiliatingly he had to pee sitting down, not trusting his legs to support him, but felt a little better after accomplishing this.

Getting back was proving even harder. Leonard was making glaciers seem fast as he inched down the hall. Then right in front of him, Sheldon's door opened.

"Leonard, what are you doing up? Should you be up? I mean, really, if you're not going to see a doctor, at least use the common sense to not exert yourself when you're in such bad shape."

Leonard gritted his teeth. "Had to use the bathroom," he muttered.

"Oh, I guess that makes sense. A man's bladder has needs as well. Well, you should get back to bed."

Leonard momentarily closed his eyes, suddenly dizzy. He muttered, "Heading that way."

"I say, Leonard, do you need any help? Because you look like you're about to collapse. Actually, you look worse than yesterday. A great deal more swelling in your face combined with the incredible variety of colors in your bruising-"

"Yes. Help."

"Well, you could have said 'please'."

"Please?"

With that, Sheldon seemed to realize the direness of the situation and helped Leonard back to his room. Sheldon had to half carry him, but finally Leonard was sitting back onto his bed, about to crawl back into the warmth there. Then he felt Sheldon's stare. Looking up, Leonard saw Sheldon's disapproving look focused on the blond head visible under the blankets next to him.

"Coitus? Really, Leonard? And in your condition. I would have thought even your sex drive would have given itself a day or two to rest after yesterday. But oh no, not Leonard Hofstadter."

Frantically, Leonard painfully waved his hands up and down for Sheldon to shut up. "No coitus. Penny's just stayed over to take care of me. Please don't wake her up, Sheldon. Thanks for your help, but I'm going back to bed now."

Sheldon moved away shaking his head. Even after the door closed behind him, Leonard could hear Sheldon's mutters as he moved down the hallway, "Where does he get that? Not from his mother, that's for sure. I mean, seriously, coitus when you're half dead? Is that some kind of biological drive thing that I don't understand? If it is, I'm glad to not understand it. Or experience it. I mean-"

Leonard let himself relax back into the warmth of his bed, said warmth only made better by the soft heated body he slid up against as he laid his head on his pillow. Penny's soft bottom pressed against his groin, but he was able to resist any sexual thoughts by just focusing on how much he still hurt. At least until she spoke.

Leonard was about to slide his right arm from where it rested on his hip to around Penny to hold her closer when she spoke in a sleepy voice, "Does he always call sex 'coitus'?"

Leonard suppressed a groan. "You heard that, I take it? And yes. Sheldon likes to use whatever term will cause the most embarrassment to all concerned."

Penny's sleepy voice continued. "I could totally see that. That boy's a total whack-a-doodle. Still, it must be flattering to you for him to think you had 'coitus' last night the shape you were in?"

Leonard felt the blood that should have been keeping him warm rushing to his groin as he hardened against Penny's bottom. In a strangled voice, he said, "Penny, please don't talk about coitus or sex or anything along those lines right now."

Penny had stiffened slightly when Leonard's erection had pressed against her backside so insistently, but then she relaxed against him. Then she seemed to shift around a bit, causing her ass to grind against Leonard's groin. A groan of not-pain burst from Leonard and he felt what was probably a full body blush erupt over him. Penny's tone was completely innocent as she asked, "You okay, sweetie?"

"Aayy okay, here."

With a final swivel of her hips, Penny relaxed against him, even pulling his arm around her body, resting his hand on her stomach. "Go back to sleep, sweetie."

Yeah, like that's going to happen, Leonard thought. After that, I'll probably never sleep again. Still, after just a moment, blackness claimed him.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***


	3. Chapter Three—Waking Up Next to an Angel

Chapter Three—Waking Up Next to an Angel

Penny woke up feeling surprisingly good. She started to stretch, then froze at the sensation of an arm wrapped around her with the hand attached to that arm firmly cupping her breast. Who?

After a moment, memories of the night before came back and Penny relaxed as she realized that the mad cuddler was Leonard. Also it was unlikely that he'd deliberately set out to grope her. Most likely, his hand had just ended up there. Holding her breast.

With a smile, Penny carefully pulled Leonard hand away and moved it a foot lower. Then the other issue presented itself to her. Little Leonard was firmly pressed against her backside. And Big Leonard was dreaming. Of something that made him grind slowly against her. It was a little embarrassing, since she didn't make a habit of waking up with strange men.

Penny had had one night stands before. She was hardly a virgin. But the last 3 years she'd been in a committed relationship and the one thing she wasn't was unfaithful. So it had been a while since she'd woken up next to a virtual stranger. Still, she missed the sex. And that month that she and Kurt had abstained was starting to loom pretty high. Because Penny liked sex. For the greater part of her relationship with Kurt, the two of them probably averaged having sex twice a day. At a minimum.

But missing sex or not, nothing was going to happen. So having Leonard press against her, while definitely feeling good, wasn't going to lead to anything since the last thing he needed was to strain himself like that. And the last thing she needed was to have rebound sex with someone. The only thing that would do would be to make her hate herself. Thirty-six hours of goodness leading to weeks of recriminations and soul-searching.

Penny was about to get up when she felt the body behind her stiffen, then pull back a bit as Leonard tried to move his groin away from her. Her knowing smile disappeared as she heard him groan in pain. Quickly flipping over, Penny met Leonard's pained gaze as they lay just inches apart.

Without his glasses on, Leonard looked completely vulnerable. His eyes were a soft brown like dark caramels and were framed by the biggest, softest lashes Penny had ever seen on a guy. Illogically, she felt completely envious of Leonard's lashes. Then his labored breathing registered and Penny asked, "Are you okay, Leonard?"

"Inhaler." At the same time, he pointed to Penny's other side, towards the bedside table.

Penny rolled back over and saw a little silvery and white tube sitting there on the table. Grabbing it, she rolled onto her back and passed it to Leonard, watching as he spritzed his inhaler. His breathing immediately improved and he relaxed. At her inquiring look, he explained, "I have asthma. Not terrible, but I do use my inhaler on occasion. I always keep one with me 'just in case'."

Penny nodded. "How are the aches and pains?"

Leonard winced. "Pretty bad. Where are my glasses by the way?"

Penny nodded to the table on the other side of the bed, next to Leonard. "Over there. But stay put and I'll get them."

Carefully, Penny sat up, then reached across Leonard, making sure not to put any weight on him or touch him in any way. She gathered up his glasses then sat back down, holding them out to him. Wide eyes met hers as he took them from her. Additionally, Leonard was blushing slightly.

Penny frowned, then realized what had happened. She hadn't touched him when she'd leaned over him, but her chest, covered by a tank top almost thin enough to see through had been about three inches from his face. Even near-sighted, Leonard could see that. She felt her own face heat a bit.

Penny actually found it amusing that something as trivial as that could make her blush when she'd spent the night with him. And seen almost every inch of Leonard's body. It was odd what felt normal and what felt embarrassing.

Across from her, Leonard put on is glasses and seemed immediately reassured to be able to see again. Then she heard his stomach rumble. Sitting up quickly, Penny swung her legs off the bed then stood up. "You must be hungry. I'll make you breakfast. And get you some pain medication. What are you hungry for?"

Leonard looked at her, obviously trying not to look her up and down, then said, "There's a robe behind the door. If you're going to cook me breakfast, you'd better wear it."

Penny saw it and slipped it around her, belting it. It was actually the right size for her, even if in man's style. She and Leonard really were the same size. Turning, she saw Leonard's look of admiration deepen as it appeared he liked the way she looked in his robe. Penny gave a quick twirl, asking, "How do I look?"

"Good enough to eat."

Penny stopped, shocked, surprised, and flattered by Leonard's words. He, on the other hand, looked like he couldn't believe what he'd said. Red faced, he haltingly expounded on what he'd said, "Because of how hungry I am. For food."

Penny smiled.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

It wasn't hard to find all of the breakfast stuff, and since they had all of the ingredients, Penny decided on scrambled eggs, English muffins with butter, bacon, and orange juice for breakfast.

Sheldon seemed absent from the apartment, which relieved Penny as she wasn't looking forward to making small talk with Leonard's whack-a-doodle roommate. She still felt a little weird around him. Maybe when Leonard was better she could figure out what Sheldon's 'deal' was.

Penny set up a breakfast tray with everything on it and carried it back to Leonard's bedroom. On it, she also had the bottle of pills that she's found on the counter on top of a note that said, "Pain Pills. Read the instructions carefully." Apparently left by Sheldon, they were simple prescription Vicodin. Take one or two pills every four hours with food. Hopefully, they would help take the edge off of the pain for Leonard.

Penny nudged open the door with her hip and walked in, carrying the tray. She was greeted with the sight of Leonard standing by his bed wearing nothing but his boxers. As bad as he'd looked the previous night, he looked ten times worse this morning. His entire body was covered in bruises ranging in color from greenish to bright purple. Penny could safely say she'd never seen anything like it. And it terrified her.

"Leonard!"

He spun around clumsily, nearly falling as he struggled to stay on his feet. "Wha-"

"What are you doing out of bed?"

Penny tried to relax as Leonard stuttered out a reply that seemed to say something along the lines of "he was trying to stretch out the soreness."

"There's time enough for that later. Get back into bed right now."

He scrambled to obey her. Once he was back down with blankets pulled up over the middle of his chest, Penny set the tray of food on his lap. "Eat your breakfast, then I want you to take two of these pills. Okay?"

Leonard nodded. "Sure thing, Penny. Thanks for breakfast. It smells great."

Penny smiled, fighting back tears. "You enjoy it, sweetie."

She sat back down and watched Leonard start to eat. He looked up at her and asked, "You're not going to eat as well? There's way more here than I could eat."

Okay, so maybe she had gone overboard, cooking up most of a package of bacon, an entire carton of eggs, and several English muffins, but she'd been thinking about him being hurt, not about the actual cooking, and had kind of zoned out during the preparations. "Well, okay. Let me just get another fork."

Penny walked back into the kitchen and grabbed a fork and another glass of OJ. She started to grab a plate, then shrugged. No point in dirtying up another dish to be washed. Walking back in, she settled into the bed next to Leonard, puffing up the pillows so that she was mostly upright. He was watching her with an indecipherable expression on his face, then moved the plate on the tray closer to her.

Penny grabbed a bite of eggs and almost swooned at the taste. Wow! That was good. Penny wasn't much of a cook overall, but she made a mean breakfast. She bit into a piece of crispy bacon and moaned slightly. Mortified, she met Leonard's eyes and he was smiling at her. Cheeks heating, Penny said, "I really like bacon."

Leonard shrugged, made a pained face, and agreed, "Me, too. This is really good, Penny."

Penny swallowed her latest bite, then responded, "Thanks, sweetie. Breakfast, I can make. Just don't ask me to cook you lunch or dinner. Not if you want to live."

Leonard nodded. "I know the feeling. But that's what take out's for, isn't it?"

Penny nodded happily in agreement as together they finished the feast. After the last English muffin disappeared, she grabbed the plates and carried them to the sink. She'd wash them later. Walking back into the room, she watched Leonard as he lay there with his eyes closed. After eating, he'd taken two Vicodin and seemed to be resting comfortably. After a while, he opened his eyes.

"Penny?"

"What, sweetie?"

"Do you have to work today?" Leonard looked concerned.

"Today's my day off. I was just to lounge around and do nothing. Well, I was going to clean, but someone already did that. Which reminds me! Who cleaned up my apartment? Because that is just creepy."

Leonard got a resigned look on his face. "Was it perfectly organized?"

"Err... Huh?"

"I mean, was ever single thing in there organized by size, shape, color, usage? And labeled?"

Penny shook her head. "I don't know. It was freaky clean, if that's what you mean."

"Sheldon."

Penny felt confused. "Sheldon, what?"

Leonard nodded. "It was Sheldon."

"Why would he clean my apartment?"

Penny almost smiled at the nervousness in his voice as Leonard explained. "You might have noticed that Sheldon's... different. The thing is, he's actually more like crazy crazy. Although he claims his mother had him tested. Anyway, there's this thing, called Asperger Syndrome, which is a kind of autism, characterized by restrictive and repetitive patterns of behavior. Sheldon-"

Penny waved her hands, interrupting, "Sweetie, whatever you're saying, can it be in English?"

"Sheldon's borderline nutso and can't stand anything dirty or out of order."

"But why did he clean up my apartment? Are you saying my apartment was dirty and out of order?" Penny was starting to get angry.

Leonard shook his head vigorously, then flinched in obvious pain, negating most of Penny's anger. "Noooo. Not me. Sheldon. According to him when he locked up your place after Kurt dropped off the TV, it looked like someone had robbed you. Or the police had searched it. Anyway, he disappeared for a few hours after parking me on the couch with an icepack. I didn't think anything of it at the time, probably because I was unconscious for most of it, but he probably went back and cleaned and straightened up your apartment."

Penny leaned back against the door. Majorly creepy. Then a thought occurred to her. "He didn't... he didn't organized my clothes too, did he?" That dresser had definitely been neater when she'd gone digging for something to sleep in. But she'd been in such a hurry to get back to Leonard that she hadn't really noticed too much. Her closet! It would be more than creepy if her closet was as perfect as the rest of her apartment and had found found her vibrator. And labeled it.

"Probably."

"All my clothes? MY UNDERWEAR?" Okay, the idea of Sheldon folding her panties was just as creepy as him finding her vibrator.

Leonard closed his eyes again. After a minute, he said, "Sorry. If it makes you feel any better, he doesn't think about women in _that_ way."

Confused and still feeling more than a little violated, Penny asked, "What way?"

"Like women. I mean, he doesn't see women as sexual beings. Actually, he doesn't see anyone as a sexual being."

"Seriously?"

"Oh yeah. He may talk about coitus, but the thought of doing it would probably make him vomit. He doesn't even like to be touched. He's has a combination of tactile defensiveness and mysophobia that borders on the absurd."

Penny went and sat down on the bed next to Leonard. "Mysowhatia?"

Leonard opened his eyes again and grinned. He was looking a bit out of it, probably from the Vicodin. "He's a germaphobe."

An evil idea began percolating inside of Penny's brain as she lay back against the pillows. If Sheldon didn't like to be touched, then maybe he should be. Touched until he ran screaming. Absently, she reached over and stroked Leonard's hair. Her revenge could wait a day or three. "How are you feeling, sweetie?"

"Like a cloud." At her amused look, Leonard expounded, "I feel soft and fluffy and like I'm going to just float away."

"Ooohh, sweetie, you're as high as a cloud. Maybe just one Vicodin from now on. I didn't realize that you were such a lightweight."

Leonard giggled in response. He repeated what she'd said, "Lightweight."

"Yep, total lightweight. Remind me not to get you drunk."

"Penny?"

"Yeah?"

"You smell good."

Flattered, Penny smiled brightly, although how she could smell good after working all day yesterday followed by giving Leonard a Bengay rubdown, she didn't know. "Thanks, sweetie."

"Sure. I really like cheesecake. But I can't have any because lactose intolerant."

Penny froze, her hand still touching Leonard's hair. Okay, shower time. Right now. She sat up and jumped out of bed. Heading towards the door, she paused at Leonard's "Penny, where're you going?"

"I'll be right back sweetie. Go to sleep and when you wake up, I'll order something for lunch."

Penny smiled at his sleepy "Okay."

Now it was time to make herself human again...

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard woke up slowly, feeling like he was swimming through layers of consciousness. As he became aware of the world around him, he frowned. Why was he still wearing his glasses? He usually put them on the nightstand next to the bed-

Oh. He must have fallen back asleep after breakfast. Penny! Quickly opening his eyes, Leonard glanced around to see if the gorgeous blonde was still there. Fortunately, she wasn't. He was remembering the last thing he'd said to her before drifting off. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, Leonard realized that she'd told her she smelled like cheesecake. How romantic, he thought to himself sarcastically. No wonder she'd cleared out. He wondered is she was coming back, then remembered she said she'd get him lunch.

Sitting up stiffly, Leonard realized he needed to use the bathroom. And take another shower, he thought, smelling the remnants of his Bengay rubdown, still lingering hours later. And brush his teeth as he ran his tongue over the coating that seemed to have accumulated since yesterday morning.

So step one, Leonard thought. Get out of bed. Gingerly, he swung his feet over the side of his bed until they touched the floor. Gathering himself, Leonard stood on shaky legs. Still, not as shaky as they'd been when he'd had to pee this morning. He approached his door, then stopped, puzzled, wondering where his robe was. Then he remembered seeing it on Penny. Wow, she'd looked good wearing his robe. And even better before she'd put on his robe.

Unconsciously, Leonard licked his lips, remembering how Penny had looked in that white tank top, her nipples visible as dusky pink spots under the thin material. Not that he didn't already know what Penny looked like topless since Howard had found some low budget horror movie on the internet that had never been released that Penny had starred in. It was called Seriel Apist. Penny had walked around looking hot for most of the movie then had a shower scene right before getting killed. They'd only shown her from the waist up, but she'd looked amazing. So incredibly beautiful... his thoughts jerked to a halt as he realized that he was now sporting an erection.

Gingerly, he touched himself, but the mere act of moving his arm was extremely painful. "Sorry, buddy, but you're just going to need to relax. Maybe in a couple of days, I'll be able to take care of you."

Trying to think thoughts that would decrease his libido, Leonard finally settled on Sheldon. That did it nicely as his erection sulkily subsided. Amused, he thought of a new product for sale, Sheldon, the Anti-Viagra. Maybe he could market it to young women who married old men for their money. They'd never have to have sex with their sugar daddies again. But then again, they'd have to experience Sheldon frequently, something that no one wanted to experience more than once.

Shaking his head at his own whimsy, Leonard shuffled down the hall, moving slowly, but faster than last night or this morning. He wondered if Sheldon was around, but figured that if he was, he would have already have heard Leonard moving around thanks to his Vulcan hearing.

The hot water felt like bliss. Leonard cranked it up so hot that it almost felt like it was peeling the skin from his body. Not that he would have cared that much after seeing himself in the mirror. Horror show didn't even begin to describe it. Leonard hadn't even known the human body could turn that many colors despite being hit more than a few times while in school. Some of the shades of purple he'd achieved were almost pretty, while the greens, blues, and blacks were much less so.

The amount of subcutaneous bleeding that had occurred to make so many bruises actually scared Leonard a little. Still, he knew it looked far worse than it probably was. After all, there wasn't any blood in his urine, and despite all of the pain, all his joints seemed to have full range of motion. Even his teeth, which he'd checked while experiencing the most painful brushing of his life (and this was for someone who'd had orthodontics), were undamaged. Just ridiculously painful from the swelling in his jaw.

At least the hot water was loosening up things nicely. After a while, Leonard was able to lift his hands over his head, allowing his to thoroughly wash his hair. He was even able to use his loufa, carefully not thinking about the last person who used it and the body parts it had touched-

"Godammit!"

Frustration built up inside of Leonard as he realized he had another Penny-induced erection. He could just imagine it now. Penny asking him how he was doing and him answering fine except for this pesky, frequently occurring erection. Although maybe if he asked nicely, she would help him take care of it by-

"Nooo!"

Leonard needed to turn off his mind. And his libido. About the only time that he ever envied Sheldon was when it came to having absolutely no feelings about women. As far as Leonard knew, Sheldon had never had an erection. Certainly not one fueled by a gorgeous girl like Penny. One where...

"Oh fuck it!"

Leonard didn't care about pain right now. Taking himself in hand, he stroked himself up and down, turning so that the hot water beat down on his shoulder, making it less painful as he allowed his mind to fill with thoughts of Penny.

Penny in her denim shorts. Penny's cleavage in that tank top when he'd first seen her. Penny slim, sexy figure. Penny in that white shirt with her nipples showing through. Penny in the shower. In her movie. Then in the shower here. Imagining pulling back the shower curtain and seeing her topless. She'd pull him in with her and-

Leonard erupted into his hand, an involuntary cry yanked from his throat, "Penny!"

Just then, the door of the bathroom burst open and Leonard heard, "Leonard! What's wrong?"

Turns out, you really can't die of embarrassment. Even if you want to.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Penny whistled as she walked up the three flights of stairs towards Leonard's apartment. She was blissfully clean, having showered, washed her hair, and moisturized her face and body completely. She was wearing some make up, but not too much, which made her feel pretty and desirable. And she was carrying lunch from Saipan Palace, which she was looking forward to sharing with Leonard.

He really was the sweetest guy she'd ever met. Funny, sweet, incredibly smart, Leonard was the exact anti-thesis of most the guys Penny had dated. Also ridiculously brave. And he seemed to like her.

Penny had found Leonard to be more than a little intimidating. He was too smart for a waitress slash wannabe actress from Nebraska. But he made her feel good. And he definitely noticed that she was a girl. While he didn't leer, Penny didn't have the slightest doubt that he liked her in a boy/girl way.

She was a bit leery of getting into a relationship too soon, especially after the way she and Kurt had ended up, but at the same time, Penny was curious about how it would be to date Leonard. Maybe if she kept things slow? After all, she'd gone without sex for a month, although she wasn't sure that using her vibrator didn't count. Her labeled vibrator!

Penny shuddered. Sheldon had labeled it 'Chew Toy'. She had no idea what that meant. Did he think it was something for a dog rather than a woman? Penny had peeled the label off and washed it, before putting it away.

Thinking about her vibrator now made Penny shiver, her feelings conflicted. Okay, she decided, no thinking about vibrators around Leonard. She didn't need to scare him away. Penny knew she could be incredibly pushy and aggressive when there was something she wanted and that a lot of men didn't deal well with an aggressive woman.

Penny opened the door to the apartment and walked over, setting the take out on the coffee table. The last thing that Leonard needed was to try to eat on the stools on the kitchen counter. It would be easier for him to eat on the couch. He could also watch some TV as well.

She stopped to listen a moment, hearing the shower going. She walked back to Leonard's room to check that he wasn't there. His absence meant that he was in the shower. Penny was just happy that he felt well enough to shower. Of course he didn't have his robe, which was still hanging on the hook on the back of Penny's bathroom door. She-

"Penny!"

The urgent cry, so full of need, tore through Penny. Springing into action, she yanked open the door to bathroom and ran inside. She stopped with her hand on the shower curtain, just barely preventing herself from pulling it open and called, "Leonard! What's wrong?"

"I'm okay! I'm okay! I'm okay!"

Leonard's voice sounded extremely stressed as he voiced his repeated assurances. Then Penny suddenly realized that the tone of Leonard's cry hadn't been anything resembling pain, but rather...

Penny let go of the shower curtain like it was red hot. A full body blush heated her from her toes to the top of her head as she realized just what Leonard had been doing in the shower and just who he had been thinking of while doing that in the shower. Her voice cracked as she said, "O-ok-kay. I'll wait outside!"

Penny quickly put the bathroom door between the two of them. Holy crap on a cracker! Leonard had been masturbating in the shower. About Penny! How the hell he had managed that in the shape he'd been in, she didn't have a clue. Penny knew that guys spent pretty much their entire waking lives thinking about sex, but this was ridiculous.

Still red, Penny leaned against the door, fanning her face. Slowly a smile tugged at her lips. Incredibly pervy, but still, in a way, pretty flattering. And it's not like every guy wasn't at least that bad, and most of them, far, far worse. Hell, one of her aunts had chewed out one of her male cousins for doing the same thing to a picture of Penny in her cheerleading uniform. Now that was incredibly pervy. Way worse than Leonard. Certainly not something you wanted to find out about right before a family dinner, either, in front of the entire clan, the way that Penny had found out.

Penny slowly walked back towards the couch and took a seat. Yeah, right. In other ways, it wasn't worse than what Leonard had done, since she hadn't caught her cousin herself _redhanded_. But Penny found herself ready to forgive Leonard pretty much anything. And that wasn't something she really wanted to examine deeply.

Her reverie was interrupted by a voice. "Penny, are you still here?"

The mingled hope and fear in Leonard's voice brought a smile to Penny's face. "Yep."

"Okay."

Nothing happened for another few minutes. Finally, Penny became bored with waiting. "Leonard! You coming out of there anytime soon?"

"You leaving anytime soon?"

"Nope."

"Then no."

"You might as well, I'm not going away."

Dead silence reigned for another minute, before the door finally opened. Leonard stepped out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. He avoided looking at Penny as he stood there. But Leonard's expression wasn't what attracted Penny's attention. Instead, his torso, covered in a horrific pattern of bruises, brought Penny to her feet and she hurried over.

"Oh, Leonard. You look horrible."

She could hear the eye roll in his voice as he muttered, "Thanks."

Penny touched Leonard's chest, making him look back up at her. "Are you okay? Do you want me to give you another rubdown."

Leonard shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea, Penny."

Penny insisted. "You must be in a lot of pain still. More Bengay will help."

"It's okay. Really. I'm not even that stiff anymore."

Oh, that was too easy. Penny grinned wickedly. "Well, you wouldn't be after that shower, would you."

Leonard stared at her in disbelief. "Penny!"

Penny smirked. "Sorry, sorry, but you really didn't expect me to pretend I didn't hear that, did you?"

Leonard nodded jerkily. "Yeah, I really did. Or rather I hoped you would."

Penny shook her head sadly. "Ohhh, Leonard. After we've known each other longer, you'll understand that if there is a chance to embarrass you, or pretty much anyone else, I'm going to jump on that like a bear on honey."

She tugged him towards his room. "Now come on. I'm going to rub you down and then you can have lunch."

"Doesn't sound like I've got much of a choice."

Penny shrugged. "You could always go back into the bathroom and rub yourself there."

"Penny!"

"So bedroom it is."

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard leaned back against the couch after putting down the empty tray of Kung Pao Chicken. "Okay, that was good."

Penny shrugged. "Yeah, not bad. I just followed your recommendation."

Leonard looked at her, startled. "When did I tell you to go to Saipan Palace?"

"When you were settling into a drug induced stupor this morning after breakfast."

Leonard nodded in understanding. "Yeah, that makes sense."

"So you want to watch something on TV?"

Leonard looked at Penny where she was sitting on the couch. It was the first time he'd actually looked at her for more than just a couple of seconds since she'd walked in on him after his orgasm had caused him to shout out Penny's name loud enough to wake the dead. He was struck anew by just how gorgeous she was. If anything, she was prettier than she'd been the first day he'd seen her.

Her blonde hair was curled away from her face. She'd done something with makeup that made her eyes look huge and mysterious. Her lips were soft, pink, and moist. The shorts and tank top she was wearing showed off more than a hint of cleavage as well as the entire length of her tanned legs.

It had been all he could do while he was getting a rubdown wearing nothing but a towel not to repeat the same thing he'd done the evening before, especially when she kept making amusing little comments about boners, woodies, and a plethora of other equally embarrassing things. And he'd kept thinking about seeing her this morning. And her movie. The massage had been torment and when it was finally over and Leonard had been able to get dressed, he had thanked whatever gods there were that he hadn't managed to embarrass himself yet again.

Of course, now he apparently had to keep Penny company, which provided an all new source of torment. Maybe if he put on some science fiction, Penny would get bored and give him a few hours of respite in order for him to pretend he hadn't been caught doing the the most embarrassing thing ever.

"Well, I wouldn't mind watching Firefly."

Penny's face was cutely confused. "Firewhatsis?"

Leonard smiled despite himself. "Firefly. It's a show by Joss Whedon that debuted in 2002. It only ran fourteen episodes, but it was probably the single greatest moment in television history."

Penny gave him a doubtful look. "Greatest moment?"

Leonard smiled at her, then crossed his fingers across his heart. "I swear."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll put it on. But I'm prepared to not like it."

"Okay."

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny*** 


	4. Chapter Four—Firefly and Doubts

**Chapter Four—Firefly and Doubts**

Leonard groaned, his entire body hurting. The two of them had been sitting on the couch in pretty much one position for the last several hours (or 8 episodes, if you prefer) and the Vicodin had pretty much worn off. Penny raised her head where it had been resting on his shoulder.

"Are you hurting, sweetie?"

Leonard fought back a smile, that immediately turned into a grimace as his stomach muscles cramped. "Yes. I think I might need another Vicodin."

Penny sprang up from the couch, hastily wiping her eyes. "I'll go get them."

"Wait a sec, are you crying?"

Penny shook her head, keeping it turned away from Leonard. "No..."

Leonard gaped in disbelief. "You are. You're crying. I didn't know you were liking the show that much."

Penny sat back down and looked at him, visible tear tracks on her cheeks. "It's just some stupid show about these stupid people out in stupid space. But when Mal would rather die than give up his ship and his freedom, it was just so sad and sweet."

Leonard grinned. "Mal, huh?" His grin quickly became a grimace as another cramp happened in his abdomen.

"Yeah, Mal. Now I'll got get you a Vicodin, okay, Jayne?" With that crack, Penny walked off.

Leonard called after her, "Jayne? I should at least be Zoey, right? I mean, she's also a hero, after all."

"Yeah, but Jayne's the one who spent all that time in his 'bunk'."

"Seriously? You had to go there?"

Penny walked back, slim legs moving smoothly. Leonard quickly got his eyes back up to her face as she handed two Vicodin and a glass of water. "Two? I thought that was one too many."

Penny scoffed, "What did I tell you earlier about embarrassing you? Deal. As for the pills, you need to get some sleep and I figure this will knock you out."

Obediently, Leonard took the pills and swallowed them. "Okay, you're probably right." Still, he eyed the hand Penny extended to him dubiously. After so much time on the couch he was seriously stiff and hurting. Unfortunately, Penny wouldn't take no and pretty much pulled him to his feet and half carried him, half dragged him to his room.

"You're stronger than you look."

Penny laughed. "Yeah, yeah. I get that a lot. One time in Junior Rodeo, I roped a calf, dogged it, then when I went to tie up its legs, it got away from me. I tackled it, tied it, and still got a time good enough to qualify for the finals. Which I won. Junior Rodeo Champion."

Leonard goggled as he sat down on his bed. "I never would have figured you for someone so athletic. More the beauty queen type. Miss Nebraska or something."

"Ahh, isn't that sweet. Never got past the Corn Queen's Court, but I was a cheerleader. And general hellraiser. But I blame my dad. He always wanted a boy and never got the hang of raising a girl. So I can tear down a tractor engine, play softball with the best of them, and had the nickname of 'Little Slugger' until I grew breasts when I was thirteen."

"I like how your dad sounds. I wish I had a dad like yours." Leonard knew he was starting to become buzzed. Not that Penny seemed to mind as she pulled his shirt off.

"Yeah, well, you wouldn't have enjoyed it so much if you'd spent as much time grounded as I did. Although you probably would have been the ideal son. I'm sure both of your parents are proud of you."

"Yeah, right. I wasn't the son that either of them wanted, instead, I was a study project for two different research approaches, one psychological, the other, anthropological. I never even got a single hug when I was a kid growing up."

Penny, who had laid Leonard out, and had been pulling off his warm up bottoms, stopped abruptly. "What? What do you mean, you didn't get hugged as a kid?"

Leonard, deaf to any emotional overtones as the Vicodin took full effect, chattered on, "When I was eleven, I built a hugging machine with two mechanical arms, so that it would hug me. I even used an electric blanket so that it would be warm. It used to give the best hugs."

Penny had finished pulling off Leonard's sweat pants in fits and jerks as he spoke. She laid him out on the bed and started to cover him up. Then she sat down next to him. Brushing the hair back from his face, she softly said, "I'm so sorry, sweetie. Here I am bitching about my childhood, when from the sound of it, you went through hell. Did those bastards do anything normal with you?"

Leonard could feel himself drifting. "No. Not really. We didn't do birthdays. And Christmas was a time for research papers, not presents. And this one time, on Easter, my mom sent me hunting for eggs when there weren't any hidden to see how long I'd keep looking. It was June."

The hand on his brow tightened a moment, then continued stroking his hair. "It's okay, sweetie. We'll do all of those things. I promise."

"Penny?"

"Yes, Leonard?"

"Will you stay with me tonight and take care of me?"

"Sweetie..."

"Please?"

Leonard closed his eyes and tried to force himself to go to sleep as he tried to fight off the upcoming rejection. Everything felt hazy, but he was conscious enough to know what he'd asked Penny. He just couldn't control his mouth for some reason.

"Crap. Okay, sweetie. Just tonight. Tomorrow night I have to go to work. Okay?"

"Okay."

Leonard heard the noise of a zipper, then someone slid into the bed next to him and snuggled up against him. Arms slid around him and gently squeezed, pulling him against the warm figure. A fragrant scent filled his nostrils as something soft tickled his chin. A soft voice asked, "How's that for a hug?"

"Wonderful..."

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

"I can't believe you didn't tell us about what happened to Leonard, Sheldon!"

"Yeah, dude, that's not cool. He could be dying."

Sheldon rolled his eyes as he marched up the stairs with Wolowitz and Koothrappali trailing behind him. "I did tell you that Leonard had been injured. What part of getting beaten like a red headed step child did you not understand?"

Rajesh scoffed, "How could anyone understand that? American idioms suck."

Sheldon protested, "Now hold on. I agree that language should not be so facile, but sometimes you can only describe certain atypical situations with idiomatic language which lends itself to quirky meanings. And you can't get more quirky than Leonard standing up to a bully and getting beaten half to death."

Howard made an "Uh!" noise and commented, "You should have just come right out and said Leonard got beat up by a bully. Then we would have known to check up on him. Although not telling us about him standing up to a bully was probably a good idea. That would have made the entire story pretty unbelievable."

"Now, now, Leonard was very brave. Actively suicidal, but brave. Besides, he doesn't need anyone to take care of him. Penny's there."

They'd come to a stop just outside of Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. Howard grabbed Sheldon's arm, then immediately dropped his hand as Sheldon glared at him. "Wait! You mean that hot blonde that was over here taking a shower has been playing nursemaid to Leonard all day? The one from the movie? I wonder if she's wearing a nurse's costume? Maybe a topless nurse's costume."

"All today, all last night. I texted Penny and she picked up food for Leonard and planned to keep him company today. That's why I was free to hang out with the two of you. Plus, I didn't want to have to deal with Leonard. His skin encompassed a nauseating range of colors that I never would have believed could be found in nature until I witnessed it myself."

Howard flexed in front on Raj. "How do I look?"

Raj sneered at him. "Like a hundred pound Jewish midget."

Howard leered at Sheldon. "Maybe she likes hundred pound Jewish midgets?"

Sheldon considered Howard's comment, the responded, "Evidence would suggest she favors men in excess of two meters tall and one hundred kilos with receding foreheads and a penchant for extreme violence. Howard, you are none of those things."

Raj started to open his mouth when Sheldon stopped him. "And Raj, you are none of those and can't talk to women."

Sheldon walked into his apartment and tossed his keys into the bowl by the door. Then he stopped. "Oh no!"

Howard who had followed him in ahead of Raj, asked, "What's wrong, Sheldon?"

Sheldon pointed at the coffee table. "There's empty take out containers in front of the couch! What's wrong with that girl?"

Howard shrugged, "I got it. Sheesh."

Sheldon stalked into the apartment, headed for the kitchen, then stopped abruptly again. "Dear Lord! Dirty dishes!"

Behind him, he could hear Howard gathering up the empty take out cartons to be disposed of. Then Raj walked by him, saying, "Dude, I got the dishes. Calm down."

Sheldon allowed no expression to cross his face as he contemplated his minions going about their tasks in order to make him happy. They were moderately well trained. He wasn't pleased with Penny creating such a mess, but hopefully, she could be trained at least as well as these two. Unfortunately, he was feeling very uncertain about Leonard. Just when he thought he had Leonard figured out, he'd done something so atypical as to create a data spike of epic proportions. Now, Sheldon couldn't be sure that any of the data he'd collected on Leonard was valid. Was his mild mannered, barely scholarly exterior secretly hiding an epic hero? If so, Heroic!Leonard had failed in his first task. Wait, that wasn't entirely true. Heroic!Leonard hadn't failed, rather he'd succeeded in an atypical manner. And perhaps in more than one task, as he managed both the retrieval of Penny's TV and possibly coitus with Penny herself. The entire situation was actually rather mind-bending.

Sheldon walked back to Leonard's bedroom to check on his roommate. After all, despite the text message he'd received from Penny, Leonard could be in any number of states ranging from near death to nearly fine. And the only person who could decide just how Leonard was recovering was himself, Sheldon Lee Cooper.

Sheldon knocked lightly on Leonard's door three times, each time whispering "Leonard. Leonard. Leonard."

When no one answered, Sheldon mentally consulted the roommate agreement, Section 2, Subsection F, Paragraph 3, and decided he needed to go on in and make sure that Leonard was okay. Opening the door, he walked in and approached the bed. Sheldon's eyes narrowed as he realized that there was more to observe than Leonard being asleep, and breathing heavily. Accompanying Leonard's breathing were a series of soft snores, which, along with the mass of blonde hair that half covered Leonard's face, clued him into Penny's presence as well.

Sheldon sadly shook his head and, in deference to his sleeping roommate, whispered, "Coitus, Leonard? Really? How do you make it through the day with that libido? It's a wonder you even have a Ph.D."

Sheldon quickly turned around and left the room, closing the door behind him. He walked back into the living room and noted that the detritus was gone, as were the dirty dishes, and Rajesh and Howard were sitting on the couch (not in his spot), ready to watch Battlestar Galactica.

Howard looked up at Sheldon's approach and asked, "So how is he?"

Rajesh also asked a question, "Yes, is Leonard okay?"

Sheldon briefly formulated his reply, then spoke, "Leonard is asleep. As is Penny. He appears well. Not nearly as bad off as I would have guessed for someone who has engaged in coitus for two days straight while gravely injured. Apparently, Penny is a better nurse than I gave her credit for. Although I can't comment on the quality of the coitus."

The jaws of the two men sitting on the couch dropped lower and lower with every word that Sheldon spoke. Which was, after all, as it should be. Awe was something that he should receive from someone like them. After all, Howard only had a Masters, while Raj was merely an astrophysicist.

"What? How? Why? What? H-"

Sheldon interrupted Howard's apparently endless loop of questions. "You're starting to repeat yourself. If you did hear me, then why are you asking questions? Leonard. Penny. Sleeping. Coitus. You people need everything explained to you in the simplest terms."

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Penny felt herself blushing intensely. Sheldon had woken her up when he'd come in to check on Leonard. For a moment, she'd thought about talking to him, but then he'd said something completely whack-a-doodle, so she'd buttoned her lip and had stayed still.

Sheldon was seriously crazy, after all. After thinking about it, Penny had concluded there was no way she could get involved with someone like Leonard. He so wasn't her type. Penny steadily ignored the little voice at the back of her mind that asked her how well sticking with her 'type' was working out for her. Penny liked guys who were brawny and physical or mysterious and brooding. Not short, nonathletic mathletes who wore their hearts on their sleeves.

It wasn't as if Penny didn't know that Leonard was attracted to her. Pretty much any guy was attracted to her. They'd see blonde hair and it was almost Pavlovian how they reacted. Penny gave herself a mental pat on the back for knowing what "Pavlovian" meant. Penny felt so embarrassed that she'd manipulated him into confronting Kurt for her, talking to him while in the shower. Using her sexuality to twist Leonard around her little finger. It was ugly and so like her that Penny knew she had to change. To stop manipulating people, meaning men, for her own means. It had gotten someone she liked a lot, hurt. And that wasn't something that Penny could allow. But enough about herself. Coming back to Leonard, Penny mused about how he'd been so obvious about his feelings for her. It was sweet, but they were so incompatible that it pretty much impossible for them to be anything but friends.

It didn't help that he was clearly brilliant. Scarily so. Penny wasn't the sharpest person when it came to math and science, but that was one thing that she'd already figured out, as well as the dynamic and power balance between Leonard and Sheldon. Leonard, while indulging Sheldon in a lot of ways, okay, make that a ridiculous amount of ways, had certain bounds beyond which he would not go. And he kept Sheldon from pushing him past those boundaries. At the same time, Leonard was able to drag Sheldon kicking and screaming out of his comfort zone. After all, he'd gotten Sheldon to go with him to Kurt's.

Leonard was also able to follow and understand every bat-shit-crazy thing that came out of Sheldon's mouth. While Sheldon clearly thought himself to be the much smarter of the two of them, it was obvious to Penny that if Leonard _was_ less intelligent than Sheldon, it was by so little that it didn't matter. And he made up for even that by being sweet and quite a bit more socially aware than anyone else in his circle of friends.

Unfortunately, Penny couldn't help feeling intimidated by just how smart Leonard was. If she started a relationship with him, how long would it be before he dumped her, embarrassed by his dumb community college girlfriend who couldn't fit in with his friends and peers where it mattered? No, clearly Leonard needed someone who was far smarter than Penny was, even if that nebulous someone probably wouldn't be as smart as he was himself. But at least she wouldn't embarrass him. For a moment, Penny thought about fixing Leonard up with her friend at the Cheesecake Factory, Bernadette, who was working on her doctorate in micro-something-or-the-other, but shied away for reasons that she'd ignore for now.

The only place that left for Penny in Leonard's life was as a friend. She had a feeling that he would be a good friend to have. Loyal and steadfast, even if a nerd who wanted her to watch weird science fictiony shows with him. Okay, so Firefly was good, but Penny figured that was a fluke. It was like going through a million unfashionable, poorly colored and sized tops on a clearance table that said 90% off, then finding that one perfect top that was incredibly cute and fashionable. And 90% off. Never happens.

So friends. And nothing more. At peace at last, Penny let herself drift off to sleep, ignoring that little niggling doubt at the back of her mind. That little niggle that was perhaps fueled by just how comfortable she felt wrapped in Leonard's arms.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

"So when you say, coitus, you do mean the literal term, right? As in sex. As in Leonard and Penny doing the nasty. Doing the horizontal rhumba. The beast with two backs. The bow-chicka-wow-"

Sheldon tilted his head, looking eerily like a praying mantis as he interrupted Howard, "Yes, coitus. Howard, I can see why you never got your doctorate. You're even more focused on your libido than Leonard is. And he's having coitus. With Penny."

Raj rolled his eyes as he listened to the two of them argue. He weighed in, glad that Penny wasn't in the room, even if she was a flower of loveliness, because he wouldn't have been able to do anything but whisper his sweet nothings in Howard's ear if she had been, "Please stop, Howard. And you, too, Sheldon," he warned as Sheldon seemed prepared to continue. "Now, let us have a civilized conversation without the miasma of perverted nuance towards anything female that Howard brings to the table as well as without the gratuitous insults of Howard's intelligence that you bring to the table."

Simultaneous "Heys!" brought a smile to Raj's lips. Ooohhh, burn. He continued, "Now, if you please, did you speak to Leonard, when you went to check on him?"

Sheldon shook his head. "No."

Perplexed, Raj asked, "Did you speak to Penny when you went to check on him?"

"No."

"I hate to ask this, but did you see the two of them making sweet love?"

"No."

Feeling the need for another eye roll, but deciding it would provoke the big ball of crazy in front of him, Raj asked, "So how do you know that Leonard's all right? Or for that matter, that the two of them are having sex."

"Were they naked? Was Penny naked? Because ever since I've met her, in my mind she's been naked pretty much the entire time. Or getting attacked by an ape in the shower topless. Or, best of all, dressed up like Princess Leia with a collar held my yours truly."

Even Sheldon looked vaguely disturbed at that intimate a glimpse into Howard's thoughts. Still, his voice dripped with condescension as he stated, "They were not having coitus when I walked in. They were merely asleep, cuddling, AND completely covered." This last was clearly aimed at Howard who had opened his mouth, ready for another suggestive comment. Howard's look of disappointment rolled off Sheldon like nanoparticles on a flat graphite surface.

Mystified, Raj asked, "Then why did you act as if you'd caught the two of them having sex? From the description that you gave of how badly Leonard was hurt, it didn't sound as if he'd be able to have sex from a purely physical point of view. I mean, he may be the brawniest of our group, but that doesn't mean much when we consist of a 103 pound Jewish man who still lives with his mother, a stick figure who'd break if he tried to pick up anything heavier than a comic book, and a chocolate prince who's more a lover than a fighter. Maybe they were cuddling for comfort from a cold, cruel world where love is so hard to find..." Starting to making himself depressed, Raj trailed off.

Sheldon weighed in, a tone of thoughtfulness in his words, "Raj, that was actually well reasoned and thought out. I can see why you have a Ph.D. and Howard doesn't. Clearly, I have jumped to conclusions about Leonard and Penny's relationship. Thinking about it further, it is ludicrous that the two of them would be together. Babies that are smart and beautiful my sweet patootie!"

As Sheldon gave his version of a laugh, which was majorly creepy, Howard suggested, "Maybe I should check on Leonard-"

Both Raj and Sheldon interrupted with a simultaneous "No!" making Howard droop. Raj stood up from his seat on the couch and said, "I'm going home. I'll be back tomorrow at 11:00 and hopefully Leonard will be up and I can ask him myself how he is. Howard, you coming?"

Howard, clearly reluctant, his curiosity in Leonard and Penny's relationship in overdrive, allowed himself to be dragged from the apartment. "Okay, but we're meeting back here at 11:00 sharp tomorrow, right? Right, Sheldon-"

Howard was interrupted by the sound of locks clicking into place behind them. Raj just shook his head at Howard's look. He wasn't going there. Raj had decided that Sheldon was a lost cause years ago. Now all he needed to do pick up something light and non-fattening for dinner.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny*** 


	5. Chapter Five-Aftermaths and Misunderstan

**Chapter Five-Aftermaths and Misunderstandings**

Penny stirred from sleep, sensing light. Opening her eyes, she blinked sleepily. Then her eyes took in the sight in front of her. "Leonard, what's up?"

Looking a little abashed, Leonard shrugged. "Nothing. Just woke up a little while ago."

Penny's eyes narrowed. "And what have you been doing since you woke up?"

Softly, "Watching you sleep."

Penny held back the smile that threatened to creep onto her face. "I see. Why were you doing that?"

Leonard shrugged. "Because I like seeing you so peaceful."

Penny smiled despite herself. But she changed the subject anyway, not wanting encourage him after making a decision last night. "How are you feeling?"

Leonard stretched lazily, sitting up slightly. "I still hurt, but I'm not so stiff."

"I'm glad, sweetie. Are you going to be okay to take care of yourself?"

Leonard smiled at her. "What if I said I wouldn't be?"

"Then I'd say tough. Gotta go to work today, Leonard."

"Can you stay for lunch? I'll order pizza. As a thank you for taking care of me."

Penny smiled thoughtfully. She was hungry. And she didn't have to work until 4:00 pm. She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Standing up, she said, "Okay, sure. Pizza sounds great. Thanks, Leonard."

He didn't say anything. Glancing down at him, she saw that he was staring at her. "Something wrong?"

"N-n-no-o..."

Penny turned away and bent over to grab her shorts off the floor. Still bent over, she suddenly froze. "Leonard?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you staring at my ass?"

"Yeah."

Oh God. Penny had forgotten she was wearing just the pair of panties she'd had on under her shorts when she'd crawled into bed with Leonard last night. And they barely covered more than a thong. Then she jumped up, holding her shorts in front of her.

Leonard was staring at her. "Would it help to say that I'm sorry for staring?"

Penny felt her face turning red. Then she straightened her shoulders. She wasn't shy. So what if a guy that she kind of liked had seen her nearly naked. "Not really. Like what you saw?"

This last was said in a challenging tone of voice. Leonard turned such a shade of red that for a moment Penny feared he was going to have a heart attack. Coughing, he stammered out, "Y-yes."

Smirking, Penny quickly put her shorts on and zipped them up. Fastening the button, she quipped, "You're welcome for the show."

"At least as much as I liked your shower scene in the movie you did."

Penny froze. Then slowly looked over at Leonard, seeing him smirking. Horrified, she burst out, "You saw that? How could you? It was never released!"

Leonard shrugged. "Howard found it on the internet about an hour after you left. It was pretty bad, but you were great."

Penny gave him a narrow-eyed look. "You mean my tits were great."

Leonard's nonchalance seemed to be failing as Penny stared at him. "Yeah, maybe, but you were great in it."

Penny shrugged. "Not really. But I refuse to be embarrassed. It may have sucked, and I got exploited for my looks, and my boobs, but I got my SAG card out of it."

Leonard looked down. "I'm sorry for watching it."

Penny shrugged. She had a better handle on what Leonard had been thinking about in the shower the day before since she now knew he'd seen her mostly naked. And she had looked damn good. Also, Penny hadn't lied when she said she wasn't shy. She was also no stranger to exhibitionism. It wasn't as if she hadn't pulled her boobs out for beads a hundred times on Bourbon street a couple of years before. Thousands of guys of guys had seen them there. Maybe more if that camera man had caught her flashing that bar full of guys. Still, it was different having strangers see you than a potential 'friend'. She looked up to see Leonard watching her.

Leonard still looked abashed. "I'm also sorry for staring at you in your underwear."

Penny shrugged again. "It's okay, sweetie. I can't believe I forgot I wasn't wearing my sleep shorts. I guess I just feel that comfortable with you."

Penny froze as she realized what she'd said. Leonard stared at her as he processed what she'd said. Penny needed to get out of there for a bit. She got out, "I'mgoinghometograbashower. Bebackforlunch."

Penny fled out the door and almost ran to her apartment. Why the hell had she said that? She barely knew Leonard. Why the hell would she say something like that to him? Did she really feel that way about Leonard? That comfortable around him?

Penny's thoughts were interrupted as the phone rang. Picking it up, she froze as she saw the caller ID. Her parents were on the other end of the line. Just great. Hitting the talk button, she said, "Hey there."

It was her dad. "Hey, Slugger. I'm glad I finally got through to you. I was a bit worried when I couldn't reach you all day yesterday."

"Sorry, dad, I was busy. How are you and mom?"

"We're fine. And you're changing the subject. I thought you broke up with that Kurt guy."

"Daddy, we did break up. I wasn't with Kurt."

"But you were with someone yesterday weren't you? Who was it?"

"Dad!"

"Slugger."

Penny thought fast. But her mind was a blank. Then her mouth opened of its own accord. "I was with my new boyfriend."

Her dad sighed. "I figured as much. So what is he this time. Biker? Male stripper? MMA fighter? Please tell me he's not another musician."

"He's a doctor. In physics." Penny clapped her hand over her mouth. What the hell had she just said?

"Yeah, yeah. Pull the other one, Slugger."

Penny suddenly felt angry. So, okay, she was lying. But did he have to call her on it like that? Weren't parents supposed to believe their children? Again before her brain could catch up to her mouth, she blurted out, "He is a doctor. Dr. Leonard Hofstadter. He's a particle physicist at Caltech. He's smart and sweet and funny. You can look him up on the internet if you don't believe me."

Her dad sounded surprised as he apologized, "I'm sorry, Slugger. He sounds like a great guy. Have you known him long?"

"Just for a few weeks. Is that all you wanted to talk about?"

"No, your mother wanted to talk to you." There was a moment of silence on the line.

Meanwhile, Penny gave a sigh of relief. She'd dodged a bullet there. Now she just had to have a make believe break up before she saw her parents in at Christmas. It was plenty of time.

"Penny?"

"Hey, mom. How's everybody doing?"

"Fine. You know how it is. Terry is back to cooking. Sarah and Stanley are expecting their third child. Rob's still working at the Safeway. And Mary's getting married."

Penny followed the long ramble about everyone when the last bit made her freak out. "What?"

Her mom started again. "Terry is back to-"

"No! About Mary. She's getting what?"

Her mom sounded pleased. "She's getting married. Sylvester finally came through."

"After only five years and three kids. Who would have guessed?"

"Better late than never. Anyway, the ceremony is in two months. You're going to be the maid of honor."

Penny's brain froze. "Wait, what?"

"Penny, you promised your sister that if she ever got married you'd be her maid of honor. You can't back out of it now."

"I did? When was that?"

"Last Christmas. I'm not surprised that you're having difficulty remember after the all of the beer you had watching that game after lunch."

"Seriously? I made that promise? What did I say?"

"You might have said something about him being a complete piece of shit, but if he ever got off his lazy ass and did the right thing, you'd be her maid of honor to make sure he didn't weasel out. Even if you had to shoot him."

Penny had a dim memory of something along those lines. "Okay, that sounds like something I'd say. But I can't afford to fly there. I'm a little short."

"Don't worry, sweetheart. Your dad has already picked up your ticket. You just have to show up. And you can get to stay for a week."

Penny sighed. A free ticket, but she'd lose a week of tips. Well, it could be worse.

"Oh, and bring that new boyfriend with you. Everyone's expecting to meet him."

"What? How could everybody be expecting to meet him? I just told dad about him."

"And he just told everybody here. The whole family's here to watch the Kansas City/Denver game. They are all looking forward to it. Especially your grandmother."

"Grandma Sweetie? She's there?"

"Yes. So bring Leon or Leonard or whoever and don't break your grandmother's heart. Got it?"

Okay, so it just got worse. Penny did a bit more chit chat then hung up. What the hell was she going to do?

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard finished up his shower and got dressed. While his appearance hadn't significantly changed, the way he felt had. He still hurt, but it wasn't debilitating any longer. Thank God for that. He wasn't looking forward to work tomorrow and all the staring that would occur. How much worse would it be if he could barely hobble around like he'd done yesterday morning?

After dressing, he put in an order for pizza, making sure to order the kind that Sheldon liked as well as some for himself and Penny. He was actually wearing normal clothes today, jeans and a hoodie. Walking out, he barely made it to the fridge before Sheldon ambushed him.

"There you are, Leonard. We need to talk."

Rolling his eyes, Leonard asked, "About what?"

"The Roommate Agreement. You had a girl stay over. On two consecutive nights. Without notice. Section 3, Subsection C, Paragraph 4. Any sleepovers will be held only after 12 hour prior notice given. Penalties are as follows-"

Leonard interrupted, "Wait a minute. That only applies if there is a romantic assignation. Penny staying over was more of a medical situation."

Sheldon raised an ironic eyebrow. "You were sleeping in the same bed. All night. That spells out shenanigans."

"Penny was taking care of me. Unless you can truthfully say that you'd have rather taken care of me, then I say no foul."

Sheldon briefly considered. Then sighed dramatically. "Fine. I'll concede that Penny's presence was better than having to deal with your drama. So no penalties. At least we don't have to deal with her any more today."

"Actually, I invited her for lunch. We're having pizza."

"Leonard! Again? Is this about that beautiful and smart thing? Because I have to tell you that I have been calculating those very odds as a statistical exercise and they make that ice cube's chance in hell look promising."

Leonard smiled as he responded, "Never tell me the odds."

Sheldon gave a weird smile back. "Oh I see what you did there. Huaaa. Very clever. If you actually were Han Solo."

"I dressed as him one Halloween."

"A propensity for good costume choices does not imbue one with the powers of those selfsame costumes. Look at Koothrappali, for example. He dressed as Don Juan the year before last for Halloween. He still couldn't give his order to our waitress at dinner."

"She's still coming over. And don't worry. I'm not going to make a fool of myself over her."

"Jury remains out on that one." Sheldon turned away, muttering, "Han Solo? Seriously? And Penny is supposed to be a blonde Princess Leia? I don't see it. Although Howard apparently can."

Hearing a knocking at the door, Leonard answered it. It was Raj and Howard. The latter who immediately started in on him.

Howard started off with. "So, homie, how're they hanging?" Leaning in he said in a lower tone of voice, "They are still hanging, right? The guy who beat you up didn't rip them off, did he?"

Leonard sighed in exasperation. "And hello to you, too, Howard. Raj." He walked away, leaving the door open for Penny and sat on the right end of the couch, grabbing his phone to add to his order for pizza.

Looking concerned, Raj said, "Dude, what the hell happened? Did you have a psychotic break?"

Leonard finished his phone call and answered Raj who was still looking at his expectantly. "Raj, a psychotic break would not have lead me to risk life and limb confronting Kurt."

Sitting on the chair by the other end of the couch, Howard grinned and said, "I'm still curious if he has testicles."

Leonard realized that he might be a little short tempered for the pain he was experiencing when he yelled at Howard, "Dammit! Yes, I still have testicles! Happy?"

Of course that would be the moment that Penny chose to walk in. She looked both amused and horrified at what Leonard had just said. She quipped, "Leonard, is there something you forgot to tell me about your injuries? Because from what I heard yesterday, your testicles seemed to be working fine."

The ground never opened up and swallowed you when you really wanted it to, Leonard thought morosely before responding, "No." He decided to change the subject and focus the attention on Penny. "Penny, you remember Howard and Raj?"

Penny gave a bored look as she said, "Sure I remember." Pointing at them in succession, she said, "Creepy and crazy. How's it going?"

Raj looked upset at being labeled crazy, but Howard didn't look even slightly discouraged as he got up and bowed to Penny. "Enchante. So what do you do for fun, Penny. Whatever it is, I'm available."

Penny just shook her head. "I stand by creepy. Leonard, did you order lunch?"

"Yeah, the pizza's going to be here in twenty minutes. Why don't you have a seat?"

Penny sat down on the left end of the couch. Leonard tried to immediately get her to move. "No, don't sit there!"

Howard chimed, "Please, please, please move."

Puzzled, Penny asked, "What's wrong with where I'm sitting?"

Leonard begged, "Please, that's Sheldon's spot."

Penny asked, "Sheldon has a spot? Is that weird? Cause it sounds kinda weird."

Waving his hands around, Howard begged, "Please just move. You don't want to disturb the Sheldon."

Looking a bit irritated, Penny asked, "What is wrong with you guys? Oh, hi, Sheldon."

Leonard looked up to see Sheldon staring at Penny. Oh boy, he thought, here we go.

"Leonard, she's in my spot."

Penny, apparently trying to make a amends for whatever imagined slight had taken place, smiled and patted the spot between her and Leonard. "Sit here next to me, sweetie."

Sheldon had a blank expression on his face as he continued as if Penny hadn't spoken. "That's my spot. You're sitting in my spot."

Penny asked again, "What's the difference?"

Outraged, Sheldon responded, "What's the difference?"

It was Howard who moaned what the rest of them were thinking, "Here we go."

Sheldon, like he was trying to inform a particularly stupid primate, sneered slightly as he went off on one of his rants, "In the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer it's directly in the path of a cross breeze created by open windows there, and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide to create a parallax distortion, I could go on, but I think I've made my point."

Leonard caught Penny's eye and patted the seat next to him. "Please sit here, Penny. Before his head explodes. Because if it does, I'll have to clean it up."

Penny rolled her eyes and moved over a spot, her leg pressing against Leonard's. "How's that? Happy now?"

Both Leonard and Sheldon both replied at the same time, "Definitely." "I'm not unhappy."

Penny turned towards Leonard. "You promised me pizza. It had better be here soon."

Leonard couldn't help notice that Penny was sitting closer to him than she really needed to. He was wondering if it was because she liked him or was worried about Sheldon going psycho. Regardless, he reassured her. "It will. I promise."

Penny just shook her head. "So are there any other faux paux's I should avoid with Sheldon?"

Leonard caught the affronted look on Sheldon's face as he turned his head towards Penny. Trying to head this one off, he said, "Too many to mention."

Howard chimed in, "Really. Far, far too many to mention."

Sheldon complained, "I don't know why you're all picking on me. I'm the height of rationality. Really, I'm a joy."

Penny inched another tiny bit further into Leonard's space. Okay, so it was probably the psycho Sheldon theory that was causing it, but he was just going to enjoy it for now. Luckily Penny had found another subject for her attention. "So, Raj, you really can't talk to women? Seriously?"

Raj just shook his head. Penny looked at Leonard. "Nice friends you have, Leonard."

Leonard could see the amusement in Penny's eyes which was at odds with her words. He smiled at her, receiving an involuntary smile back. He just shrugged in answer though. It wasn't as if he could defend any of them really. To any outsider, his friends looked like basket cases. And they probably were. But they were his basket cases. Unfortunately, Leonard's silence left the floor open for Howard to talk.

With a smarmy smile, Howard asked, "So Penny, what do you do? Besides sit there and be beautiful?"

Penny just shook her head. "Cheesy, Howard. But to answer your question, I'm an actress."

Sheldon pounced on that. "Wait a minute! You said you were a waitress. At the Cheesecake Factory. Now you're an actress? This shilly shally needs to stop. So which is it?"

Penny reached down and squeezed Leonard's leg as if trying to draw strength. "I wait tables for a living if you can call it that. My goal in life is to become an actress. So I go to acting classes, do occasional theater, and go to a lot of auditions."

Leonard smiled. "That sounds amazing." He decided to risk it and asked, "Have we seen anything you might have been in?"

Penny gave him a knowing look and shrugged. "Not unless you saw the over the garage version of Rent my acting class did last year."

Leonard gave her contrite look. "Sorry, I missed that. Why don't you let me know the next time you're in something and I'll be sure to check it out."

Howard leaned forward. "We'll all check you... I mean it, out."

Penny moved another inch into Leonard's space as she said, "Oh, yay."

At least Howard apparently wasn't going to bring up seeing Penny naked on the internet. Which, for him, was a step forward. Instead he was just going to try to make sure Penny didn't eat lunch with them again.

The knocking at the door drew Leonard's attention. Oh thank God, he thought. Aloud he said, "Pizza's here!"

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***


	6. Chapter Six—Didn't See That Coming

**Chapter Six—Didn't See That Coming**

Leonard trudged down the hall to his office. He was glad to finally be back at work even if he was going to have to review that huge data sequence he'd been running the last few weeks. At least he wouldn't have to be moving stuff around too much. He still hurt quite a bit and the last thing he needed was to have to be moving equipment around.

It might not have been so bad if Leonard could have taken a Vicodin, but Sheldon had informed him that he was not getting into any car driven by someone on drugs. So ibuprofen it had been. Maybe he should have brough them here so that he could taken one if the aches and pains got out of control. Oh well, he could always do it tomorrow.

Leonard was just about to unlock his lab door when he was ambushed by Kripke.

"Hofstadwer."

"Kripke."

"Hawe you heawd? About Dawid Undwehill?"

"No, I was busy this weekend. What's up?"

"Ooowwwhh, Hofstadwer, you were so owned. Chweck it out on Scwience dwot com."  
With that, Kripke left. Leonard was beginning to think this was going to be a bad day. Thirty minutes later, he knew it was going to be a terrible day. It was all David Underhill's fault. Dr. David Underhill was a MacArthur Genius Grant recipient and a very successful physicist, whose observations of high energy positrons had just provided the first conclusive evidence for the existence of galactic dark matter. And so Leonard had twenty thousand data runs worth of uselessness. As three more of his colleagues had found the time to swing by Leonard's lab and point out.

How was it possible? Staring at Dr. Underhill's elegant proof, Leonard couldn't refute the math. It looked perfect and made him feel stupid. But he'd seen something in the data. Something that niggled at his brain until there were times that Leonard felt like he was going to go insane thinking about it. Still, he wondered, what was the point? His work was made both worthless and superfluousness by Underhill.

Screw it. Leonard had been raised to press forward and not to give up no matter how difficult things became. It was probably the only positive thing he could take from his childhood. It had let him stand there when he'd been subtly mocked by his mother and father and less so by his brother and sister, whenever one of his papers or projects had been less than well received. He'd just done better the next time. Then better still the time after that.

Leonard pulled up the data and printed out the huge mass of runs, sticking with the raw data for now. Slowly he covered every available surface with information, until his lab was encompassed in white computer paper. To prevent interruptions, he walked over and locked his door.

Otherwise, he'd probably have all of the three amigos stop by, as well as Leslie Winkle and who knows who else, each interrupting him and destroying his train of thought, just as Kripke and his posse of doomsayers had done.

Leonard put on noise canceling headphones and made sure he couldn't hear anything other than the steady pulse of blood through his auditory canals. Then he set to work. Number crunching. Massaging the data. Trying to make sense of the enormous mass of information he'd accumulated. "Don't think about Underhill, Hofstadter," he told himself. "Focus on the data and only the data."

For hours he ran various normalization methods on the data, but the returns were trash, everything that made sense washed away. What he needed was a big data analytic tool adapted specifically for the raw data he had. But nothing of that nature existed. And it would take several weeks or longer to write one. Time he didn't have. No, none of these methods was going to work. He was going to have to use his own mind to figure this out.

Leonard cleared his thoughts and just stared at the data in front of him. What was it that he'd seen glimpses of while conducting this experiment? What hidden reality had niggled at his brain and kept him up at night? It was there, Leonard could feel it. Hiding in the data. Somewhere.

Leonard pulled his glasses off, a headache beginning to pound his skull into mush. He walked over to his bag and grabbed some ibuprofen and took ten, swallowing them down with water. It was bad for his liver, but at the moment, he didn't care. Leonard needed focus and concentration and a headache would diffuse both of them. Now why didn't the data of this section make sense?

After another hour, Leonard realized by the growling of his stomach that he'd missed lunch. He grabbed his emergency stash of granola bars and ate three of them, washing them down with a Red Bull. Then another. He returned to work.

There was something. Why couldn't he see it? It was there. Absently Leonard picked up the phone and called Raj, leaving a message asking him to take Sheldon home. It was there. He could feel it, like a worm in his brain, wriggling around, irritating him, but still hidden in the depths.

After another three hours, Leonard snapped. He grabbed the stapler off his lab table and threw it into the wall hard enough to break it into pieces. He began to curse. "Mother fucker! Goddammit to hell! Fuck! Shit! Fuck! Shit! Bitch! Fuck!"

Winding down, Leonard paced restlessly. This wasn't him. He didn't get frustrated like this. He also didn't try to do these long periods of focusing all his attention on a problem while going without sleep and food. That was Sheldon's methodology. Not Leonard Hofstadter's. But it was there. The answer was there. He knew it was there. And if he left, all of his progress would be gone. It would vanish in sleep like a dream you couldn't quite remember, but haunted you nevertheless.

Leonard wondered if his approach was all wrong. He'd been examining small sections of data at a time. Maybe that wouldn't work. Maybe...

Leonard slowly walked the lab, reading down the long lists of results. It took an hour to go over the entire thing. Then he did it again. Then again. After the fifth time, something was staring to make sense. After the tenth, it began to coalesce out of the aether. It took until the twentieth before Leonard truly saw it.

With trembling fingers, Leonard began to write feverishly on the white board that he had ready. There were starts and stops, and three times he had to walk the data again after a particularly difficult variable tried to trip him up. But it was there. The data gave him the answer again and again. When Leonard finished the last iteration and made the last mark on the board, he was done. Drained, he sat down.

Leonard stared at the equation written down on the board. He felt tears begin to run down his cheeks. It was like staring into the face of God and he felt blinded by the truth and beauty before his eyes. Furiously he blinked tears away. He was right. He almost couldn't believe that he was right. Leonard had just proven that the approach to dark matter was completely wrong. It wasn't what he'd set out to prove. That now seemed trivial in comparison. But the data was about more than his initial trivial hypothesis. Maybe he'd been inspired by Dr. Underhill. Maybe he had seen it all along. Regardless, this was the true basis for the existence of dark matter. And it was likely a Nobel Prize, both sitting there on his board and in the heaps of paper that covered every surface.

God, what time was it, Leonard wondered, wincing when he realized it was almost 6:00 am. Yet despite all of that, he wasn't really tired. He felt as light as air as he stood there. Maybe Red Bull really gives you wings, he thought. He'd probably crash soon, but in the meantime he began to gather up paper, thinking about the future.

Leonard would need to keep this a secret for now. The last thing he could afford was for this information to get out early. And he would need to repeat the data runs, a daunting task both from a physics standpoint and a social standpoint as he would be ridiculed by everyone as soon as they realized that he wasn't going to stop his "disproven" experiment. But he would have to persevere. Despite everything. And as quickly as possible.

Leonard carefully wrote down the equation he'd come up with in several different note books, depositing three of them into the safe in his lab and putting the last one in his bag. He'd put that one into a safety deposit box along with a thumb drive containing the raw data as a just in case back up. The others would be fine in the lab as it was unlikely that anything would happen to them.

So, first repeat the data runs. Next, write up a flawless paper demonstrating his theory with all of the supporting evidence. And no math mistakes, remembering a particularly embarrassing addition error on a published paper. Finally submit the paper to various scientific journals, to Dr. Gablehauser, the new head of the Physics Department he'd yet to meet, and finally to President Siebert, who'd never forgive him if he didn't get a heads up on something of this magnitude.

Leonard could feel fatigue starting to erode his thought processes. It was at times like this that he really wished he had people working for him. But it was either an assistant and a couple of grad students, or it was three pieces of equipment without which he couldn't do what he did. His grant simply wasn't large enough for both. Still, with his success here, with the limited resources available, it made it that much more impressive an accomplishment. However, pride could wait until he had a hot shower and some breakfast. And with that, he finished cleaning up and set off for home.

* * *

_Two weeks later..._

Penny grabbed her mail from her box. Glancing up, she noticed Sheldon coming in. "Hey Sheldon, how're you doing?"

He gave her a martyred looked. "Penny, my life is a catastrophe."

Penny felt instant sympathy as someone who shared that condition. She still hadn't figured out how she was going to figure out the situation with her family and her mythical boyfriend. "Oh, sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Oh, how I could go on and on about how incredibly inconvenienced I have been. How I have had to get up early, the horror, and catch rides home with Raj. I have had ride the bus twice this past week, once without my buspants. And I haven't been able to play Halo night, vintage-game night, or-"

Penny interrupted him, sensing where this was going, "Is this because Leonard's working crazy hours right now?"

Sheldon gave her a look like a dog who had just learned to speak. "It is exactly because Leonard has cruelly and callously decided to change his routine, thus changing mine. The universe is in chaos!"

Penny rolled her eyes and began to trudge up the stairs next to her whack-a-doodle neighbor. "I'm sure that Leonard didn't mean for his work to inconvenience you."

"Didn't he? Didn't he? I don't know how you could have come to that conclusion. My own is diametrically opposite."

Penny just shook her head. "Besides, how much more can he be working? He's always here by 7:30 or so for dinner."

"Which you eat at our house and which he buys you."

Penny felt a little niggle of guilt at what Sheldon was implying. "Are you implying that I am using Leonard to buy me dinner."

Sheldon looked interested. "I wasn't actually. But I can see why you would think that since it's true."

Penny felt insulted. It wasn't true. Mostly. "Then what exactly are you implying?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes at her, which was wrong on so many levels. "I'm not implying anything. What I'm saying is that Leonard, despite working himself nearly to death these last two weeks, always manages to make it home in time to eat the food that I have ordered and that either Raj or Howard has picked up. Your freeloading has no meaning in this context other than if you weren't here, then Leonard wouldn't bother to make the effort to come home at that time. Somehow I just know that all of this is your fault."

Despite her shock at Sheldon's revelations, Penny defended herself. "This isn't my fault!" She decided not to think about Leonard making time out of what was apparently a ridiculously busy schedule to spend with her even if it was something as trivial as eating dinner together and focused instead on Sheldon's other revelations. "Wait, just how much time is Leonard spending at work?"

Sheldon corrected her. "It's not solely how much time he's spending at work, but rather that after spending twelve hours at work, Leonard then proceeds to spend another four to five hours working in the apartment."

Penny was flabbergasted. "When? How? When?"

"The how I cannot address, but the when is from two to seven am."

With that schedule, Leonard couldn't be sleeping at all. "But why? Why is Leonard working so hard?"

Sheldon pontificated as he spoke, "I can only speculate here. But I think it has something to do with his work of the last four months being made irrelevant and worthless by David Underhill's brilliant work with dark matter. We've mocked him incessantly. It's a hoot and a half."

Penny felt that she was finally getting somewhere with Sheldon and it sounded as if Leonard was going through a bad patch. Seeking confirmation, Penny asked, 'You mean that Leonard has been going through a crisis at work and you didn't tell me? The entire time he's been hurting, you haven't supported him and have been making fun of him. All of you?"

Sheldon apparently was finally starting to understand that he was in trouble and responded, "Did you get the part where it was a hoot and a half?"

Penny corrected him. "I got the part where you were a dick to your friend when he was going through a difficult time."

They'd finally gotten to their floor and Sheldon looked ready to flee to the safety of his room. Penny grabbed his arm, resisting the urge to smack the crap out of him. "So where is Leonard? At work? How do I get there?"

Sheldon looked scared by the hand that was still holding his arm. "Finding out where Leonard works wouldn't do you a bit of good. He's been locked in there and is using noise canceling headphones to make sure he isn't interrupted. You'd need to use an axe to bust down his door to get to see him."

Penny resisted mentioning that she knew how to use an axe and could probably chop down both Leonard's door and Sheldon's body. Instead, she said, "Fine. I'll talk to him tonight. He is going to be at dinner, right?"

"Again, I can only speculate-"

"Sheldon!"

He flinched and shouted, "He'll be there!"

Penny stared off into space as she thought about Leonard. She was worried about him. She could definitely understand how devastating it could be to have to deal with a career crisis like this. Her acting career had been steadily looking less and less likely to be successful and she'd set herself the goal of at least a national commercial by this time next year or she was giving up. Not that Penny knew what else she could do, but it couldn't be acting. Sometimes you had to cut your losses, like she'd done with Kurt.

"Penny?"

"What?"

"Can you let go of my arm now?"

"Okay."


	7. Chapter Seven—Favors

**Chapter Seven—Favors**

Leonard slowly trudged up the stairs, wishing, and not for the first time, that he lived on the first floor. The last two weeks had been beyond brutal. Seventeen hour days. Redoing twenty thousand data runs. His aching body nearly betraying him as he hurt so bad when he had to set up the experiments and run them all again. But it was over. He was done.

The data was so close to the original runs he'd made that Leonard knew he'd confirmed his equation. Still, he needed to crunch the information just like he'd done the first time. Then run it through the equation. Just to make sure. Then he could start writing the paper that should provide him with a huge boost to his career as well as advancing science. That idea brought a tired smile to Leonard's face. Finally, he was on his floor. He was about to unlock the door to his apartment when he heard a voice behind him.

"Leonard?"

Turning, Leonard saw the girl of his dreams, in this case literally, as he'd had a variety of vivid dreams starring Penny, standing by her open door, an expectant look on her face. "Hey, Penny."

Penny fidgeted a little, twisting her hands together before bounding forward. "Can I talk to you for a second? And ask you a favor?"

Talk? Another favor? Leonard's tired brain couldn't process the words. After a moment, he understood and allowed a slow smirk to creep onto his face. Leonard so owed her for the teasing he'd undergone a couple of weeks ago and occasionally since then about his 'shower time.' And Penny had just made it so easy. So, Leonard took a couple of steps and closed the distance with Penny. Penny seemed to suspect something as she seemed to lean away from him. Smiling, Leonard asked, "So will you explaining this favor from the shower? Cause I could definitely get into that."

Penny's mouth opened and closed like a fish. "Leonard! That was terrible!" Seeing Leonard grin at her dragged a reluctant smile to her face. "Okay and a little funny. But no. There'll be no showering. Just the couch. If you would come with me?"

Leonard nodded as he trudged towards Penny's apartment. "Sure, sure."

Once there, they both settled onto Penny's couch. Then Penny popped up, asking, "Can I get you something to drink? I know you're about to eat, but I'm sure you could use a nice glass of wine? Or Red Bull?"

Leonard leaned back against the couch, closing his eyes. "Sure, a glass of wine would be great."

Leonard could hear Penny moving around the kitchen as she opened a bottle and started to pour. Then the darkness that was so seductive beckoned and Leonard fell into the abyss.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Penny finishing pouring the two glasses of wine and fidgeted a moment before putting the bottle back in the fridge. The last thing she needed to do was to drink to excess again. So just one glass tonight. Turning back to Leonard, Penny carried the glasses back to the couch and said, "So what I wanted to talk to you about, Leonard, was something that my parents brought up a couple of weeks ago. Also, Sheldon told me today... Rats!"

Leonard was asleep on her couch, his mouth open and a little drool staining his shirt. He looked so pale and drawn that Penny instantly felt protective of him. She sat beside him and took a sip of wine as she examined his face. Penny could admit to herself that she was worried about him. Leonard had obviously been abusing his body and the remnants of bruises that still showed as pale orange and black colors just beneath his skin made his look even more vulnerable.

Penny took another drink of wine, this one larger, almost draining the glass. So much for just one glass, she mused as she contemplated the other that sat on the table in front of Leonard. Quietly, she called, "Leonard? Are you asleep, sweetie?"

A faint snort answered her. Yeah, Leonard was down for the count. So Penny had wasted all of the time she'd spent girding her loins to ask him to come with her to her parents' house for her sisters wedding. Now she had to do it again, possibly tomorrow. In the meantime, she needed to figure out what she was going to do with Leonard.

He couldn't spend the night on her couch. If he did, he'd be stiff and sore tomorrow, Penny's couch not being the most comfortable of furniture. No, she was going to have to put him in her bed. Penny ignored the faint voice whispering in the back of her mind that this was a bad idea if she was going to be just friends. But she couldn't drag him all the way to his apartment. Hell, just getting Leonard from the couch to her bed was going to be tough. No, getting him all the way across the hall was completely out of the question.

Penny rapidly drank the rest of the wine, draining both glasses, before standing up. She leaned down and put her arms around Leonard's waist beneath his arms. Then she heaved. Okay, he was lighter than she'd thought. Penny was able to get moving and slowly walked Leonard across the living room and into her bedroom. From there, it only took her a moment lay him across her bed. Penny pulled off Leonard's shoes, then spent a moment undecided about the rest. Okay, maybe his pants and his shirt. Once both those were off, Penny felt like she'd gone three rounds with a particularly stubborn calf at the rodeo. She tugged on Leonard until he was more or less lined up and his head was on a pillow, then pulled up her sheets and blanket to cover him.

Now where was she going to spend the night? Penny felt a smile tugging at her mouth as she contemplated getting into bed next to Leonard. She really shouldn't have had that second glass of wine as she stared at his face. She knew that she should spend the night on the couch, but she really didn't want to sleep on that ridiculously uncomfortable piece of furniture any more than she'd wanted Leonard on it. Penny ignored the little voice that asked her how much Leonard being in her bed influenced her decision. Certainly she'd enjoyed the two nights she'd spent in his arms a couple of weeks ago. But this was just about comfort, and nothing else.

Penny's thoughts were interrupted by someone at her door.

Knock. Knock.

"Penny."

Knock. Knock.

"Penny."

Knock. Knock.

"Penny."

Penny grabbed her door and pulled it open to reveal Sheldon standing on the other side. "Why are you knocking three times, Sheldon? It's a small apartment."

Sheldon didn't acknowledge her question, instead launching into why he'd come by. "Leonard's missing. Howard saw his car in the lot when he drove up after picking up take out. But Leonard's not in our apartment. He's also not in the laundry room, or across the street at the convenience store."

Penny waved a hand airily. "Don't worry about Leonard, he's here."

Sheldon looked over her shoulder. "Where? I don't see him."

"He's asleep, Sheldon. In my bed."

"Well, wake him up! It's vintage game night and he promised to play this time. I'm holding him to it."

Penny frowned at the big ball of crazy in front of her. He really didn't get it. "Sheldon, Leonard's exhausted. I'm not waking him up to play video games with you."

"But you have to! It's vintage game night! Leonard! Leonard! OW!"

Sheldon rubbed his arm where Penny had just punched him. "You hit me!"

"And there's plenty more where that came from. You see, Sheldon, here on planet Earth, we don't go into our neighbor's apartments and start yelling. You big ball of crazy!"

Sheldon's face took on a mulish expression. "I'm not crazy. My mom had me tested."

Penny took a threatening step forward. "And I'm not violent. Oh wait, I _am_!"

Penny rolled her eyes as Sheldon beat a hasty retreat, his door slamming after him. She shut and locked her door, including the chain, just in case Leonard had left her key laying around his place instead of keeping it on his key chain like he'd promised. The last thing she needed was any more visits tonight.

Penny glanced at the fridge with its bounty of wine thoughtfully, then resolutely shook her head and decided against it. The last thing she needed was to lower her inhibitions any more than she'd already done tonight. She caught herself yawning and eyed the door to her room. Okay so bed it was. Feeling surprisingly cheerful despite another Friday night at home, Penny turned out the lights and got ready for bed. After all, she mused, there was already a guy in her bed so there was no need to go trolling for another in a crowded bar.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard was having the best dream. It was clearly a Penny dream because he had a faceful of fragrant blonde hair. And an armful of Penny, soft, warm, and delectable. Breathing deeply of her scent and grinding lightly against her, Leonard slid the hand resting on her stomach up to cup a soft, warm breast. Kneading it gently, he was just about to do something else when a voice interrupted him.

"Leonard, do you always cop a feel when you wake up in a girl's bed or is just me?"

Leonard released his grip and sat upright in bed, staring around wildly, the world a huge blur around him. "What the hell?"

Where were his glasses? Then someone handed them to him and he pulled them on, the world again coming into focus. Of course the first thing he saw was a smiling Penny, looking sleep tousled and good enough enough to eat.

"Wha-a-at's going on?"

Penny stretched like a cat, her arms going far over her back with her chest on prominent display. "You fell asleep on my couch last night."

"Oookay." So how did he get from Penny's couch to her bed? Leonard knew that he'd been tired, but surely not that tired? He sent Penny an inquiring look.

"I couldn't just leave you there. It's uncomfortable."

"How did I get from there to here? I don't remember anything."

Penny looked hurt. "What? You don't remember our night of passion? How could you, Leonard?"

Leonard was completely flabbergasted. He'd slept with Penny? And didn't remember? All that came out was, "Passion? Wha..."

With a bright smile, Penny punched him in the arm. "Fooled ya. Told you I was an actress. Trust me, if there had been a night of passion, you wouldn't have forgot."

That, Leonard could believe. "You live to torture me, don't you?"

Penny slid out of bed. She was wearing a sexy little tank top and sleep shorts with "Hello Kitty" emblazoned across her bottom. Leonard somehow kept from licking his lips at the sight. "Nope, that would be Sheldon. I just live to tease you."

Suddenly, Leonard remembered something. "Hey, I suddenly remembered something from last night. Was there some kind of favor you wanted to ask me?"

Leonard heard the water running for a second in the bathroom, then Penny came back out and slid back into bed, pressing herself up against Leonard. Amazingly expressive green eyes looked up at him. "Yes, I do. But you can say no."

Leonard gave her an ironic grin. "Right, like I'm going to say no to a girl in bed with me. That'll happen."

Penny gave him a relieved look. "Okay, but it's a big one."

Leonard smiled. "How big could it be?"

"I need you to come with me to my sister's wedding and pretend to my family to be my boyfriend."

Leonard's brain froze for a second. She wanted him to what? Finally, he found his voice. "You want me to what?

Her face was pleading, which almost made him say yes without even asking questions. Leonard listened as Penny repeated herself. "Pretend to be my boyfriend for my sister's wedding. Please, Leonard, they're all expecting you."

Who was expecting him? That didn't sound good. Leonard gave her a stern look. "Penny, what did you do?"

Her eyes avoided his as she said, "I might have told my dad that I had a new boyfriend after he gave me a hard time on the phone. And that his name was Leonard. And he was a physicist. But that's all."

Leonard was stunned. That was all? "Why? Why would you tell them that? Especially when you knew you had to go to a wedding."

"Okay, Mr Smarty-pants, for your information, I mentioned it before I knew about the wedding. Look, my dad was giving me a hard time about dating losers and he was right. God, I hate it when he's right. So I threw out my imaginary perfect boyfriend."

Leonard preened slightly. "So I'm perfect? Imagine that."

Penny patted him on the chest. "Only on paper, sweetie. Anyway, now I need a date."

Resigned, Leonard asked, "Where and when?"

"Omaha and from November 3rd through the 11th. "

"Omaha? Nebraska? Penny, you seriously expect me to fly out to Nebraska for a wedding."

Penny gave Leonard a weak smile. "And here I thought you'd be much more upset about staying there for over a week."

Leonard froze, thinking over what had been said. "A week? Are you out of your min-"

Leonard stopped at the look on Penny's face. She looked like she was about to cry. He reached up and cradled her cheek. "I'm sorry, Penny. I'm not mad. Not really. But-"

Penny sat up, moving away from Leonard. She drew her knees up and laid her head there. "I shouldn't have asked you like this. I know that you like me and I was using that to manipulate you. I'm a total bitch."

Leonard reached over and stroked Penny's back. And came to a decision. "I'll do it."

Penny's head came up and she gave him a tentative smile. "You will?"

Leonard nodded. "On one condition."

Penny smile radiantly. "Name it."

Leonard looked her squarely in the eye as he spoke, "That we pretend to everyone around us to be boyfriend and girlfriend for the next six weeks."

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Penny could feel the smile leaving her face as Leonard's demand penetrated. She stared a him and then, in a neutral tone of voice, said, "Leonard, I'm not sleeping with you just to get a date for my sister's wedding."

Leonard gave her a completely inappropriately naughty grin which actually for just a second made Penny reconsider what she'd just said. The argument could be made that she'd slept with guys for worse reasons. But his answer was far more prosaic that her thoughts. Grin fading, he said, "Penny, I'm not asking you to sleep with me. But unlike you, I am not a professional actor. You get me out to Omaha meeting the family, and I am going to screw up. Big time. I figure we can practice pretending to be dating. If we can fool our friends, we have at least a shot at fooling your family. And you don't have to sleep with me." Then that flirty grin came back and he teased, "Although, if you want to practice that as well, I won't say no."

At least this was safe territory. Penny put a hand on Leonard's chest and said, "Down, boy."

She thought about everything Leonard had just said and it all made sense. Penny had doubted her plan from the start, but now thought that it might just work. She ignored that little voice that told her that she wanted to try this regardless of any wedding. After all, she and Leonard were friends, weren't they? And friends helped each other all of the time, didn't they?

Penny met Leonard's inquiring glance and nodded. "I agree to your terms. We can start practice dating today."

Leonard grinned at her. "Okay. So lunch together?"

Penny quickly thought. "Sure, that will give me time to take a shower and wash my hair."

Leonard's grin grew. "Need any help washing your back?"

Penny playfully swatted him, ignoring that little voice inside of her. "You wish. Now scoot! Come back in a couple of hours."

Even after Leonard left, Penny couldn't stop the smile that kept creeping onto her face. It was probably just relief that everything was working out so well. Yes, that was definitely it. Relief.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard was humming as he walked out of his bedroom. He wasn't sure how well his plan was going to work, but he had hope. If he hadn't been so busy the last two weeks, he'd have tried something earlier. Now that Penny had practically thrown this into his lap, he didn't even have to come up with a scheme of his own. Instead, all he had to do was show her that the two of them could be good together. And the first step was to get back out of the friends zone she had placed them in.

Leonard checked a stack of mail and saw a notice from The Society of Applied Physics. Opening it, he quickly perused it, noting that it was the second notice requesting that he and Sheldon give a presentation on their paper on "Paradoxical Moment-of-Inertia Changes Due to Putative Super-Solids."

He called out, "Sheldon, did you know that SAP wants us to give a presentation on our paper?"

Sheldon came out of his room at a run. "Good, Leonard, you're back. Just in time for kite fighting with Rajeesh, Howard, and I."

Leonard gave him a disbelieving stare before saying, "Don't change the subject. When were you going to tell me about this?"

Sheldon gave the letter Leonard was holding a flat stare. "I wasn't. I destroyed the other one. That one must have gotten sorted with your mail by mistake. Now, enough of this tish tosh, get your kite."

Leonard just shook his head. "I'm not going kite fighting. And I am doing a presentation on this paper."

Sheldon shook his head. "I forbid it. And what do you mean you're not going kite fighting? We planned it. It was planned."

"YOU forbid it? What planet are you from? You can't forbid it. And I'm going out to lunch with Penny."

"I am lead author. It was my idea. Ergo, it was my paper. I forbid pandering to lessor minds. Penny again, Leonard? Must she ruin everything?"

"I am second lead. I planned and designed the experiment. And conducted it. And provided the results. Ergo, I'm giving the presentation. And apparently, she must."

By this point each of them had their arms crossed over their chests and were glaring at the other. Leonard fancied that his glare was a bit fiercer than Sheldon's, even if only because he'd faced physical violence most recently and survived. It was into this tableau that Penny entered.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Penny knocked once, then walked on into Leonard's apartment. With amusement, she watched as Leonard and Sheldon had some kind of weird confrontation before Leonard broke it off, turning to her.

He smiled at her and apologized, "Am I late? I'm sorry."

Penny had moved to stand next to him. She shook her head. "Nah. I'm actually early. Go figure. What's going on here?"

Sheldon started to blabber, but Leonard shshed him, increasing her admiration for him. "Sheldon and I are disagreeing about doing a presentation. At this point, we're just agreeing to disagree."

Penny leaned against Leonard in interest. "What kind of presentation?"

Leonard gave her a grin, clearly enjoying their closeness. "It's on super-solids. And it's to the Society of Applied Physics."

Penny felt excited for him. "Is that a big deal? It sounds like a big deal."

Sheldon's "No." was overshadowed by Leonard's "Yes."

Penny smiled at Leonard's excitement as he expounded, "It is, kinda. These are our colleagues, our peers, and oftentimes our coworkers. Presenting at events like this are major steps towards getting exposure in our field, additional grants, and eventually tenure."

"Which is exactly why we shouldn't do it. Who are they to judge me? You, I can see judging, but me? I have no peers. No equals. That's why-"

Penny counted herself lucky when Creepy and Crazy chose that moment show up interrupting the whackadoodle.

Upon spotting Penny, Raj waved a silent greeting, while Howard bellowed out, "Hello, my homies!" To Penny, Howard said, "And my Lady. Greetings from those who are about to go kite fighting." He made a couple of weird kung fu gestures for emphasis.

Sheldon shook his head. "Sorry, Howard, but we can't go. Leonard has other plans."

Howard looked flabbergasted. "Other plans. Other plans? What other plans can you have that are even a tenth as important as fighting a kite?"

Leonard matter-of-factually stated, "Penny and I are going to lunch."

Howard's jaw dropped. "Seriously? Like a date? It's not a date, is it?"

He leered at her when he said it, so Penny decided to shut him down before he hit on her again. She nodded and said, "Yes, a date, Howard. Leonard and I are dating. Got that through that little midget skull?"

Penny ignored the spit take that Raj had done and Howard's "Leonard, you lucky bastard" as she grabbed Leonard's arm and tugged him towards his room. He had a silly grin on his face as he said, "I like take-charge Penny. Very sexy."

Then he seemed to realize where they were. "Why are we in my bedroom? We're not going to-"

Penny swatted him. "No. Get your mind out of the gutter. I don't think there's room for you there with Howard already taking up so much space."

Leonard nodded, amused. "So why are we here."

Penny sighed. "Sweetie, you know I care about you, right?"

"Oh My God! You're fake breaking up with me!" Leonard's smirk betrayed his lack of seriousness.

Penny suppressed an answering grin. "No, but I ought to after that remark. No, it's about your clothes."

Leonard looked down at what he was wearing. "What's wrong with my clothes?"

Penny shook her head sadly. "You were about to be taking out an absolutely gorgeous girl, namely me, and that's how you dress?" Penny gestured towards the worn jeans, t-shirt, and hoodie Leonard had on. When he tried to speak, she hushed him. "Now since that is what you believe to be appropriate attire for a date, I shudder to think what you'll wear to your conference. I have come to a theory. This is probably the best you have and you think you look fine. Am I right?"

Leonard looked like he wanted to argue, but he just lowered his head and sighed. "Yeah. Other than a corduroy suit I got in 8th grade."

Penny hugged Leonard, feeling his surprise. After a moment, she pulled back and met his gaze. "Don't be embarrassed. The first time I saw you, you were wearing something similar and I liked you anyway. It's okay to wear something comfortable and relaxed most of the time. But you want to dress like a professional sometimes. Especially when you're facing your peers. I'm going to take you shopping."

Leonard slowly smiled like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. "Penny, I place myself totally in your hands."

Penny smiled back and couldn't help but think that any woman who ended up with Leonard was going to be a lucky girl.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard kept sneaking glances at Penny as he drove back to the apartment. Shopping had been a living hell for him which he thought would never end. Only lunch and one other thing had been a break from a whirlwind of motion which had them visit ten different stores from which Leonard had purchased three different suits, ten different pairs of pants, fifteen different shirts, six different belts, nine ties, six pairs of shoes, and a host of other items ranging from cuff links to boxers.

Leonard was even wearing new designer prescription shades that went well with his other new designer prescription eyeglasses. He had to admit it was a lot easier to see through glasses that cut everything from glare to uv light out. The frames were ridiculously comfortable. And fitted with ultra-thin, ultra-light lenses.

It had all set back better than ten grand, but then Leonard had made the mistake of telling Penny that money wasn't a big deal as he had a decent-sized inheritance from his great-uncle Walter Hofstadler, who had passed a couple of years before. He'd been a bachelor and childless. Leonard had been his favorite, which wasn't quite the compliment it sounded like as his brother and sister were arrogant and self-absorbed to put it kindly. So Leonard had reaped what they hadn't sown and come out a couple of million ahead. Considering that, what he'd spent today was chicken feed. Even considering the insanely expensive shoes Leonard had bought Penny as a thank you.

Although Leonard wasn't sure who was actually getting thanked since he'd gotten to watch Penny strut around looking good enough to eat in a dozen different pairs of sexy shoes before she'd chosen her favorite (and his), a pair of pink "fuck me" stilettos that made her legs look a mile long. And made Leonard uncomfortably adjust his new pants. He'd already decided that if Penny ever invited him to go clothes shopping with her, he'd do it, so long as he could see each outfit she tried on.

With amusement, Leonard noted that Penny had her new shoes out of the box and was talking to them, while she danced them across her lap.

"Oh lovely, expensive new shoes that I did not have to pay for, how I love thee. You make my legs _and_ my butt look great. And even though you hurt me so badly, it's worth every aspirin I'll have to take to wear you..."

Penny's voice trailed off after she glanced over and realized that Leonard was listening and smiling. And that they were home and sitting in the parking garage. Leonard grinned at her embarrassment. "Go on. I agree with every single thing you've said so far."

Penny smiled. "I love my new shoes. Thank you, Leonard."

"No problem. It was the only part of the shopping experience I enjoyed."

Penny looked surprised. "You mean that you enjoyed watching me buy shoes more than getting outfitted yourself? How is that possible?"

Leonard shuddered. "Buying clothes was horrible. I'll be happy if it doesn't need to happen for at least another year. Watching you buy clothes means getting to see you try things on and walk around in them. You look so happy and bright. I could watch that all day, everyday."

Penny's eyes seemed to glisten, almost as if she was going to cry. Then she threw herself across the seat at him, and hugged him fiercely. As she slowly released him, Penny kissed him. Her lips caught the corner of his mouth and lingered there. Finally, she pulled away. "Come on, let's get your loot upstairs."

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

"Howard, you finish it?" Leonard asked his face deadly serious as he asked.

"For the hundredth time, yes. I even deleted the original digital print off of the studio's servers. If they don't have it backed up, they are so screwed."

"And you wiped it off you hard drive?"

Howard nodded, resigned.

"And your back up?"

Howard nodded again.

"And your RAID mirror?"

Rolling his eyes, Howard nodded yet again.

"And off the thumb drive in your pocket?"

"Damn! You know me too well, Leonard." Howard handed the eraser sized drive to Leonard who smashed it flat with a hammer.

Howard cupped a hand protectively over his jewels. "Hey! I thought you were joking about smashing anything that still had Penny's topless scene on it after tonight. And where did you get a hammer anyway?"

Leonard shrugged. "Nope. Not joking. And from Sheldon's earthquake survival kit. You'd be surprised what all he has in there."

Howard moped. "Well, I hope your happy. You've single-handedly ruined the masturbatory fantasies of hundreds, if not thousands of men world-wide."

Leonard looked a bit sick. "Yeah, Howard, I apologize for not letting you jerk off to my hot blonde girlfriend's boobs."

Howard protested, "Oh, no, not mine. In preparation for this day, I watched Penny's clip for hours on end. The image of her bosom is burned into my retinas."

Disgusted, Leonard brandished his hammer and said, "Howard, don't make me hit you with this hammer."

Howard reached under his seat and pulled out his commemorative Iron Man helmet, putting it on. "Already ahead of you, buddy. Already ahead of you."

**AN:** The "Hello Kitty" sleep shorts Penny was wearing was inspired by TerribleWaitress's wonderful fanfic, _Hello Kitty_. Do yourself a favor and read it.


	8. Chapter Eight—Fun and Games

**Chapter Eight—Fun and Games**

"In closing, I would like to thank Dr Sheldon Cooper, without whom there would be no paper and no one to have even asked the question. Now are there any questions?"

Leonard smiled at the thumbs up Penny gave him as he easily answered the questions given to him from the audience. Sadly, from the content of most of the questions, many of them hadn't really understood the deeper implications that the paper raised. Was this how Sheldon felt, he wondered, always being the smartest one in the room?

If so, Leonard could understand why he raged against the judgment of what he called lesser minds. Leonard, himself, was just beginning to understand what his own mind was capable of. How, if he truly dedicated himself to his field, he could be assured of tremendous success. But the cost wasn't something Leonard felt like he would be willing to pay, thinking of his parents and sibling. Thinking of Penny. But somewhere there had to be a balance between his work and career and the rest of his life.

Leonard had now figured out that he was able to do tremendous work when he buckled down and forced himself unflinching to continue past his physical limitations. That was something he's never have guessed, that working through the fatigue would allow him such insights when his rested mind was simply spinning its wheels. In the future if faced with something that difficult, he'd stay and hammer his brain against that wall, instead of knocking off at five and going to the comic book store. With a faint smile, Leonard considered that, instead, maybe he'd go to the comic book store the next day.

Leonard realized that during his inner contemplation, he'd answered the last question of his slowly dispersing audience, and began gathering his stuff. He gave a little wave to Howard and Raj, who had taped his speech. Then he smiled widely, as Penny, looking like a million bucks and attracting just as many stares as when she'd first walked in with him, came up and hugged him.

"Oh, sweetie, I am so proud of you. You knocked them dead."

Leonard grinned as he hugged her back, breathing in her scent, one of those expensive ones that combined with Penny's own unique smell, created a synthesis that sent a jolt straight to his groin. Looking up at her, Penny being at least two inches taller than him in her heels, Leonard said, "Well, I credit my wonderful girlfriend for making me feel confident in my new suit."

Penny threw back her head and gave one of those genuine laughs that brought a smile to his face every time. She reached over and toyed with Leonard's lapel. "You should. You looked amazing up there."

In a tone of wonder, Leonard said, "I know. I was surprised how everyone paid attention to me from the very start, acting as if I was a big deal."

Penny was resting her arm around Leonard's shoulder now. "See what I mean? You dress the way you want people to see you. It's a lesson every actress and actor knows. And every con man, too. Although it works much better if you can back it up with something real like you did."

Over Penny's shoulder, Leonard spotted a familiar figure coming up the aisle towards them. "Sheldon?" he asked surprised by his presence.

Sheldon gave him a nod. "Leonard." After a beat. "Penny."

Penny drawled, "Whackadoodle."

Leonard suppressed a grin. In a whisper, he said, "Be nice." In a normal tone, he asked, "What are you doing here?"

Sheldon had a look on his face like he was sucking a lemon. "Leonard, it pains me to say this, but the presentation you did over our paper just now wasn't completely incompetent. Your idea for giving it may have not been completely without merit. I may have even been wrong about pandering to plebeian minds. After all, everyone seemed so interested in the material. And you were surprising commanding up there."

Leonard shrugged. Keeping his voice low, he said, "I hate to say this, but I was questioning the worth of doing this because I could tell from the questions I was getting that not a lot of them understood the deeper implications. I was starting to understand how you feel about always being the smartest person in the room."

Sheldon gave one of his weird laughs. "Haahaa! Very droll, Leonard. Now be serious. I propose that if we collaborate on another paper that we give the presentation together."

Leonard briefly considered. Despite Sheldon's insult, he was being about as nice as he was able to be. "I agree with one prerequisite."

"What is it?"

"That Penny dresses you."

Sheldon looked down at his striped suit. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

At this point Penny stepped in and after threading her arms through each of theirs, began to lead them outside. "Oh, sweetie, that's a loaded question. But the answer is very simple. Everything."

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Penny unloaded the take out and put it on real plates. That, along with the candles, napkins, and place settings, finished the table. Perfect. "Leonard, dinner's ready."

Leonard hopped up from where he'd been sitting and watching television. "Great. I'm starving. And looking forward to watching Raiders of the Lost Ark tomorrow at the IMAX with you."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Great. Who's dumb idea was it anyway to alternate things we each like to do?"

Leonard was grinning as he unfastened his napkin, setting it in his lap. "That would be your dumb idea, pookie. And can I say that the couple's massage? Loved it."

An involuntary smile tugged at Penny's lips. Pookie? "Okay, what's got you so revved up? You've been on cloud nine for the past week. If I didn't know better, I would say you're high." She peered at him closely in jest. "You're not high, are you?"

Leonard fiddled with his glasses a second. He glanced at Penny furtively, then away. Penny finally couldn't take it anymore. "My God, I see what you mean. You're a terrible actor. Spill!"

Excitement literally oozing from his pores, Leonard demanded, "Penny, if I tell you, you have to keep it a secret. And not a gossipy secret. It needs to be one of those take-to-grave kind of secrets. You-"

Okay, he was being way too dramatic. "Leonard, please."

Some of the excitement faded from his face. "I'm serious, Penny. I so want to share this with you. It's one of the most important things in my life and I want to share it with the most important person. Please promise me?"

Penny sat there, stunned. Had Leonard even realized what he'd said? She was starting to realize that he was extremely serious, though. "I promise, Leonard. I won't tell anyone."

Leonard nodded and took a deep breath. "Do you remember that experiment that I spent so much time redoing a few weeks back?"

Penny was horrified. "Oh, God, sweetie, I forgot all about it. I was going to talk to you about it then we started dating and there was the shopping and your presentation-"

Leonard interrupted her. "Penny, don't worry. There's nothing to forgive."

Penny was puzzled. "I don't understand."

"I was never wrong. After I got the carpet pulled out from under my feet, I spent an entire day in the lab, almost twenty-four hours straight. I had a breakthrough, the kind you read about in books, but that almost never happen in real life. Penny, I wrote out an equation, _free-handed_ on my whiteboard, that may change the way we view matter and the universe. I completely disproved David Underhill's theory. The kicker is, I already have all the experimental data I need to prove it. It's proofed and it's proven. That's funny. I should write it down."

Penny was stunned. She'd barely followed what he'd said, but she understood just enough to grasp that it was big. "Leonard, sweetie, that's amazing. I am so impressed."

Leonard sat there, grinning like a maniac now, practically buzzing with excitement. "I could get the Nobel Prize in physics for this."

Okay, Penny didn't know a lot about science, but even she knew that a Nobel Prize was a big deal for anyone. She got up, and pulled Leonard to his feet, hugging him tightly. She could smell the clean fresh of his cologne, the one she'd talked him into getting when they'd gone shopping together, mixed with something that was just Leonard. Penny whispered in his ear as she continued to hold him, "I am so proud of you, Leonard. You really are the most amazing person I know."

Penny moved back just enough to look Leonard in the eye. She smiled as she realized that in her flats, they were the same height. There was a look on his face that she'd never seen before and she just knew he was about to kiss-

Knock. Knock.

"Leonard and Penny."

Knock. Knock.

"Leonard and Penny."

Knock. Knock.

"Leonard and Penny."

Leonard stepped back, the moment gone. Penny managed to not grind her teeth nor to get out her bat as she stormed to the door, yanking it open. "What?" She demanded staring at Sheldon.

He looked taken aback, then slipped by her, walking uninvited into her apartment. "I just wanted the two of you to be the first to know that I figured out a costume to wear for the Halloween party that Penny is throwing next week."

Penny was going to kill him. "Sheldon! Do you mean that you interrupted Leonard and I on our date just to tell us something you could tell us the next time you saw us?"

Sheldon looked puzzled. ""Yes. And may I say that I appreciate that this time I did not have to call all over the city to track down exactly where you were eating and ride the bus wearing my bus pants just to share an interesting factoid about my life. It's much more convenient when you're right across the hall."

Penny wondered if she looked as annoyed as she felt at dealing with Captain Crazypants. She muttered, "I'm going to have to move."

From behind her, Penny heard Leonard snark, "If you think that's bad, the costume idea that Sheldon came over to tell us about is the same as it is every year."

Penny turned around and stared at Leonard incredulously. He simply nodded towards Sheldon, who looked like he was having a particularly difficult bowel movement as his face twitched in strain. Penny frowned in disgust at that image. "Is this true, Sheldon?"

Face twitching harder, Sheldon got out, "Nuh uh. You don't know what I'm dressing as."

Leonard had stepped up to stand next to Penny. The arm he put around her waist made her relax slightly. His words, however did the opposite. "You're dressing as the Flash, just like as you did the last four Halloweens."

Apparently, Leonard had had an ulterior motive for his gesture of affection as he used the arm her waist to stop Penny from jumping forward and pummeling Sheldon. Held back, Penny was still able to yell. "Sheldon! I swear that if you ever interrupt another date of mine with your ridiculous nonsense I'm going to put my foot so far up your ass that I can tickle your tonsils with my toes!"

Sheldon flinched back, looking both fearful and offended. "Well, that's uncalled for. You sound like my sister right before she..."

Penny growled, "Right before she did what?"

Sheldon didn't answer, instead fleeing, a look of horror on his face. Leonard slowly released his hold on her, allowing Penny to shut and lock the door. Leaning back against the door, Penny smiled in amusement. "What was that about?"

Leonard grinned at her. "Sheldon doesn't talk about his sister much, but I get the impression that she beat the crap out of him more than a few times in response to cracks he made to her."

Penny chuckled. Then she saw Leonard's smile fade, replaced by a frown. Concerned, she asked, "What's wrong?"

Leonard looked embarrassed as he admitted, "I'm a little nervous meeting your friends next week at the Halloween party."

Penny smiled. "You shouldn't be nervous."

"I just want them to like me."

"They will. You weren't this nervous when you met my friends Kira and Bethany the other day before we went dancing." Leonard had actually been surprisingly confident, greeting each of them with a smile before giving Penny a quick kiss and wishing them a good girl's night out. Both girls later told Penny they thought Leonard was cute, although later Bethany had grilled Penny about him because of how different he was than her usual type. And hadn't that been an interesting conversation?

Leonard nodded in agreement. "True. But in fairness, with that black dress you were wearing, I don't even remember what they looked like. Or their names until you just reminded me."

In a flash Penny was hugging him.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard burst into his apartment, on the verge of panicking. He eyed his three friends, who were sitting around the living room, watching the end credits of Watchmen. Howard was saying, "I told you it was really Billy Crudup's wang that was hanging out there and not a body double."

Raj protested, "How was I to know? It's not as if I've seen his penis before."

"Whoa! Raj!" Howard held up his hand in protest. "If you're going to talk about another guy's junk, don't use the P word. Use wang or the aforementioned junk."

Raj looked puzzled. "Why is that?"

Howard leaned in as if imparting something confidential. "Because it makes you sound gay."

Sheldon pontificated, "That's not surprising. Many Indian men are gay. I blame the population pressures."

Raj looked pissed. "Well, what makes you sound gay is that you still live with your mother. And that's racist, Sheldon."

Leonard interjected. "Raj, to be fair, Howard doesn't act gay in the slightest, mother or no. And Sheldon is equally as offensive to all races, including his own." He was finally getting into the swing of things as he shared a glance with Howard.

Raj exclaimed, "Well, what do you know? Just because you're dating the hottest girl that any of us have ever seen. All that does not make you an expert on is what is not gay. Or racist. And clearly, I am not acting gay. If anything, I am acting Indian."

Howard took that moment to pounce. "Really, Raj? And do all Indians wear sweater vests? I rest my case."

Howard looked back at Leonard, clearly expecting him to continue pounding on Raj. He just shook his head. "I got nothing."

Howard then looked towards Sheldon who shook his head and said, "I lost interest."

Leonard went and sat down on the couch between Raj and Sheldon. He slumped down on the cushions.

Raj asked, "Dude, is something wrong?"

Leonard sighed. "Not really."

Howard interjected, "Oooohh, I smell trouble in Pennyville. Did she dump you? I bet she dumped you. Seriously, though, did she dump you because I've been meaning to ask her out and the whole you dating her is getting in the way of that?"

Raj nodded in understanding. "Oh, so she dumped him."

Leonard yelled, "Penny did not dump me. There was no dumping. We're still dating."

Sheldon snarked, "That's really quite strange. I only gave your relationship a week and here it's been almost four. But then relationships are one of the few things I am not an expert in. Bazinga. I actually am."

Leonard threw up his hands in exasperation. "Penny and I are still together. Okay?"

Howard snarked. "You really have your panties in a bunch. I wonder where I should drive my Vespa first in Pennyville. Over the mountains? Or into the tunnel of lo-"

Leonard threatened, "Finish that and you'll be visiting the Pennyville cemetery."

Howard shrugged. "At least I'll be buried in Pennyville."

Leonard yelled, "Enough with the Pennyville!"

Raj asked, "So, dude, what's the problem?"

Leonard stared at them. "You're not going to stop harassing me until I tell, are you?"

"Nope."

"Not a chance."

"Still don't care."

"Fine. Penny invited me to come over on Saturday and watch football. It's so I can preemptively meet some of her friends before the Halloween party."

Howard nodded. "That's actually smart. Much more low key. No pressure."

Sheldon smirked. "Must not have been Penny's idea then."

Leonard gave his roommate a narrow-eyed glance that actually shut him up. He racked his brain for a way to explain. "It was. Or it would be. Except for one small detail."

Raj looked at him inquisitively. "What's that, dude?"

"I don't know anything about football! I don't know what a touchdown is. What the time periods are. Or even the positions the players play. What the hell is a huddle anyway?"

With an expression of infinite superiority on his face, Sheldon announced, "A touchdown is when you cross the goal line and is worth six points. In college football, there are four fifteen minute time periods. There's also a fifteen minute break in the game after the second period called halftime. The positions are as follows: Center, Right Guard-"

"Sheldon, just stop it. I don't need you rubbing it in."

Sheldon looked offended. "Merely displaying a greater knowledge of a subject and pontificating on that knowledge is in no way 'rubbing it in.'"

Raj disagreed. "That's exactly what rubbing it in means, Sheldon. And you were totally _doing_ it."

Leonard turned a look of despair on Howard, who laughed. "Yep. I can see where that _would_ be a problem."

"Thanks, Howard. You're a fount of nothing."

Howard shook his head. "You're not seeing the solution here. You're too close to the problem to see the solution."

Leonard shook his head in doubt. "And what solution would that be?"

Howard excitedly explained, "You're a smart guy. You don't understand football only because no one's ever explained it to you. Plus you probably weren't interested. But, hey, you are now. All you need to do is to watch a few games and have someone tell you whats going on. Like a football tutorial."

Leonard brightened. "I like tutorials."

Raj shook his head. "There's only one problem with your idea, Howard."

Howard bristled. "And what's that Mr Smarty-pants?"

Raj asked, "Who do we know that knows jack about football?"

Leonard and Howard slumped in defeat. Then, almost in unison, the two of them and Raj all turned to stare at Sheldon. After a second of this, Sheldon grimaced and announced, "I will not be anyone's football tutorial."

Howard sniped, "Why not? You were ready to explain the entire game just a few minutes ago."

"That was a few minutes ago when I thought my genius level knowledge was both loved and appreciated. Now that I know it's not, I'm out of here."

Leonard jumped in. "Sheldon, don't you want to be able to lecture me for hours on end?"

Snootily, Sheldon snarked, "I do that anyway."

Leonard snarked right back, "But this time I'll actually be listening."

Sheldon shook his head. "Leonard, I see no reason to waste my time teaching an inferior a subject which has absolutely no redeeming social values and which dredges of terrible childhood memories of being forced to watch it rather than do calculus." Then, as if an idea suddenly occurred to him, "Unless..."

Leonard crossed his arms over his chest. He doubted he was going to like this. "Unless what?"

"Unless you adhere to the schedule we set up for my convenience again."

"We set up? We? You mean _you_ set up." Sometimes Leonard wanted to kill Sheldon. Like now. Instead, he asked, "For how long?"

"Indefinitely."

Leonard shook his head. " No way. It's not like I still don't take you to the comic book store or out to dinner wherever you like most days, but I'm dating Penny now and sometimes I can't humor you. I'll do it for a week."

Sheldon countered, "Two weeks."

Leonard countered back, "One week and I'll throw in Penny helping play paintball Saturday."

Howard said in a hushed tone, "She's that good?"

Leonard leaned in. "Guys, she grew up on a farm. She's been hunting more often that Sheldon's been to the dentist. She's like a trained killer. I'd back her against everybody out there together."

Sheldon had a constipated look on his face. "Fine then. I agree."

Leonard got up. Sheldon immediately asked, "Where are you going? We're about to watch Battlestar Galatica."

Leonard grimaced. "I get to explain to Penny why we're going to be doing what you want for the next week. I'm sure that'll go over well."

Howard suggested, "Just tell her that she'll get to shoot people on Saturday. On the bright side, if she dumps you over this, I'll get my chance with her."

Leonard smiled. "You're right, Howard. That is the bright side. With the prospect of you hitting on her if she dumps me, I've got Penny for life."

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Wearily, they trooped into their base. Wearily except for Penny, who looked fresh as a daisy, Still, she cracked a yawn, but that had more to do with being up at the ass crack of dawn than it did with running around playing with fake guns for a couple of hours. Still, she _had_ enjoyed it. "Leonard, you were right. That was fun. Did you know that's the first time I've ever played paint ball before?"

Covered in so much paint that you could barely see his eyes through his goggles, Sheldon stood there glaring at her. "Clearly. You're not supposed to shoot your own team."

Penny gave him an innocent look. "But who else was I supposed to shoot after every else was dead. Or ran off," she added contemplatively.

Howard was staring at her and not in a creepy way, more like a terrified one. "They ran off because you scared them off. I think the chemistry departments still running." He glanced at the screen of his iphone. "As a matter of fact, I know they're still running. The material science department is filming them."

Leonard walked over to look at the screen. "You mean they stopped running themselves?"

"No. They're just filming while they're running."

At that moment, a white flag on the end of a paint gun barrel was waved in the doorway. A feminine voice called out, "Can I come in?"

Penny listened as Leonard waved the woman inside. She vaguely remembered shooting her in the back, then kicking her down a twelve foot embankment. The woman must have rolled five times before she hit bottom. From the look she gave Penny, she must have remembered it a bit better. Looking at Penny, she said in a deadpan voice, "Don't shoot me. I come in peace."

Leonard introduced them. "Penny, this is Dr Leslie Winkle. Leslie, this is Penny."

Penny responded, "It's nice to meet you, Leslie."

"I'd say it was nice to meet you, too, but you made me eat dirt." Turning to Leonard, she announced, "You can't bring her to any more paintball tournaments. We voted on it."

Leonard defended her. "Now wait a minute. Who voted?"

Leslie shrugged. "Everybody except you and her. It was unanimous."

Penny glared at the boys. "Howard? Raj? Sheldon? What do you have to say for yourselves?"

Howard looked unabashed. He put his hands up as if weighing something out. "You did win for us. But you shot me. So that kinda evened things out. You're hot, but you scare the crap out of me with a gun in your hand. Sorry, advantage banishment."

Raj just shrugged at Penny's glance, so she turned to Sheldon. "The others don't matter. You shot _me_, so ergo, you must go."

Leonard was looking upset. He appeared about to argue more when Leslie's deadpan voice started up again. "It doesn't matter anyway. She's banned from the course, too. She shot the officials."

All eyes turned Penny's way as she grinned sheepishly. That had been so funny, too. Especially the one who thought he was hiding...

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard slipped his arm back around Penny as she sat down next to him with a fresh beer in her hand. Sadly, he was still on his first, but at least he was almost finished with it. "This isn't so bad. I like your friends."

Penny hugged him lightly as she took a long pull. "Don't worry, sweetie. They like you, too. See? I told you there was nothing to worry about."

From the corner of his eye, Leonard was still watching the TV. Absently, he said, "Toss right sweep." He nodded his head as that's exactly what they ran, unfortunately for no gain.

Penny nudged him to get his attention. "I thought you didn't know anything about football. Since when did you become so expert?"

Leonard shrugged. "Since this past week. I had Sheldon explain the game to me. Another draw? Because that worked so well the first three times you ran it."

If Penny was going to say anything, she didn't get the chance as a guy behind Leonard tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Dude, how did you know they were going to run a draw? I mean, you said that before they even ran it."

Leonard explained, "They were in their two tight end set. They only run a handful of plays out of that set. They're trying to get Keller involved in the running game since the passing game hasn't been productive."

The guy argued, "They've racked up a lot of yards through the air."

Leonard countered, "But not points. What they need to do is alternate short slants with the occasional screen pass to take advantage of A&M's weak line backer corp. Running into the strength of that defense isn't going to work. Neither is throwing against their secondary. It's too good."

Leonard barely heard Penny excuse herself to get another beer as more and more guys joined into the argument. After a while, a guy started yelling at the TV for the Nebraska coach to do 'what Leonard said.'" He took that as time to take a break and excused himself to get another beer. My second, Leonard thought sarcastically.

It was around then that Leonard realized he hadn't heard from Penny in a while, so he went to look for her. Not seeing her anywhere in the living room, he finally stuck his head out in the hallway and saw her sitting on the stairs. Upon seeing him, she immediately brushed her hand across her cheeks.

"Penny, are you okay? Were you crying?"

Her voice sounded tight as she spoke. "I'm fine. Everything's fine."

Leonard sat down next to her and bumped her shoulder with his. He could feel old insecurities raise their heads as he asked, "Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry for whatever I did."

Penny placed both her hands on his shoulder and leaned her head against him. "You didn't do anything wrong. I just..."

Leonard squeezed her knee encouragingly. "Just what?"

Penny whispered, "Sometimes I forget just how smart you are."

Leonard wondered what was going on. Penny was usually so confident, but at the moment, she sounded defeated. "Is this about the football thing?"

Penny shrugged. "No. Yes. I don't know. Maybe. Leonard, you have a doctorate in physics. You're the smartest person I know. You might be getting a Nobel Prize soon."

Leonard rubbed Penny's back. "So what? None of that stuff is that important."

Penny shrugged off his hand, turning to meet his eyes. "It is important. You're important. And intelligent. Too intelligent and important to be fake dating a community college drop out who waits tables for a living while she wastes her life hoping for her big break."

Leonard was terrified at that moment. With stunning clarity, he realized he could lose Penny, maybe forever. It also pissed him off. He didn't even think before blurting out, "That's utter bullshit."

Penny's face went from tragic to angry. "Don't-"

Leonard interrupted. "No. Let me talk. I heard what you had to say. You talk about me as if I'm the second coming. Like physics is the most important thing in the world. Like you're stupid because you don't understand what I do."

"Leonard-"

"No! I need to tell you this. You know what's really important? People are important. The people in our lives who we care about. You talk about how smart I am. But Penny, I don't understand people a tenth as well as you do. You're better at that than I'll ever be at physics. When I see you, I don't see a community college drop out. I only see Penny. Who's the most brilliant person I know."

Penny breathed, "Oh Leonard, that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me." She gave a deprecating laugh and looked away. "And here I thought you only like me because of how I looked."

Leonard stared at her. She was so brilliant at reading others, but she had such a hard time reading herself and him. He reached over and turned her face back to him. "This," he rested his hand in the center of her chest between her breasts, "is nice. You are beautiful on the outside. I won't deny it's the first thing I noticed about you. I'd be a hypocrite to do so. But it's not why I like you now. I see past that. I see underneath the candy-coated outside and I see _you_. I see the real Penny. I see your good qualities. I see your flaws. I see everything. And it makes me smile. The real you makes me happy. That's why you're beautiful."

Tears were dripping down Penny's cheeks as they just sat there for several minutes. Finally, she smiled and said, "Leonard?"

Leonard smiled back. "Yes?"

"You're still touching my chest."

Leonard removed his hand as if she were red hot. Penny reached over and hugged him. She murmured against his shirt, "I don't mind. I liked what you said. About me being smart and beautiful."

Leonard breathed in the smell of Penny's hair. "It helps when it's true."

"Do you want to go back in? I could use another beer."

Hearing the reluctance in her voice, Leonard shook his head. "Nah. You can have this one. I haven't even drank out of it." He offered her the still full bottle he was holding

Penny accepted the bottle and took a swig. "Not much of a beer drinker?"

Leonard shook his head. "I don't really like it. I prefer Mountain Dew and Red Bull."

Penny said, "I've never really had a Red Bull. Is it any good?"

"Nope. But it does hype you up."

"Maybe I should try it." She had a teasing light in her eyes.

"Right. I was there when you kicked our asses in paintball. The last thing you need is more hyping."

"Were the guys still whining about that when you came over?"

Leonard gave Penny a direct look. "What do you think?"

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***


	9. Chapter Nine—In Vino Veritas

**Chapter Nine—In Vino Veritas**

**AN:** This chapter is going to be a bit more serious as it deals with drinking and the poor decision making that evolves from it. Also, this chapter is why there's a M rating.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

_In vino veritas - "in wine [there is the] truth" _

Penny stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. She looked good. The kittycat costume had come out even better than she had planned. Leonard was going to _love_ it. She smiled at the thought of his reaction. Then she frowned. Maybe too good. Bad, bad Penny. She did not need to be flirting and coming onto Leonard. Or getting dressed up way too early to show off in front of him. But she badly wanted to see his reaction to her outfit.

Penny chewed her lower lip. "What are you doing, Penny?" She asked the girl in the mirror. She and Leonard were just friends. Friends, right... Penny, after all, knew that Leonard really liked her. She could easily see that. He showed it in so many ways. The way he had comforted her when she had gotten upset during the game had touched her deeply. But friends comforted each other too, right?

Penny smiled at her image. "You are such a slut!" She so was. Penny knew that at least half the reason she was dressing up was that she had been feeling incredibly horny recently. Ordinarily, if she had felt this way, she would have just gone to a club and picked up a hot guy and spent the night in drunken debauchery. But that was out of the question now.

Since she and Leonard were pretending to be dating, she couldn't go around sleeping with random guys. Carefully, she didn't think about any other reasons that she might have decided to not sleep around. Maybe it was the birth control pills she was back to taking. They were full of hormones. Yeah, that had to be why she was so horny lately? Penny decided to blame them despite her gynecologist telling her that decreased libido was more common. But what did she know anyway?

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard made a final adjustment to his costume as he stared in the mirror. A short Han Solo stared back at him. Originally, he had decided to dress as Frodo Baggins after figuring out Sheldon was dressing as the Flash, but after seeing himself dressed that way, Leonard has asked himself one simple question: Did he want Penny to see him in that, hairy feet and all? The answer had been very simple; no, he did not.

Penny knew he was a nerd. Leonard knew that Penny knew that he was a nerd. But there was a difference between being a nerd and being a wimp. Sadly, Frodo, despite being the hero of the _Lord of the Rings_ movies, looked like a wimp. On the other hand, Han Solo looked cool, even when he was shorter than Luke Skywalker. And instantly recognizable.

Oddly, Leonard changing his costume had caused Sheldon to change his. Of course there had been some kind of argument with Howard and Raj about who got to be the Flash, so that probably had something to do with it. Leonard had taken one look at Sheldon dressed as the Doppler Effect and smiled. It was a cool costume, but Leonard knew that it was likely that the four of them were the only ones there who would get it.

"Leonard, hurry up, we're going to be late," Sheldon called from the living room.

Leonard rolled his eyes. Stepping out of his room, he told Sheldon, "The party's not really starting until around 9. I told you this four times already."

Sheldon tapped his watch. "Penny said it started at seven o'clock. It's seven o'clock."

From behind them, a voice chimed in. "He's right you know. It is seven o'clock. How's it going, my homies?"

Leonard turned to see that Howard and Raj had arrived. "Ahhh, Peter Pan and... Thor?"

Raj grinned. "You got it."

Howard looked irked. "I'm Robin Hood. See? Bow."

Leonard raised his brows and exchanged a look with Raj who just shrugged. "I told him, but what can you do?"

Howard was rubbing his hands together. "So when are we heading over? I want to give the ladies a huge helping of Howard."

A sarcastic voice from behind them drawled, "There's nothing huge about you, Howard. And you can keep your helpings to yourself, away from my friends."

Howard opened his mouth, but Penny cut him off, "Not even the slutty ones, Howard."

Leonard, meanwhile had his brain stutter to a halt. He missed something Howard said as he stared. Reverently, he asked, "What are you dressed as?"

CatPenny smiled at him. "This old thing? I'm a kitty cat." She made a scratching motion towards him with her right hand as she playfully showed her teeth. Okay, he couldn't stand it a minute more.

Leonard grabbed Penny's hand and started walking out of the apartment, pulling her along behind. Over his shoulder, he called, "I need to talk to Penny about something. I'll be right back."

Behind him, Penny asked, "Is everything okay? Don't you like my costume?" She sounded vaguely disappointed.

Leonard pulled Penny through her door and slammed it shut. He then pressed her up against the door and pulled her into a kiss. Hot and wet and deep, Leonard devoured Penny's mouth. He was so hard that he couldn't stand it, grinding against her soft heat. Penny's arms, which had rested in shock on his shoulders, now slid around his neck, fingers twining into his hair as she gripped him desperately.

Penny's hot, sweet mouth was kissing, sucking, and nibbling on his own. Leonard's hands slid around Penny and cupped her ass under the short black skirt she wore as part of her costume. Her soft groans as she ground her pelvis against his made Leonard's pulse race even faster. Then he felt her leg slide up and around his as she ground herself even harder against him. Leonard continued kissing and dry humping Penny for what felt like forever. Finally, he broke the kiss and allowed his hands to move to her waist. He rested his forehead against hers breathing deeply.

Leonard could feel Penny's warm breath against his face as she panted softly, eyes closed. He whispered, "Yes, I like your costume. I like it a lot."

Penny opened her eyes. They were soft and languid as they stared into his. "Where did that come from? I thought we were friends. Not..."

Leonard lightly cupped her cheek in the palm of his hand, stroking her soft skin with his thumb. He noticed the unfocused look in her eyes as they blinked lazily. "I don't want to label us. Of course we're friends. Friends who do this." Kissing the underside of her cheek. "And this." Leonard kissed her nose. "And this." He kissed her lips, just barely brushing his over hers.

Penny stuttered slightly. "I-i d-don't know, Leonard. I don't want to lose you. It feels like something always goes wrong when I do this."

"Life's risky. But we'll be careful. We'll take it slow. And we'll stay friends. There's no world where I won't care about you. Where you can't talk to me. I could meet a thousand Penny's on a thousand worlds and you could do the same with me. On everyone of them, we'd be friends. You're very likable, you know." As Leonard spoke, he could feel his heart swell. He met Penny's eyes and tried to convince her through sheer force of will that he was right.

Green eyes met his. Finally, she nodded faintly. "I'm willing to try. If we go slow. I don't want to lose you."

Leonard hugged her hard, reveling in her soft curves pressed against him. She whispered in his ear, "I guess you liked the candy-coated outside today."

Leonard grinned and whispered back, "You look utterly beautiful. And so sexy."

Penny stepped back, finally, out of his embrace, still smiling. Then she rolled her eyes. "Oh lord, I'm going to have to redo my make up. You mussed me."

Leonard waggled his brows. "So that's what you call it? Who knew?"

Penny actually blushed, waving her hands over heated cheeks. "Go back to your apartment right now, young man. I'll see you in a little while, okay?"

Leonard leaned in and stole a quick kiss from Penny. "Okay." He couldn't stop smiling as he walked back to his apartment. Finally, Penny and he were together for real!

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Penny stared at her image in the mirror. "What are you doing, Penny?" she asked the shell-shocked girl with the swollen lips staring back at her. What _was_ she doing? How could she have so stupid as to agree to dating for real?

When Leonard had looked at her in her costume, Penny had never felt so sexy and desirable. Over the years, there had been a lot of guys who said they wanted her. And she had slept with far too many of those. But not one of them had ever looked at her with such a look of desire. Of hunger. It had made her flirt and worse, as Penny had shamelessly eye-fucked Leonard as she made a scratching gesture while swaying softly in place. Even the playful bite she made towards him had been over the line.

When Leonard had take her hand, Penny had followed him without a second thought. When he had pressed her against the door and kissed her, she had reacted like the cat in heat she was dressed as, and kissed him back. As she touched her swollen lips with a finger, Penny knew that if he had dragged her into her bedroom, she would have willingly gone with him there as well. They could be having sex right now, she thought, something that did nothing to cool her down.

Okay, Penny had to put a stop to this. Stop being such a pushover. Stop acting like a horny teenager. She'd start tonight. She would only be friendly with Leonard, just like she would with any of her other male friends. Well, except for Howard Wallowitz. That decided, Penny felt a great sense of relief and went back to fixing her make up. She ignored the look in the eyes of the girl in the mirror as she reapplied his lipstick. The look that doubted Penny could pull this off. And the ache inside herself.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard smiled happily, clutching his drink. "This has been fun."

Penny brushed his hair back from his forehead and adjusted his vest. "I told you it would be. Do you like your drink?"

Leonard took another sip. "Definitely. It tastes very fruity. What is it again?"

Penny was a little loud as she leaned a little heavily up against him, her breasts pressed against his arm. "Trash can punch."

"What's in it?"

Penny had a considering look on her face as she stated, "Cherry and grape Kool Aid, fruit juice, chunks of fruit, and fruit cocktail. Oh, and Everclear."

Leonard enjoyed the wonderful feeling that the drink gave him. "I like it. What's Everclear?"

Penny squeezed his bicep lightly as she answered, "The best part."

Leonard was noticing that Penny kept touching him. Not that he didn't like it, but it was just a little odd. There had been the hug when he'd first arrived, her breath smelling of punch. Then all throughout the party, she would touch his hair, adjust his shirt collar, or just press against him. The feeling of a warm fragrant Penny pressed up against him had caused Leonard to have to adjust himself on more than one occasion tonight.

Diffidently, he asked, "Penny, can I ask you something?"

Green eyes, looking just a little hazy, met his. "Sure, Leonard. Whatcha want to know?"

Leonard wasn't quite sure how to phrase it, so he just put it out there. "You keep touching me. I was just wondering why."

Penny smiled. "Am I? I didn't notice." She was petting his chest as she said it. "Don't worry, though. Friends are affectionate and touch each other. And we are friends, right?"

Leonard was quick to reassure her. "Of course we are. We're always going to be friends. And you're right, friends touch each other."

To demonstrate, Leonard stroked the back of Penny's neck, stirring the fine hairs there. Penny beamed at him as she stroked the line of his jaw with one finger. "I'm always right. You said so yourself last Saturday."

Had he? Well, not exactly, but it was close enough. He lightly squeezed and stroked the soft tanned skin of her waist that was exposed by her costume. "I did. I like this touching. It's nice." And so, so soft, Leonard thought as he caressed her.

Penny's eyes were suddenly huge as they stared into his. "Leonard, come with me." She stumbled slightly as she took his hand and tugged him along with her. Leonard noticed that most of the party had cleared out. Then Penny was stopping and shutting the door behind her, locking it.

Leonard looked around in interest at Penny's bedroom. He hadn't really had time the last time he'd been in there to look things over. Wow that was a lot of stuffed animals, he thought hazily. "So Penny, what did you wa- Ooomph!"

Leonard suddenly had an armful of blonde that could have doubled as an octopus. At the same time she was kissing him, her tongue halfway down his throat, there was also a hand snaking down the front of his pants. Leonard feverishly kissed her back. Then she suddenly pushed him and Leonard ended up on his back on something soft staring up at the ceiling.

Then Penny was there and straddling him. Leonard didn't have time to think before she leaned down and kissed him again. His whole world was Penny. Her entire body moved across his as their tongues battled for supremacy. Then Leonard won that battle as Penny broke the kiss, her lips sliding wetly down his neck. He groaned aloud as she found a sensitive spot. Wait a second, he thought muzzily, should we be doing this?

Then Penny was upright again and meeting his eyes. In one motion, she pulled her top over her head. Her strapless bra followed. Leonard's eyes traveled over her perfect breasts before she was back on top of his, feverishly tugging on his shirt. Somehow, he managed to sit up enough to get his shirt and vest off. Then there was skin on skin as the two of them continued to hungrily kiss.

Penny was back upright and tugging on the zipper of his pants when Leonard's brain woke up enough to know that they were both too drunk to be doing this. Her nearly falling over while giggling wasn't his first clue but was an important one. He needed to stop her before she did something she would regret.

Leonard managed to grab Penny's hands when they were just short of pulling out Little Leonard to play. She got out, "Why'd you stop me?"

Leonard managed to get out, "I don't think we should do this, Penny."

Penny was trying to get her arms out of his grip, and damn was she stronger than she looked. "Well, I think we should. Do it. We should totally do it."

Penny fell over giggling at that, and Leonard took the opportunity to slide out from under her and pull her into his arms. Her slim bare back was pressed to his chest as he held her close with both arms. She struggled faintly. "No... let me go."

Leonard tried not to let his hands wander above Penny's waist as he kept her close which wasn't easy from a physical or mental point of view. "I've got you, Penny. Shhh."

Her voice was heartbreaking as she whispered, " Leonard, don't you want me?"

Leonard kissed her bare shoulder as he whispered back, "Of course I want you." He ground his aching erection against Penny's bottom for a moment. "You can feel how much I want you."

Penny plaintively asked, "Then why won't you have sex with me?"

Yes, you idiot, why won't you have sex with her? You want her and she clearly wants you. From the way she was grinding her bottom back against him, she definitely wanted him. "Penny, stop that."

She stilled, but then began to cry. He stroked her hair as he whispered in her ear, "Oh, sweetheart. Penny, baby, don't cry. I just want to take care of you. That's part of being friends, especially best friends. You just want to take care of the other person. I don't want you to do something you'll regret. So, sweetheart, let me take care of you."

During his speech, Penny's sobs had stopped, and she lay relaxed in his arms. Just when Leonard thought she was out, she sleepily said, "Leonard?"

"Yes?"

"I'm glad I've got you to take care of me."

With that, she was out like a light. Leonard continued to hold her as her breathing deepened and she began to snore softly. God, he despaired, even her snoring was cute. He needed to get up and make sure everybody was out of the apartment, that the party was over, but all he wanted to do was lay there and hold Penny.

Leonard slowly disentangled himself from her and managed to sit upright. He stood up and nearly fell down. Okay, I am sooo drunk, he thought to himself. That punch packed a wallop. That punch punched him. Leonard grinned at his own clever saying. Then he frowned at the sight of Penny. He needed to get her under the covers.

A few minutes later, Leonard managed to get her mostly tucked into bed. He gave her chest one last look before pulling up her blanket to cover her. His beautiful blonde princess. He loved her so much, he thought. Leonard muzzily shook his head. Okay, okay. Enough. He needed to check out the apartment.

Leonard didn't bother with a shirt as he walked out of Penny's bedroom, closing the door behind him. The apartment was deserted and still. Someone had turned off most of the lights, which was good. Leonard walked over and locked the door. Then he stopped and thought that he should maybe go sleep back at his place. But that was all the way across the hall. And Penny and a warm bed were right here.

Plus, she needed him to take care of her. She'd have a hangover tomorrow. Leonard racked his brains for how to deal with a hangover and finally, the answer came to him. Lots of water and ibuprofen. He filled two glasses with water and drank another, setting them on the nightstand next to Penny. Then he staggered to the bathroom and dug through her medicine cabinet. He couldn't make heads or tails of most of the items, but eventually found some Excedrin. Good enough.

Was that everything? Tiredly, Leonard decided it was. He sat down and pulled off his pants. The he slid into the bed already made warm by Penny. Sliding an arm around her waist, Leonard let himself relax and fall asleep.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Penny wake up with her head throbbing and a foul taste in her mouth. Where was she? Okay, bed. Good. Then she realized that she was naked. Or not naked, but at least topless. And there was arm around her waist with a hand cupping her breast. And something hard poking against her bottom. And what was she wearing?

Penny pulled the thing off of her head and stared blearily at it. Black cat ears? Then she remembered the party. And Leonard. _Leonard!_ Penny remembered throwing herself at Leonard and him resisting her and that was all. Apparently, he hadn't been able to completely resist. Or maybe he had as Penny finally figured out that she was still wearing both the bottom of her costume and her panties.

That was good, right? At least it meant that she hadn't succeeded in making a complete slut of herself. That was the last thing she wanted to think about when her head was about to blow off. Penny was contemplating getting up for something for her head when she spotted something on the nightstand next to her.

Water and Excedrin, two of her favorite things. Penny managed to swallow four capsules and an entire glass of water before relaxing back in bed. She'd barely slid back against Leonard's warm body when his hand was once again cupping her breast. "Sleep groper," she accused. Deciding that she really didn't mind it there, Penny let herself drift back to sleep.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard woke up to a jackhammer banging on the inside of his skull. Why did his head hurt so bad? Hadn't he taken Excedrin and drank water last night? Leonard shuddered at how much worse it might have been without the preventative steps he'd undertaken. How anyone could do this to themselves more than once was a complete mystery to him.

Then Leonard remembered that there was water and Excedrin just a few feet away. Opening his eyes, he saw a blurry form hovering over him. Then his glasses were in his hands and he saw Penny holding out a glass of water and four Excedrin. He swallowed the pills and drank the water. Absently, he noted that she was no longer topless, instead wearing a white tank top. He tried a tentative smile, but didn't receive one in return. Leonard wondered if she was angry at him for what had happened last night.

Leonard was just getting ready to apologize when Penny spoke, "I'm so sorry for behaving the way I did last night, Leonard."

Leonard shook his head. "You don't have to be sorry, Penny."

"Yeah I do. I behaved badly and took things too far right after we decided we were going to go slow." Penny sounded so dejected that Leonard hurt for her.

He reached up where she was sitting, hugging her knees, and rubbed her back. "You don't have to be sorry. Trust me, a beautiful blonde being all over me is not some horrible thing."

Penny peeked at him. "Maybe. But I led you on and now you probably think I want to have sex with you and..."

Leonard refused to be worried. He sat up all the way, trying not to groan as his head throbbed unmercifully. "So long as the continuation to that is 'I don't want to yet,' then we're okay. If it's not at all, then we have a problem."

Penny immediately put her arm on his shoulder reassuringly. "_No!_ No. I do... I mean, I will. Just not yet. Oh God, I am the queen of mixed signals."

Leonard bit the bullet and pulled Penny into his arms. She went so eagerly that he knew that she too craved the comfort of physical touch. She smelled so fresh and clean that he knew she'd already taken a shower. He complained into her hair, "No fair that you get to smell fresh as a daisy when I am sure I stink."

Amusement leaked into her voice as she teased, "You snooze, you lose. I've been up for hours, lightweight. If you had woken up earlier, you could have seen me walking around naked. I..."

Penny stopped and tensed. Leonard refused to let her make things weird. He teased back, "Naked huh? You couldn't have at least recorded it for me?"

Penny started to relax as she responded to his tone. "Recorded myself naked? You wish, perv."

"Perv? I think that's called being a guy. I mean, who doesn't want to have recorded evidence of how hot his girlfriend looks naked?"

"Dream on, buster. Besides, you already saw me topless in that crappy movie."

Leonard paused, the decided to go ahead and tell her. "Actually, that's not a problem anymore."

Penny pushed away from him and looked at face. "What isn't?"

Leonard shrugged. "Your movie. Turns out that they didn't have it backed up on an isolated server. Just mirrored on a net accessible one."

Penny looked adorably confused. "Net what?"

Leonard slowly stated, "When I saw how embarrassed you were about that movie, I asked Howard to track down all of the bootleg versions and clips of it out there. He got them all. He even erased it off the studio's server. Turns out that they only had a digital copy of it. Nothing on film. So it's gone."

Penny looked poleaxed. "You didn't even keep a copy? Or Howard?"

Leonard looked her in the eye. "I made sure that Howard destroyed every copy he had. And I didn't want one."

"You didn't? But you said earlier-"

Leonard interrupted, "I know what I said. I was serious. Any time you're sober and want to take naked pictures of yourself for me, or want me to, I'm all for it. Or a video even. As long as you want to do it. That you're not embarrassed. Hell, I didn't even care about the movie you did. I know a lot of amazing actresses have done nude scenes. If you end up doing another, I'm even okay with that. As long as you're okay with it. Penny, I just want you to be happy. To be as proud of yourself as I am. If something hurts or embarrasses you, you can be damn certain I'm going to do what I can to fix it."

Penny just sat there staring at him. After a moment, Leonard began to worry. It had been presumptuous of him to try to fix her mistakes. Maybe she was mad? Then Penny was hugging him so hard his ribs creaked. Wow, she really was surprisingly strong, he thought.

"Air..." Leonard gasped, only half in jest. He was a bit of a wimp because of his asthma.

Penny released him, then punched him in the arm. Then she kissed his cheek. "You are the most wonderful boyfriend ever. Thank you for that."

Penny laid her head on his shoulder. Diffidently, Leonard suggested, "You know, if I could brush my teeth really quickly, I wouldn't mind a proper thank you kiss."

In response, Penny gave one of her special, heartfelt laughs, and pushed him towards the bathroom.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

There, that should do it, Leonard decided, reading over the final draft of his paper. Once he submitted this, all hell was going to break loose. He could already envision new lines of research that were going to come into existence because of his equation. Leonard had actually done a bare bones feasibility study on five different experiments he wanted to do if he came into the funds he hoped for. They would require several very expensive pieces of equipment as well as a lot of very pricey time on a supercomputer. But they would be worth ever dollar.

Since finishing the equation and confirming experiments, Leonard's thoughts had been so clear. He felt like he could do anything. He'd already put back together his failed rocket fuel research and figured out the instability issue with the oxidizer he'd been using. Leonard wasn't sure that he could get the additional funding need again from the Air Force, but he was going to flesh out a suitable proposal to do so as soon as he got back from Penny's.

If Leonard got the money and the final product responded like he thought it would, it would approximately double the exothermic energy from a pound of fuel, halving the amount that was needed to reach orbit. Not a trivial thing when you think about how much fuel was needed to put even a kilogram into orbit. It took a thousand kilograms of fuel to put one kilogram into orbit. His fuel would halve that. And hopefully not blow up any more elevators.

Now if he could just get a Radio Frequency Generator, a Xenon Flow Assembly, and an Ion Propulsion Assembly for his lab, he could do some real cutting-edge work on something a lot more exciting that rocket propellant. Ion Propulsion was the future of space travel, at least in the near-future. Beyond that, it was just theoretical.

Of course before he could get any of the things that he wanted, Leonard first had to get this sent out to everyone on his list. It was already Tuesday and he and Penny were flying out on Friday after work. They were going first class since Leonard flew so seldom that he figured he might as well do it right. Plus if he got airsick, he had more room to stretch out. It hadn't been too expensive to upgrade Penny's seat as well.

Leonard already had a rental car waiting for them in Omaha so they could make the drive out to Bennington, the little town Penny grew up in. He was actually looking forward to seeing the town and her dad's farm. He was a little intimated by the idea of cows and horses, but Penny had promised him that she would keep him safe from any and all beasts.

Okay, the emails were sent and the paper was submitted. Hopefully within a few days or at worst by the time he got back from Penny's, he would hear something back from the journals and the University Administration. If not, Leonard had a couple of other resources for publishing.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

**AN: ** Well, some truths were revealed, but don't expect sober versions of Leonard and Penny to acknowledge them.


	10. Chapter Ten—Meeting the 'Rents

******Chapter Ten—Meeting the 'Rents**

Leonard blinked fuzzily, then reached for his phone to stop the ringing.

"Hello?"

"Dr Hofstadler? This is President Siebert. You can guess why I'm calling."

Leonard glanced at his clock. It was 5:00 am. Why was the president of the university calling him at this hour? "Ahh... no, I can't. Why are you calling me at five in the morning?"

"Because you didn't answer your phone last night! Who turns off their cell phone?"

Leonard blinked. He had turned off his cell phone because he was on a date with Penny. He hadn't turned it back on until right before he'd gone to bed. "I guess I do. What do you want, sir?"

"Dr Hofstadler, I need you to come see me as soon as you get in."

Leonard tried to remember if he had done anything wrong. Maybe someone had found out about the magnet he'd designed to get free sodas from the Coke machine. "What do you mean?"

The man on the line was almost yelling. "I mean come see me as soon as you come in. No later than eight. Understand?"

Faintly, Leonard stated, "I understand. See you at eight."

Leonard hung up, yawning. He decided it wasn't worth going back to sleep for an hour assuming he even could sleep. Instead, he got up and began to make his bed.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard walked into President Siebert's office, escorted by his personal assistant. He was taken aback by the presence of not just President Siebert, but Dr Gablehauser, the new head of the Caltech physics department, and Dr Rothman, a theoretical physicist who'd been tenured since before Leonard was born. He'd barely made it into the door when Dr Gablehauser pounced on him.

"Dr Hofstadler! So good to see you. Please, sit down."

Leonard sat down in the indicated seat, after exchanging a nod with Dr Rothman. He asked, "What's going on? I mean, good to see you all, but what's all this," gesturing around with his hand, "About?"

President Siebert cleared his throat. "Dr Hofstadler, Leonard, if I may call you Leonard?" At Leonard's confused nod, he continued, "Yesterday, you emailed not only myself and Dr Gablehauser, but also several publications, a paper that is frankly... controversial. I brought you in to discuss this with you and to manage how this is presented."

Leonard stared. "Controversial? What do you mean?"

"Well, Leonard, both Dr Gablehauser and Dr Rothman have reviewed the math of that amazing equation and they, frankly, can't make heads or tails of it."

Dr Gablehauser interjected, "That's not what I said. What I said was that the nature of the math was such that there are only three or four people on earth who could figure out the deeper meaning. I see the general direction he's going, but he lost me on the dimensional modeling. Dr Rothman?"

The elderly man spoke up, "It's beautiful. Just beautiful. I don't understand it all, but it's just so lovely. You've seen the face of God, Dr Hofstadler. You've seen the face of God."

Leonard watched President Siebert give Dr Gablehauser a look of disbelief. He, on the other hand, knew what Dr Rothman was saying. In many ways, he felt the same way. He was also starting to feel impatient. "I don't understand the issue. I've submitted papers before. I followed all protocols. I even cc'ed you, President Siebert, on the off chance any of this would affect the university. Even though I didn't need to. I don't understand what the issue is now?"

President Siebert looked nervous as he spoke, "Leonard, the issue in question is the reputation of the university."

Leonard was starting to see where this was headed. "I think I get it. You don't think that what I have written is right and you don't want this to somehow spill over onto Caltech. What I don't get is why you care? God knows there have been dozens of papers about theories that don't pan out. I don't remember any of those people being brought in even afterwards and certainly not before."

Dr Gablehauser spoke, "Dr Hofstadler, we are currently trying to recruit Dr David Underhill. You paper is a direct refutation of some his best work. Unlike President Siebert, my biggest concern is whether the equation in your paper is correct. If so, it makes me question the decision to recruit Dr Underhill. If it isn't, he would see it as a direct attack on his reputation and would be very unlikely to wish to be a member of this faculty."

Leonard had had enough. He stood up. "I'm done talking. My math is right. If you don't understand it, I recommend you send it to someone who _can_ understand it. For God's sake, the experimental evidence is right there, put up for anyone to review on the University's server. So get your crap together. As for me, I'm going on vacation starting five o'clock tomorrow. You can let me know when you figure out I'm right."

With that, he walked out, gently shutting the door behind him.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

President Gerald Siebert looked over at Eric Gablehauser. "What do you think?"

Eric shrugged. "I think we should send this to someone who can make heads or tails of it."

Gerald Siebert stared at him. "How can you be so flippant? This could be a huge deal and I don't just mean losing Dr Underhill."

Eric smiled. "Gerald, you're not seeing the bigger picture. Or even the smaller. First, Dr Hofstadler is one of the absolutely last people who I would expect to put out something that is incorrect."

Gerald glared. "I remember a paper with an arithmetic error on it."

"Silly mistake. Not the same thing at all. Second, there's nothing absolutely nothing we can do at this point. The paper's been submitted to a half dozen journals."

"And the bigger picture?"

Eric grinned, "If Dr Hofstadler is right, as I suspect he is, we could be looking at the next Richard Feynman. We could be looking at millions, if not tens of millions, of research money and grants, not even including private donations. Compared to a minor chance of recruiting David Underhill."

For the first time, Gerald Siebert looked speechless. Eric glanced over at Dr Rothman, who looked half asleep and nothing like the brilliant man he actually was. "What do you think, Dr Rothman?"

Faded blue eyes looked his way. "Well, I think the young man's on to something. His equation is just beautiful. I've never seen anything more edifying since Feynman's theory of quantum electrodymanics. He'll go far. Mark my words, he'll go far."

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard spent the remainder of the day putting together the proposal to the Air Force for the proposed changes he could make to the failed rocket fuel. He even explained the oxidizer errors and how he proposed to fix the problem. It was a relatively simple set of experiments that he could run on a relatively small budget. The biggest issue would be purchase of a Tandem Quadrupole Mass Spectrometer to analyze samples.

Leonard sent it off to his contact in Air Force Research Laboratory who would decide if it were worth their time. If it was, it would be off to his superiors who would grease the way for the money. It was a short cut Leonard had figured out early in his career.

Now all he had to do was write up that list of possible research avenues he knew would be triggered by his paper...

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard woke up early the next morning having already decided he wasn't going to work that day. He'd count it as another vacation day. After dropping off Sheldon and telling him that he'd need to find another way home, he decided to go see Penny and take her to breakfast.

It was after nine, so Leonard figured she would still be asleep. Grinning, he decided to play a prank. In his best Sheldon voice, he began.

Knock. Knock.

"Penny."

Knock. Knock.

"Penny."

Knock. Knock.

"Penny."

Abruptly, the door swing open and an irate blonde filled it. She was swearing. "Goddammit, Sheldon, I am going to karate chop you right across the throat. I'm..." Penny trailed off as she seemed to finally register who was standing in front of her. "Where's Sheldon?"

In the meantime, Leonard was grinning for an entirely different reason as he enjoyed looking at the gorgeous blonde in front of him. Penny had answered the door in her sleep shorts and a white tank top, her hard nipples clearly visible beneath. He casually stepped forward and pulled Penny into a kiss. After a second, she kissed him back. When he finally ended it, Leonard left his hands resting on Penny's hips. She looked suspicious. "There wasn't any Sheldon, was there?"

"Sorry. It was me."

Penny smacked him on the butt to Leonard's surprise. "Bad Leonard. And I was having such a nice dream, too."

Leonard gave her a mischievous grin. "Was it about me? Because I was dreaming about you last night."

Leonard's eyes widened as Penny blushed from the roots of her hair to the neckline of her tank top. Her eyes avoided his as she blustered, "Your ego is getting too big if you think that all I do is lay around dreaming about you."

Leonard tipped Penny's chin up so that she had no choice but to meet his eyes. Softly, he said, "Penny, it's okay to dream about me. God knows you star in far too many of mine. My dream last night was of the two of us at Comic Con. You were wearing the Princess Leia slave girl bikini and I was Han Solo. We were just about to get into the George Lucas question panel when I woke up."

Penny's eyes were now filled with mirth as she questioned, "What is this fetish you have with dressing up as Han Solo? Should I be worried?"

"Only if you think you wouldn't look good in a chain mail bikini."

Penny's expression grew flirty. "I would totally rock a chain mail bikini."

Leonard's expression and voice grew reverent as he murmured, "Please let that something that I get to see before I die. I'll be so good. I promise."

Penny was blushing slightly as she teased, "Perv."

Leonard smiled. "You bring out the perv in me. I never wanted to dress up anyone as amazingly sexy movie characters until I met you. Now I keep imagining you in everything from that chain mail bikini to a fur bikini like the one Raquel Welch wore in _One Million, BC_."

Penny threw back her head in a laugh all the way from her belly. "Well, at least I'm in good company since they're all beautiful and famous."

Leonard smiled tenderly. "That's going to be you someday, Penny. You'll be beautiful and famous and when I tell people you're mine, no one will believe me."

Penny's smile faded and an indiscernible expression took it's place. "You see us still together when I'm a famous actress?"

Leonard spoke from the heart as he stated, "I see us together when we old and gray with servants waiting on hand and foot. You're sitting there still beautiful and have to beat me off with a stick because I can't keep my hands off of you."

Penny stuttered, "Y-you s-see us married in this future of yours."

Leonard knew how gunshy Penny was. He reassured her. "I see us together. Maybe we're married. Maybe we live together. It doesn't matter. The key term is together."

Penny leaned in and rested her forehead against his. She whispered, "Together would be nice."

They stood there a moment longer, but finally Penny stepped back, a frown creasing her brow. "Why aren't you at work? I thought you were going in today."

Leonard shrugged. "Something came up. I though I'd tell you about it over breakfast."

Penny turned around and headed back towards her bedroom. As Leonard admired the rearview of her walking away, she called over her shoulder, "Fine. But it had better be IHOP, especially if your staring at my ass!"

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Penny yawned as she waited with the bags while Leonard went to pick up their rental car. She was still annoyed on Leonard's behalf from when he had told her about the University's reaction to his paper. It sucked that he hadn't gotten the kudos he deserved. Just then a bright red Mustang drove up.

Astounded, Penny watched as Leonard jumped out and popped the trunk. "Leonard, what did you rent?"

Leonard gave her a jaunty grin. "It's a Mustang GT. Do you like it?"

Penny slowly smiled. It _was_ a sexy car. She teased, "It's a hot car. Do you think you can handle it?"

Leonard straightened, his eyes on hers. "I can handle a lot of things, hot or otherwise. Why don't you get in and I'll show you how much."

Penny gave him a doubtful look, her eyes sparkling. "Are you sure? It takes a lot of man to handle something that fast."

"Okay, now I'm going to have to show you. I wonder if we can both fit in the back seat. It is kinda small."

Penny started giggling. "Leonard! I'm not getting in the back seat of that car with you. What kind of girl do you think I am?"

Leonard slammed the trunk on their bags. He opened the door for her, but captured her in a kiss before letting her sit. "A Gorgeous." Kiss. "Sexy." Kiss. "Wonderful." Kiss. "Exciting." Kiss. "Adventurous." Kiss. "Gorgeous."

Penny broke free with a laugh and slipped into her seat. "You started repeating yourself. I think it's time to go."

"Fine. Fine. Let's blow this Popsicle stand."

Penny just laughed as he got in and they drove off.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Wyatt Sanders looked out his window one more time. Behind him, his wife Elizabeth called, "Wyatt, they're not going to get here faster with you staring out there."

Wyatt waved his hand. "I know. But I just want to see what kind of loser Penny's dragging along with her this time."

'Wyatt Sanders! How dare you say that! I know that Penny's showed questionable judgment in the past, but this time's different. She's dating a doctor."

Wyatt turned from the window and went and sat back down in his recliner. "I know what she said. But who knows who'll actually be showing up."

Elizabeth shook her head sadly. "You looked him up on the internet thing. He sounds perfectly respectable."

Wyatt growled. "Maybe."

Just then, they heard the sound of a car driving up. Wyatt looked out quickly before dropping the curtain back. "They're driving up in a fancy red sportscar. I told you it was too good to be true."

Elizabeth got up and pulled him back from the window. "Get back. They'll be inside in a minute and you can decide then."

Less than a minute passed before Penny pushed the door open and walked in with her usual exuberant style. "Mom! Dad! I'm home!" She rushed over and hugged them both.

A short young man a few years older than Penny wearing stylish glasses and expensive clothes walked in behind her. Penny stepped back over and latched onto his left arm. "Mom, dad, this is Leonard Hofstadler. Leonard, this is my mom, Elizabeth, and my dad, Wyatt."

Wyatt looked Leonard in the eye as he shook his hand, noting the steady eye contact. If he was nervous meeting his girlfriend's parents, he concealed it well. Wyatt spoke, "It's nice to meet you Leonard. Or is it Dr Hofstadler?"

Leonard grinned back at him. "Only if you're the Tenure Board. It's nice to meet you Mr Sanders. Mrs Sanders."

Elizabeth stepped up and said, "Oh, Leonard, please call us Elizabeth and Wyatt. It is so nice to meet you. Won't you sit down?"

Wyatt watched as his wife set out to be the perfect hostess, a position that she almost never bothered with, but had assumed because the visitor was a doctor. He almost scoffed at the idea, but pretty much anything would be a step up from Penny's usual guy. He tuned back into the conversation.

"So what exactly do you do, Leonard? Penny said something about you being a physicist."

Leonard sound self deprecating as he said, "I'm actually an experimental physicist at Caltech."

"And Penny says you're a doctor?"

Wyatt stared as Leonard spoke, "Yes, ma'am. I got my doctorate a little over four years ago. Since then, I've taught a few classes, but mostly worked on confirming through experimentation various theories proposed by theoretical physicists."

Penny chimed in, "He was just at a conference giving a talk about a paper he wrote on superfluidity of solids."

All three of the others in the room turned to stare at the blonde. It was Leonard who spoke, "I didn't know you knew anything about my work."

Penny shrugged. "I don't, not really. I didn't understand even one percent of what you talked about. What I just said was the extent of what I remember."

Wyatt was flabbergasted. Even more so when Leonard asked, "Really? What's a superfluid?"

Penny's brow furrowed. "Uh, matter that behaves like a liquid with zero viscosity and zero... uh... zero entropy?"

Leonard hugged her and said, "And you say you're not smart? Phooey to that."

Elizabeth exclaimed, "That's amazing, Penny. It sounds like you've learned a thing or two since community collage."

Next to Leonard, Penny stiffened slightly. In a strained voice, she said, "Maybe. Maybe Leonard's just a good teacher."

Wyatt knew that remark wouldn't go over well. Penny had been extremely sensitive to even implied criticism regarding her intelligence. He knew that Elizabeth didn't mean anything by it and would feel bad about it later. He was just about to say something to defuse the situation when Leonard beat him to it.

"I give full credit to the student in this case. Penny, you're amazing."

Wyatt watched in absolute amazement as Penny literally glowed at Leonard's words. She turned a soft smile up at him while he slipped an arm around her shoulders. He had never seen Penny act that way before. He really needed to think about it. But that could wait until later.

"The two of you must be exhausted. Why don't you grab your bags and head up to your room."

It was Leonard who asked, "_Our_ room?"

Wyatt shrugged. "Leonard, I gave up years ago trying to separate Penny from her boyfriends even here. So we set the two of you up in her room. Just be discreet. _Please._"

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Leonard put the last of their bags in Penny's room and sat down on the bed, ears still ringing with Wyatt's words. He looked up when Penny walked in. She looked at him in amusement.

Plaintively, he asked, "Why didn't you tell me that we were going to be sharing your room? And your bed."

Penny sat down next to him. She gently bumped his shoulder. "Because I wasn't one hundred percent sure dad would go for it. I had him trained before, but it's been a while since I brought a boy home."

Leonard teased her back. "Well, he seems trained to me. He practically handed your virtue to me with only the admonishment to be quiet while with you."

Penny gave him a look of astonishment. "Well, aren't you a bad boy?"

Leonard waggled his eyebrows. "What? The car didn't give it away?"

Penny giggled. "The next thing you know, you'll be buying a red Mustang for real."

Leonard gave a thoughtful pause at that. Penny poked him in the side breaking his concentration. "I wouldn't get red. But I really like the way that car looks in bright blue."

Penny goggled at him. "Seriously?"

Leonard shrugged. "I only kept the Volvo because Sheldon likes its safety record. I've been wanting a new car for a while. If I get one, you want the Volvo?"

Penny shook her head. "Leonard, I can't afford to buy your car. And I won't let you give it to me."

Leonard gave her a knowing look. "Penny, your car is on its last legs. Sheldon told me about the check engine light."

Penny looked stubborn. "It will last me just fine."

Leonard winked at her. "We'll talk about it later."

Penny's eyes narrowed dangerously as she looked back at him. He gave her puppy dog eyes, which soon melted her expression into one of confusion. Leonard gave an internal grin and thought that he needed to remember how he did that.

Just the Penny stood up and said, "Turn around."

"Huh?"

"I need to get changed for bed and I'm not going all the way down to the bathroom at the end of the hall with my clothes just to do it."

Leonard got up with alacrity and turned around while interesting sounds occurred behind him. Then Penny spoke again, "You're safe."

Leonard turned around and gaped. Penny was wearing a silky looking mid thigh length nightshirt that clung to every curve. Her nipples were visible beneath the thin material. Eyes shining, he asked, "But are _you _safe? I wouldn't place a bet on that."

Penny slid into her bed and tugged the comforter up to her chin. With one hand she indicated for him to get undressed. With a mischievous smile, Leonard slowly did a slow striptease with exaggerated gestures until he was down to his undershirt and boxers. Then he leaped onto the bed as Penny giggled hysterically.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***

Wyatt stopped in his tracks as he heard his youngest giggling like mad. He then turned around and walked back to his room. As he walked in, Elizabeth looked at him and asked, "Did they need any additional blankets?"

Wyatt blinked. "If they did, Penny can get them herself."

Elizabeth grinned. "Heard something did you?"

Wyatt slid off his robe and sat down and slipped into bed. "I heard Penny laughing. She sounded happy." This last was said in a wistful tone.

Elizabeth gave him an uncertain look. "That's good, right? I mean, Leonard clearly cares about her. Don't you think so?"

Wyatt thought as he relaxed into the comfort of his bed. "It looks that way. Certainly she like _him."_

"And that worries you?"

Wyatt sighed. "Leonard is certainly an intelligent and educated man."

"So?"

"What's a guy like Leonard doing with a girl like Penny? Liz, I love our daughter, but is she really the kind of girl that someone like him would settle down with?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "Wyatt, you fool of a man. You might as well ask what a girl like Penny is doing with a guy like Leonard. He's nothing like the guys she usually dates. He's not tall, dark, and tattooed. But somehow, she still likes him. Enough to remember something from some presentation he gave on some crazy subject which she probably doesn't know or care about except that it's Leonard's. I think it's sweet."

Wyatt wasn't convinced. "I hope you're right. Penny needs a good guy. She deserves one, especially after all of those losers she's dated."

Elizabeth patted him on the shoulder comfortingly, and said, "Well we have over a week to get to know him. That should be plenty of time to find out how he feels about Penny. Plus he has to meet Sweetie. If no one else does, she'll sort him out."

Wyatt chuckled. That was certainly true. Sweetie would most definitely sort him out.

***Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny******Leonard/Penny***


End file.
